Want It All: Billie Eilish x Reader Female

Four: Before her

TRIGGER WARNING: mentions of over use of drugs, sex, and domestic violence. Use of drugs are also contained in this chapter. VDA READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.
*...*= flashbacks
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As Billie and I walked downstairs, I thought about what happened in my room, stupid ass Stella ruined it. It's ok though I still love her.

I reached the bottom of the steps with Billie by my side, we went over to the living room that only had a few people in it. There were four guys, Q, Brandon, Justin, and X, and five girls, Stella, Miley, me, Billie and two girls I didn't know named Danielle and Lilia, they were sitting in a circle.

"Billie, Jaylee come sit" Stella patted a seat next to her for the both of us. We both sat down and waited for someone to explain the game.

" ok so, this game is called truth or kiss" Miley started as she placed an empty vodka bottle in the middle of the circle. " how it works is you spin the bottle and whoever it lands on, you ask them a truth. If they don't want to share, you get to choose who they kiss" Stella explains with a smirk plastered on her face.

My face turned pink at the thought of kissing Billie. I was erupted out of my daze by lilia's voice. "Who's going first" she asked.

"Jaylee you go!" Miley giggles, I roll my eyes playfully and spin the bottle. I watch as it lands on Brandon.

"Hm ok, Brandon, is it true that you and Lilia fucked in my bathroom at last weeks party?" I smiled as Billie choked on her drink.

"I-uh kiss" he says nervously. " okay, I want you to kiss Miley" I smirk. Miley's always had a crush on Brandon, so this is her chance. Brandon lightly blushed as he walked over to Miley and kissed her for a good 15 seconds. As they pulled away, Miley's face was full on red. She tried to cover it by looking down.

Miley spun through bottle and landed on Danielle. " Danielle, is it true that you bought your mom" Miley cocked an eyebrow and chuckled. Miley was too blunt but that's Danielle's problem today.

Danielle scolded Miley with pure hate. " yeah I did, and I'll bust you up like I did her" she spat then stood up. " oh yeah cause I heard of your bitchass lost" Miley stood up too. I looked at Billie, making eye contact as Danielle walked up to Miley. I quickly stood up onto my feet and got in between them, I place a hand on Danielle's chest and lightly pushed her back.

"You're not gonna touch her" I say confidently. She lets out a short laugh before she swung at me. Thankfully Miley stepped in front of me and caught her hand, she twisted it, making her fall to her knees. She let go of Danielle's hand and told her to leave.

" Man fuck this" she rolled her eyes before leaving. It was silent for a good minute until Billie spoke up "well then, let's keep playing bro" she claps her hands then rubs then together. 

Me and Miley sat down as I sparked up a joint. I looked at Billie and held the joint up. "You wanna hit?" I ask. "I've never smoked before" she blushes clearly embarrassed, she so cute. "Here" I hand her the joint, she took it in between her fingers and looked at me waiting for my directions.

"Now take a hit and inhale it" I smiled as she did what I said and inhaled it. "Now hold in it until I say to-" I was cut off my her coughing, smoke blowing out her mouth into the air. I laughed and she became embarrassed, I grabbed the joint.

"Here let's try something else" I said and took a hit but didn't inhale, I took her face in my hand and brought her mouth to mine. I blew the smoke out and she inhaled it into her mouth. "Hold it" she did as told and after ten seconds I told her to exhale, and she did without coughing.

"Niceeee" I smiled, she returned one back, we both shared as the game went on.

"Okay so X it's your turn" Billie said wit a half smile. "Ight bet" he spun the bottle and it landed on me, shit, I grew nervous waiting for my truth.

"Is it true that you O.D'd" he frowns, I sharply inhaled as I tensed up as I felt everyone's eyes on me, especially Billies. "Dude what the fuck?!" Stella snaps with a smug face expression. Tears started to form in the brims of my eyes as memories from the past flooded into my brain.

*
I walked into the apartment that I shared with my deadbeat boyfriend, Jaden, it was 11 PM when I arrived because my job made me stay late. I walked into the living room and seen him pacing around. He looked up at me with an angry expression on his face.

"Where the FUCK have you been" I flinched at him screaming. "I-I has to work lat-" "SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU WORTHLESS SLUT" he cut me off, I fell to the ground with a burning sensation on my cheek, he slapped me. Tears filled my eyes "I'm not worthless" mumble as I punch him in the dick. He bent over and groaned in pain, he looks over at me in the eyes.

Fire.

Fire was all I could see in his dark brown eyes, I instantly regretted what I did, he grabbed my arm harshly and pulled me into our bedroom. "So you can come home late and hit me" he chuckles and pushes me on the bed and grabbed a silver bottle that was on the nightstand.

"W-what is that?" I asked nervously. "It's a new drug the plug offered." He smiled as he opens the bottle. I've been trying to get sober but he was holding me back, my sponsor told me to let him go, I just couldn't cause I loved him so much. Right now I don't know why the fuck I do.

"You ready baby?" He smirked evilly as he he took a pocket knife and scoops up a clear glossy substance. "Jayden I-" "this shit will fuck you up bae, open your mouth" he held the spoon to my mouth, the drug touched my lips as I refused to open them. I shook my head no, Jayden rolled his eyes and squeezed my cheeks together with one hand, forcing my mouth to open. He put the knife on my tongue, wiping off the drug on to it. He laughed as he put the knife and bottle into the drawer.

The drug tingled my mouth as It went down my throat. It hit me instantly, my eyes went low and my body felt like it was floating, it felt good for minute or two before my stomach started to feel weird. "How you feel jay?" He smirked, my hands started to shaken "I-It's t-t-too much" he laughs and goes onto his phone as my whole body starts to shake rapidly as I heard Jayden talking on the phone.

"911? My girlfriend overdosed our address is-" that's the last thing I heard before my eyes rolled my back and I blacked out. I felt nothing, seen nothing, heard nothing.

I was free.

*

"Jaylee!" I look over at Billie who was calling my name. "Are you okay?" She asked, I nodded and wiped the tears I didn't know were falling.

"Uhm y-yea, it's true I O.D'd but it was a long time ago and it's wasn't my fault." I admit. I hear A laugh and roll his eyes.

"What Q?" She snapped which was hot. "Well it's obvious she did it because she wanted to" he laughed, I looked up at him like he was fucking stupid cause he is. "Dude that's-" I cut Billie off "are you fucking serious" I stood and stared him down.

I chuckle and run my hair through my hands, "Yea yea you're right, I wanted to go to the fucking hospital, drugged with everyone to pity me, and I wanted to stay with my abused boyfriend who belittled and cheated and beat and forced drugs into me.And yea I wanted to tell everyone everyone that these scares all over me are from him" my voice broke as I took my unbutton shirt off, revealing all the deep scares on my arms and stomach, I heard Billie gasp and cover her mouth.

"AND I WANTED TO FUCKING OVERDOSE IN JAYDEN's BED AS HE LEFT ME THERE TO DIE LIKE I WAS NOTHING" I scream out of anger, how could you treat a person so fucking badly is what I didn't understand.

It was silently apart from my heavy breathing, I look to seen everyone in shock and Q with his head down.

"Jaylee I-" "just get out Q, all of you just get the fuck out of my house." I said feeling all my entertainment drain from my body. I turn to see Billie looking at me with pity.

"Please don't look at me like that bil, I'm sorry for another bad impression." I say. "Jaylee..." Billie said but I kept walking up the stairs into my room. What a day.

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Sorry I haven't been writing but I'll write a lot tmr. Love ya bitches

- Xoxo J🖤