Doctor Who Academy Era Oneshots

Nobody Likes Braxiatel

*Thanks to Thirteenth_Sin for the idea!*

Irving Braxiatel, Theta’s older brother, irritated the Deca so much. Ushas often called him a “pompous prat” and hated everything he stood for. That was what prompted her to suggest something entirely out of character.

“Well, why don’t we prank Brax?” she suggested one morning, making a startled Theta drop his morning cocoa. “I’m in. What sort of prank?” Koschei replied immediately. Ushas smiled wickedly, stirring her ginger tea. She slid a vial across the table to Theta. “Drink this, Thete. It’s harmless, I promise,” she said. Nervously, Theta drank the contents of the vial.

In a flash, a young woman with long blonde hair and bright blue eyes sat where Theta had been moments before. “Thete!” Koschei yelled. “What? What happened?” the woman asked. “Oh, Rassilon’s sweaty dress robes… She’s turned you into a woman!” Koschei cried. Then a thoughtful look crossed his face. “I had a lovely dream about this before…”

“Can you not do that?” Ushas asked, appalled. Koschei and Theta laughed. “Now, Theta, you’re going to tell Brax that an experiment you tried to do went wrong, and that Koschei, while trying to help you relax, also impregnated you. I’ll take it from there,” she ordered once the laughter had died. Knowing better than to question Ushas, they agreed.

 

“Hey, Brax,” Theta said nervously. Brax, who had been admiring his collections, turned around, and jumped when he saw that his little brother was now his little sister. “What happened to you?” he asked. “An experiment I tried to do went wrong. Plus, Koschei wanted to calm me down, and, well… I’m… pregnant…” Theta stammered. Brax turned 50 different shades of red with sheer anger, just as Koschei himself walked up to Theta and wrapped his arms around him/her.

Brax started screaming expletives in various languages at Koschei, at the same time cursing Theta’s stupidity. Ushas ran up then, picking the worst possible time, and shoved a flask into Theta’s hand. “Drink this!” she said, panting. Brax froze, and just then, Theta chugged the contents of the flask in a split second. Ushas grabbed Koschei’s hand and sprinted away, just as Theta erupted in an explosion of rainbow light. Well, as it turned out, it wasn’t exactly light. Brax and his precious collection were both splattered with rainbow goop, and a very shocked Theta stood at the epicenter, finally back to normal. With a glance around, he quickly followed his friends.

 

“Quickly!” Ushas yelled, herding the boys into a classroom and barricading themselves inside. Their tutor, Borusa, stood a few feet away, trying not to laugh. “What did you do this time, Ushas?” he asked. “We just pranked Brax!” Koschei blurted, earning him a swift punch in the ribs by Ushas. Borusa laughed.

“Here’s a suggestion for your next prank, then. Why not prank someone powerful?” Borusa suggested. “Like Rassilon?” Theta asked. Borusa shrugged. “I suppose, Theta Sigma,” he replied.

And that is how Ushas’s rat ate the Lord President Rassilon’s cat and bit Rassilon himself, forcing him to regenerate.