𝓒𝓾𝓽𝓮 𝓞𝓷𝓮𝓼𝓱𝓸𝓽𝓼

𝓢𝓽𝓸𝓻𝔂 6 (EDITED!)

Hey guys! I decided to rewrite this story because it wasn't going anywhere... It's going to be a new plot and different characters! Enjoy :) 

(TW- DEPRESSION, SELF HARM, DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO THIS)

PLEASE SKIP TO NOTE IN BOLD AT THE END OF THIS STORY IF YOU ARE NOT GOING TO READ THIS

"𝐼𝓃 𝓌𝒽𝒾𝒸𝒽 𝒥𝓊𝓁𝒾𝒶𝓃 𝓁𝑒𝒶𝓇𝓃𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝒽𝑒 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇 𝒶𝓁𝑜𝓃𝑒."

Julian's POV

"You just aren't enough."

"Why can't you just stop screwing up for one second?"

"What is wrong with you? You have it all, but you don't want it?"

These thoughts just kept racing around my head, along with many similar ones. This was why I asked my math teacher if I could use the bathroom. I could just be left alone to wander in the hall for a little bit, and just sit against the lockers and brood. I managed to sit down with shaky legs, and rest my head on my knees, burying my head in my arms. This was probably the most hopeless I have ever felt, and I took a deep breath, trying to hold in the tears I knew would come out soon. At this moment, I just wished someone would stop assuming I had an amazing life, look deeper and just tell me it would be okay. But no one has ever done that. I sighed again (maybe a little louder than I thought I would), and felt so defeated. With a jolt, I realized that I had been 'in the bathroom' for a bit over ten minutes... slightly concerning, I'm sure, but why did it even matter? I doubt my teacher would even notice. Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty much her favorite student because I'm good at math, which is also probably why she's letting me 'use the bathroom' without getting suspicious. I sighed yet again, and prepared myself to get up.

When I looked up, I saw a pair of checkered Vans with black laces in front of me. My first thought was "Oh god. Not another basic moron girl, please!" I'm so done with all of these brainless girls asking me out just because I'm popular, look good, and play football, soccer, and lacrosse. Why couldn't they just leave me alone? But as I raised my head, then I realized it wasn't one of those annoying girls! I mean, the mid-shin high galaxy-pattern socks should have given it away, along with the rainbow tye-dye shirt and jean shorts... But I guess my brain just isn't working! It was Elise. She's in all of my classes, and my homeroom, but we usually don't talk to each other. "But why not?!" You may be asking. Well, this is because she isn't considered popular (and popular kids usually don't associate with kids who aren't popular; don't ask me why because I didn't make these rules). I happen to know from our few conversations that she is super nice, and smart, and funny! A lot of people in our grade talk nonstop about her because of her interesting fashion choices (which I think are actually ridiculously cute), incredible talent in music and art (she plays piano and sings- like an angel), and how smart she is! You're probably thinking that I like her, and I will admit it. I do. Sadly, she has her (many) groups of friends, who all seem super cool, and she has never paid attention to me... But it seemed like today was my 'lucky' day. I managed to look at her face and into her eyes, and almost forgot about how terrible I was currently feeling. I watched as she sat down across from me, legs criss-crossed, and didn't break eye contact with me.

E- "Hey... Julian! I was going to ask if you're doing okay, but from the looks of it, you don't seem to be. Is everything okay? You don't have to talk to me, I get it, I get it- I'm not 'cool' or whatever, but y'know, if you want to?..."

J- "Uh... Yeah, I'm not feeling so hot right now. Can I just... vent? I know we don't even know each other that well, but I need to get everything out." 

E- "Of course! I completely get it. Go ahead!"

J- "I don't even know where to start. There's just so much that I need to say, and I feel so overwhelmed. I guess lately I've just realized that I... really hate my life sometimes. I just don't feel like I'm worth anything, and that people are only after my looks. Do you see when all those girls are chasing after me?? I hate it so much, because I know they don't really want to get to know me, they just want to be able to say that they have a hot boyfriend who plays a lot of sports and is super popular. And my parents don't even put a lot of pressure on me- well it's pretty much the opposite! And I feel like I don't have a purpose, and everything is just terrible. No one even cares enough to ask me how I'm truly doing- besides you, and you barely know me! Just goes to show that a lot of people just don't care. And it's gotten so much worse, you don't even know. It's actually killing me to get out of bed everyday without a purpose, and slap a smile on my face and participate in school. And my best friends are great, but it just feels like they're always occupied with sports and girls and video games, and I'm just focusing on my studies and I feel so alone. Sometimes I don't sleep at night because I just lay in bed and wish I was dead so I didn't feel this numb."

E- "No. I understand. I've been there, done that, felt everything you have. I used to wish I was dead too, because I thought I was a burden. I've felt so left out before, so numb and confused, and felt like I didn't have a purpose. But it will get better. It will be difficult, but I will be there to help you get through this. You have so many people that truly care about you. Your parents, cousins, grandparents, aunts and uncles, teachers, coaches, mentors, friends, and now you have me. Even though we don't know each other, really, we can. We can hang out, do schoolwork together, go over to each other's houses, and stay up until four in the morning just sitting next to each other when you can't sleep. I know how much pain you're in, but I will be by your side." 

At this point, I was openly crying, tears rolling down my face, splashing onto the cold cement floor of the hallway. Elise also had tears in her eyes, and they were glimmering. She blinked, and they slowly rolled down her cheeks, but she didn't wipe them away. Instead, she raised her shirt, held up her arm, and went to wipe my tears away. This just made me cry even harder, and I realized she did truly care. We stood up, realizing the period was almost over, and just looked at each other in silence. I went to raise my arm, to also wipe her tears away, when my sleeve went up because the hoodie I was wearing was a little big. I froze, and went to quickly push my sleeve down. "No, don't", Elise whispered. She gently held my hand palm-up, and looked at my arm. I gulped, wondering what was going through her head at seeing my arm completely scratched up, some old and faded white scars, some new ones that were an angry red color, and some faded light pink ones. I heard her sniff, and slowly exhale. 

Elise's POV 

I don't know what went through my head, but I felt that it was the right thing to do. I rolled Julian's sleeve back down, looked straight into his eyes, and said "It will be okay. I'm here for you. Forever." One lone tear rolled down from his eye, and I used my thumb to wipe it away. I slowly leaned in, wrapped my arms around him, stood on my tippy-toes, and brushed my lips right next to his. Julian moved his head fractionally, so our lips met. And I whispered against them, 

"We can do this together. Everything will turn out alright." 

Ahhhh I hope you liked it, also sorry it was a bit more dark than my other oneshots :P Also sorry for not updating in a long time, but I just didn't know what to write. And thank you guys for 100 reads! You're all the absolute best! Rock on

You all matter. Each and every one of you. If you ever need someone to talk to, I am here for you, just message me on here :)