Whispers of the Young

It had been over a week and a half since her cycle was meant to appear. Aelin tried not to jump to conclusions but when you were in the middle of a war it was hard not to imagine what it would be like to raise a child. Bright thoughts made everything seem a little easier.

But even if she was with child, she knew it could never happen. In order for Erawan and the Valg to truly leave this world, she would have to sacrifice everything.

All these thoughts passed through her head as she hurled her guts up for the second time that day. It didn't help that Fenrys had inadvertently quoted Baba Yellowlegs or that the Wyrdmark that burned her forehead during her fight with Cain was the mark of the Nameless. Nameless is my price.

A knock rang out through all her inner monologue. Rowan. She had forgotten that she'd locked the bathroom door. Now she was going to pay for that, one way or another.

"Aelin," he growled softly. She took a deep breath, waiting for a reprimand and immediately regretted it as she hurled more of last night's dinner.

"Aelin," he repeated, as if that would make her talk. It worked.

"I don't feel well," she replied, not entirely lying.

"Then let me take care of you." Rowan's voice sounded so despondent that she almost broke and told him there and then about their child. But she couldn't. If she did, there would be no escaping the territorial Fae bullshit he always pulled on her.

She steeled her nerves and lied through her teeth. "I don't want you to see me like this."

If she had been in his place she would've already broken down the door. Luckily, Rowan had more decency than her and just said, "I've seen you wet yourself. I can handle vomiting. Which I have also seen you do before." If it weren't for the fact that he would smell her pregnancy on her if she opened the door, she would've slammed it open just to complain about what he just said. It hadn't been her fault it had happened. If anything, it had been his fault. He was the one who brought her out to the barrows in the first place.

Eventually, Rowan's patience must've snapped and he broke the lock. She panicked.

"Just-give me a minute."

Instead of listening, Rowan asked, "What was it about Fenrys words that set you off?"

She didn't question how he heard, but she did question why the gods were not on her side. Nameless is my price. She was the price of their survival. Aelin could never tell Rowan that. He would fight it and destroy them all just to keep her safe. She smiled fondly for a minute, but it quickly disappeared as he said her name almost desperately.

She closed her eyes and turned the lock. Her gaze was on the floor as she said, "I want to talk to Lysandra." She knew he was scenting her, but she said nothing. There was a very high chance he wouldn't scent the baby on her through all the vomit.

As Rowan walked away from her, Aelin nearly sagged in relief. It had been too close. If he tried to corner her again, she knew she would crack under the pressure and tell him everything.

After a few minutes, Lysandra came down. "Okay what's wrong Aelin? You never push away your Fae bastard."

Aelin just started crying. Lysandra immediately started backtracking. "What did that Fae bastard do to you? I'm gonna kick my foot so far up his ass he won't walk for days because of this." Despite crying, Aelin laughed.

"He didn't do anything Lys. This one's all me."

Lysandra sighed. "Well then, what did you do this time, Aelin? It better not be anything stupid or illegal."

Aelin wiped away her tears and took a deep breath. She was the queen of Terrasen and a godsdamn assassin for crying out loud! She could do this. "I may or may not be pregnant."

Lysandra blinked. And then blinked again. She blinked so many times Aelin began to get worried for her female friend.

"You okay there Lys?"

Lysandra took another moment and said, "That was not what I was expecting to hear today. But I can't wait to see the combination of your hot genes with Rowan's. That child will be a heartbreaker one day."

"You- you're okay with this? I mean, we're in the middle of a war and I'm pregnant! Besides, you know he still feels guilty over Lyria and their unborn child. How could I ever do that to him again?" Lysandra's face softened as Aelin began to hyperventilate again and wrapped her in a hug. Aelin froze before clinging to her.

"I'm so proud of you Aelin," Lysandra whispered softly. "I know this isn't an easy thing to deal with. But for what it's worth? I know you will be an amazing mother. And you'll have an amazing godmother at your side because this baby is my godchild, or else."

Aelin laughed weakly. "Who else would I choose?"

Lysandra broke off the hug fest to stare at her accusingly. "And why are you telling me this? You should be telling Rowan, so he'll hurry his act up and marry you."

Aelin blushed. "I-"

"I don't care what your excuse is. You are telling your boyfriend that he is going to become a father right now. You'll be fine."

When Aelin made no signs of moving, Lysandra flapped her hands at Aelin. "Shoo!"

"Thank you Lys," Aelin hugged her friend one last time and left to talk to her carranam.

She found him in the kitchen, looking mildly concerned at what Fenrys was saying. As soon as she walked in, Rowan's head snapped up and Fenrys stopped talking.

She shuffled her feet, wishing she didn't look like she had cried right before this. (Which she had, but like hell was she going to admit to that.)

"I need to talk to Rowan, Fenrys."

"Of course, I completely understand. Please pretend I'm not here. I'll even cover my eyes for you."

Aelin glared at him. She did not have time for this. "Alone."

Fenrys had the decency to look slightly abashed as he walked out.

They both waited a moment after he left. Aelin opened her mouth to confess, but Rowan beat her to it.

"What aren't you telling me Aelin?" His voice was so desperate for answers, she knew she had to tell him.

"I'm pregnant," she whispered, closing her eyes, waiting for what was bound to come.

Rowan jerked back immediately. Aelin could only imagine the memories that ran through his head. Thinking about it made tears well up. She wiped them away angrily. Now was definitely not the time for her hormones to act up.

"What?" His voice was strong but his eyes betrayed him. I don't understand; I thought you were using a tonic.

She did not back down. You know how hard it is for the Fae to conceive. If this was my only chance to give Terrasen a heir, I would gladly do it over again.

Rowan hesitated for a few more moments, looking conflicted but eventually pulled Aelin into a hug.

"Thank you for giving me a child, Ae. It may be hard to raise them in war, but I would do anything for you and for them." He rested one hand on her still flat stomach and the other pulled her close.

She pulled away to look at him. "Really? But with what happened with Lyria-"

Rowan stopped her before she could continue her thoughts. "We're in this together, Fireheart." He kissed her to prove himself. "To whatever end."

Aelin looked up at her carranam and smiled weakly, even as a voice inside mocked her for not telling him another truth. Even as she wondered just how deeply the price of the war would run. Nameless is my price.