Fall

Chapter 6

"What are you doing?" I asked Alex. His face was inches from mine.
"I want to try something." He whispered. His hand cupped the side of my face and he leaned in closer.
"What the hell is wrong with you?!" I yelled, shoving him away from me. I got up from my chair and stood on the opposite side of the room.
"What do you mean 'what the hell is wrong with you'?" He asked me, getting up from his chair as well.
"You did not think that you were going to kiss me, did you?" My hands were rubbing my temples, my mind going crazy. "I mean, are you stupid? What makes you think that I'd ever let you kiss me?!" My mind was in panic mode.
"Can you just chill out, Brynn?" He stood in the corner of my room. His eyes had this desperate feeling in them.
"No, I will not just chill out! Oh my god." I started pacing around my room.
"Okay, so what if I was going to kiss you? It's literally no big deal." I watched his as his eyes turned from desperate to uncaring.
"No big deal? Are you kidding me?" My heart was racing. "Explain. Why is it 'no big deal' to you, huh?" I asked him, crossing my arms over my chest.
"Because it's just a kiss. It could mean nothing."
"Damn, right it could mean nothing." I rolled my eyes. "Actually, no. It wouldn't mean anything at all."
"Exactly." He said, and nodded his head once. "So why is it such a big deal if we both already know it won't mean anything?" We stood across from the room, staring at each other.
"Because.. Because.." I stumbled for my words.
"Because nothing." Alex said. He took a step toward me. I took a step back.
"No! Because a kiss me-means t-that-" I couldn't move anywhere else; I was backed up against my dresser.
"Means that what, Brynna?" He asked me, taking another step.
"T-that two p-people actually like each other. People that kiss s-should h-have feelings for each other, I think."
"Oh okay." He leaned in, his lips inches from mine.
"Is this what you do?" I spoke softly.
"What do you mean?" He placed a hand on one side of my head, leaning against it.
"Is this what you do?" I sighed. "You try to get girls to open up to you... And then you don't open up to them. Then you try and kiss them and get them to start having feelings for you so you can just break their fragile hearts. Well guess what? That's not gonna work with me because I've been there before and I'm not going back." I pushed him away and walked around him, but I felt a hand grab my wrist. Soon enough, there were strong hands placed on my waist, pulling me tight to his body.
"I won't hurt you like he hurt you. Like we both said, this kiss will mean nothing. I just want you to see how it feels. How long has it been since you have been kissed, Brynna? Not for a long time, i'm guessing. " He started leaning in. Trying to reject it, I leaned back, but his hands moved from my waist to face. My face was cradled between his hands. "It's okay." His chocolate brown eyes stared into mine.
Then his lips touched mine for a short couple seconds before he broke the kiss and leaned back to look at me. He was right, I hadn't been kissed in almost 4 years. This time, though, something about it seemed... Different.
"See? Nothing." He dropped his hands from my face and walked backward a couple steps.
"Yeah... Nothing." I slightly smiled at him, but it quickly disappeared.
"You okay?" He asked me. I sat down on my desk and he came and sat on the vanity stool in front of me.
"Um. Yeah. I'm fine." I said, pulling out my calculous notebook, and flicking my finger at him, signaling him to move from my chair. He stood up and just stood behind me.
"Need help?" He asked me, placing his hands on either side of me so he was leaning down, his head resting on my shoulder.
"Um, yeah actually. Are you good at Calc?" I asked him, flipping through pages. My body stiffened when I felt his fingers against my neck, pushing my hair behind my back. Seconds later, his lips were pressed to the skin underneath my ear. The kiss broke for second as I heard the sliding of a chair across my floor and then I looked down only to see his legs on either side of me. I felt his lips connect with my neck again.
"I thought you asked me if I needed help." I said, tilting my head to the side, allowing him more access.
"I am," he kissed down my shoulder, "helping you." He left a trail of kisses down my shoulder and started making his way down my back.
"No you're not." I leaned forward, but his arm came across my stomach and pulled me back towards him. He scooted his chair closer so I could feel his chest against my back.
"Im helping you forget about Calc. Nobody needs calc." He replied, making his way back up towards my neck. I felt his fingers gently scratch my back, and his lips start pushing harshly against my neck.
I pushed him back from me so I could turn to to look at him. Somehow, my legs ended up between his, and he was leaning forward, his hands on either sides of my hips.
"That's not the kind of help I was looking for. Let alone need." I rolled my eyes. And tried to scoot my chair away from him, but his firm hands kept me in place.
"Trust me..." His eyes bore into mine. "You need this." His lips attacked mine and they moved in sync with each other. His hands caressed my back and my thighs. We stood up, without breaking the kiss and made our way over to my closet. We turned around so he sat down first on my bed and he pulled me into his lap so I was straddling him.
He broke the kiss. "Still," he pecked me on the lips, "not mean," pecked my cheek, "anything to you?" He asked between kisses. His lips lingered at this side of my mouth while my hands were tangled in his hair.
"Yeah..." I spoke softly, connecting my lips with his again. "Nothing..."
"You sure?" He broke this kiss for air and looked me in the eyes.
"Are you sure?" I asked him.
"I don't know." He said. I leaned back, flipping my hair to one side so he could press his lips to my neck again.
"What do you mean you don't know? I thought we said this wouldn't mean anything?" I asked him, breathing heavily. I tugged on his hair, bringing his face to mine. Our lips met once again.
"I mean," he leaned back, "I don't know what I feel really." I looked him in the eyes. "All I know is that I really like kissing you." He said, as he rubbed his palms along my thighs.
"I..." I can't believe I was about to say this. "I actually like kissing you too." I said. He smiled up at me, his deep brown eyes, cuter now than they were ever before, catching my attention.
"Wow. Never thought I'd hear those words from you." He said. But I wasn't paying attention.
"I love your eyes." I spoke without thinking. Oh my god. I started shaking my head and looked up at the ceiling. I pushed myself up and off of him and backed away.
"What's wrong?" He asked me, standing up as well. "I thought everything was fine." He said, approaching me, and grabbing my hand.
"It was. But then I went all cheesy and I sounded like a complete idiot and wow I'm babbling a lot. I'm sorry I just need to shut up befor-" I was cut off by lips pressing against mine.
"It wasn't cheesy." Alex said and leaned back to look at me. "Okay, maybe it was. But you didn't sound idiotic at all." His hand cupped my cheek as he stepped against me.
"Really?" I asked him. Somehow, we had made our way back to my bed in that short amount of time and he took my hand, pulling me onto his lap again. I wrapped my arms around his neck.
"Not at all." He gave me a peck on lips. There was a comforting vibe I was getting from his hands caressing my body, his fingers gently gliding against my skin in the slightest ways. We were silent as moments passed and we just stared into each others eyes.
"The last person to tell me they liked my eyes was my mother." Alex gently spoke, as he twirled a strand of my hair between his fingers.
"Aww that's cute. Are you and your mom close?" I asked him, adjusting my legs so they were wrapped around his torso.
"Used to be." He said, as his palm gently glided along my arm.
"Why not anymore?" I asked him, playing with his hair.
"She's dead."