Beau

crisp.

As we near the apartments the lights and music coming from within get louder and louder. I turn back to see Harry slagging along, staring down at his phone.

"Why are you staring?" he looks up slowly with a pained look on his face, that vanishes as quick as it appeared. "I've got things to take care of," he doesn't glance or wave bye, he just turns the corner and walks down the street.

I don't understand his hot and cold attitude. One minute he's funny and sort of not an asshole, and the next, he's throwing insults and down right rude. Mr. Darcy isn't like that at all and neither is his wife, so I don't know why their spawn is. Harry Darcy. That name does not go at all.

"Beau! What are you doing here? Who were you just with? Was that Harold? Damn, he's a good fuck, ya know? Wait! Do you know? Wow, you're dirty!" my childhood friend, Savannah comes walking down the lawn. She's drunk as hell, and I would like to be in her place right now.

My eyes roll and I grab the cup out of her hand, sniffing it. It's clearly vodka, and I down the half filled cup. "I wouldn't know. Damn that burned," I throw the cup on the grass and intertwine my hands with Savannah's. "You can't even walk straight. Who did you come with?"

"Oh, you know," she smiles and slumps down to the ground.

"No, I don't know Sav. Who did you come with?"

"I'm going to vomit!" she groans and clenches her hands on her stomach. Soon enough the bottles of vodka she downed are all over her clothes and mine. "Now I'm better," she grins, "can you take me home,please?"

"I can not believe you just vomited all over me!" I grab her hands and walk towards the next street. "Where did you park?"

"Lincoln Avenue," she said, moaning.

Getting her to the car was a difficult on its own, now getting her inside of it, that was ridiculous. When we got to her apartment, she was passed out, puke falling from her mouth.

"Come on, we're here," I tell her, pulling at her blouse, she wakes up, and trips over her heels all the way to the door. Like usual, the door is unlocked, Savannah is not one for locking doors, ever.

I walk in;All I hear is deep moaning. Sav walks off to her room, not paying attention to the grunts soaring through the apartment. "Don't stop!"

"Dear God, you people are disgusting." I mutter under my breath.

"Shit, shit, shit! Sav? I thought you weren't coming home tonight. Weren't you supposed to fuck Harry or something." Liz, Sav's roommate, of course, when is she not having sex.

Liv walks out of her bedroom, wrapped in a sheet. "Oh, Beau, sorry. Where's, Sav?" she asks, completely embarrassed.

"What do you mean she was supposed to fuck, Harry?"

"You didn't know? Those two have been fucking for the last two months, everywhere and anywhere. This one time they did it in Rosie's bathroom, Rosie wasn't even home. Don't ask me, he probably got done sleeping with Rosie too. God, Harry, that would be such a good fuck!" She practically squeals.

"What the fuck, Liv? I'm literally naked in your bed, waiting to come," Mystery Man yells from her bedroom.

"Oh yeah," she laughs. "See you later, Beau, let's hangout sometime soon, you look great by the way! Those boobs are killer!"

In retrospect, I've come to find out two things tonight; Darcy has a kid, and Darcy's kid is a complete asshole and a slut, wonderful.

...

Dear whoever wants to listen,

Last night was completely insane. I found out Darcy had a kid, the kid being Harry. Sav's puke is still on my clothes, too lazy to do anything about them right now. I came home, and had a bottle of vodka straight. It was fucking terrible, but the release of tension and pain was fascinating. Different than anything I have felt in awhile. For an hour or two, I don't have to worry about what's next. I don't have to think about anything, just the crisp sensation rolling down my throat.

Okay, that sounds too obsessive, but I am telling you, the getaway is well worth the headache I am having at this moment. I want to feel again. But, I don't want to deal with pain. It's so selfsh and it makes no sense, but it's what I want. But really, does anything make sense to me anymore? No, and I need to figure out who I am and what the hell I am going to do with my life.

A.N.: Okay, how do you like Beau's impromptu entries? Let me know! Thank you for reading!