No One's Land

Chapter Four

I lay on the ground with the dog's limp neck still clutched in my arms and let out a hoarse sob. I killed it. I killed a dog. And then, as if to make me feel worse, the voice in my head says, Sammy always wanted a pet dog.

Fuck you, me.

I slowly disentangle my arms and lay the dog's head down gently on the carpet. I push myself up into a sloppy hands-and-knees crawl, wincing at the pain I feel with each movement over to the bed. I make it, though, and brace my arms on the mattress. God, why do hotel beds have to be so high? I shift all my weight to my right leg and push with what little strength I have in my arms. I have to fix myself up before my heart stops racing, before the adrenaline wears off. I know that the adrenaline is the only thing keeping me from losing consciousness. I attempt to shift my weight to my left leg and find out, along with a small moan, that it is going to be impossible to walk. I look around the room. The floor lamp. It's one of the tall ones that can light a whole room. I hop ridiculously over to it and grab the pole for support, only hoping I won't fall.

I don't.

I pick the lamp up, balancing on one foot, and place it down a few feet in front of me. My left shoe is soaked and warm. I hop over to where I placed the lamp, still clutching it with white knuckles. Rinse and repeat. I try not to think about how many times I'll have to do this or how long I have. I just have six or so feet to the door. Rinse.  Five feet. Repeat. Four feet. Rinse. Three. Repeat.

I make it to the door and abandon the lamp, transferring my already aching hands to the doorframe. I hippity-hop into the hallway and brace the left side of my body against the wall. The staircase on the left side of the building is closer to the lobby.

Oh shit, the staircase. I feel a deep and trembling fear, almost dread, fall into the pit of my stomach. How in the hell will I make it down those stairs? There's four flights. Just keep moving. I obey myself and lean my weight against the hallway wall and quite awkwardly jump-shuffle my way down the hallway. I make it halfway to the staircase before I begin to feel lightheaded. I look down at the floor as I move and trace the blood trail I left all the way back to the door of my room. The movement of my head makes me feel dizzy, and I lose my balance,
(fumblefeet, hehe)
falling onto my left shoulder. The impact throws my left foot against the floor and pain races up my calf, momentarily clearing my head. A bandage, I need a bandage.

I sit up and pull my shirt, sticky from lying in my own blood, over my head. I fold it in half and, with fingers that are nearly numb, tie it around the wounds in my leg. At least I'm blocking some bleeding. I force myself shakily back up on my right foot in the same position as before. Keep slipping toward the staircase. Finally, the door comes into sight as I turn the corner. I almost lose my balance as I turn, but manage somehow to stay on my foot. Just fifteen more feet. Blythe blackness around my vision is quickly returning and it's becoming difficult to think clearly. I have a brief, slightly unfocused memory of walking down this hallway twelve years ago, for a different reason.

///

I opened to door from Sammy's room into the hallway, repeatedly calling his name. I was yelling at the top of my lungs, and I expected someone to eventually yell to quiet down. No one did.

///

Finally I'm less than six feet from the stairwell door and I decide to risk the last few feet without the help of the wall. I use my left arm to push off of the wall, but the spots in my vision make it hard to see. My head spins and I hit the ground
(why am I such a klutz today?)
with a yell I barely hear and struggle to get back on my feet. I quickly find that my arms won't hold my weight, and my one good leg aches nearly to the point of numbness. I fight against the swirling spots in front of my eyes and the exhausted feeling in my bones. Can't fall asleep. Can't.

I fall asleep.

///

I bolted down the stairs and into the lobby, meaning to find a staff member to help me find Sams. I looked around the open lobby and saw that it was completely empty. The receptionist's desk stood like an abandoned ship in a still ocean. There were no smells of breakfast being served at promptly six, and it was already six-thirty. Already six-thirty? Jesus, time seemed to be flying. Where could he have gone? I yelled Sammy's name again but there was still no answer. The panic in my chest was threatening to overtake my mind again, and I pushed it away. Barely. I walked as calmly as possible to the receptionist's desk and rang the bell. There was no answer. I rang it again and waited another thirty seconds. Still no reply. Biting my lip, I walked around the desk to the door behind it and knocked on it. Silence, as I expected. I tried the knob of the door and found it unlocked. I pushed on it and it swung cleanly open. No one was in this room, which contained a bank of monitors showing camera feeds and desktop screens. There was also an office desk, the kind with drawers next to the knee hole. No Sammy, though. I closed the door and walked back through the lobby, turning into one of the hotel's two main hallways. I knocked on the first door I came to. No answer. I pounded on it with the bottom of my fist. No. Fucking. Answer. I moved onto the next door. No answer. Next. No answer.

No answer.

No answer.

No answer.