Snowflakes In Autumn (A Novella)

Nineteen

Faith sat on the fallen, crisp leaves between her father and sister, Noah leaning against a tree close enough to watch her, but far enough away to give her privacy.

It was a chillier day, though less so than it had been the day before. Faith doubted she would get a snowy response from her loved ones with the temperature. Autumn was a beautiful time of year in Wisconsin. The vibrant colors made the earth come alive, painting the world in shades of gold, red and orange. But the season was brief and soon snow would cover the ground and life would be peaceful.

Although she knew she loved winter once upon a time, it was no longer her favorite season. Maybe now that she'd returned, it would be once again. Maybe Noah would breathe life back into the season as he did with her.

"I'm sure you've both been watching the Young and the Restless version of my life. I swear, I tried so hard with mom. I did everything I could to get her to love me, but Noah's told me enough about her to help me realize that you can't force someone to love you. I've also learned that you can't choose who you love."

A tear fell on Faith's cheek and she wiped it away, knowing there'd be many more to come. "Hope, please don't hate me. I didn't mean to fall in love with him. Hell, I didn't even realize I was capable of it. But when he looks at me... I don't know how to explain it. I just feel all the things that were always missing from me. Love, passion, importance, strength. It's like he had all the missing pieces of me, and when I'm with him, I feel whole again, you know?"

It was an unnerving thought, feeling that way for another when she'd gone through life barely feeling a thing besides empty. The walls that should have kept her from that tumbled down the moment he walked into her life, painting her world with color and possibilities.

A calm overtook Faith as she wiped the remaining tears from her face. It was an explainable feeling, like nothing she'd experienced before. Somehow, some way, it felt like she was being watched over and everything surrounding her was safe.

"You don't hate me for falling in love with him, do you? Maybe you and dad joined forces to make this happen. You found me feeling alone on my twenty-first birthday and guided me back to Noah. Maybe even one of you told Noah I'd called after I hung up on him. As far-fetched at that would be, it wouldn't surprise me.

"I think I was always meant to be with him. I don't know what it is, but when he walked back into my life, I felt this pull. I tried to pretend it wasn't there for obvious reasons. Dennis said we were each other's light, and that Noah was lost without me, just like I was lost without him. I always thought soulmates and 'the one' was bullshit. How could two people in a world of billions be joined like that?"

Faith shook her head and ran her fingers through her hair, readjusting herself on the cold grass beneath her body. "I'm probably just getting ahead of myself. I mean, it's been a week, and we only just slept with each other yesterday. It's just weird feeling something this intense for anyone, let alone someone I barely know."

That wasn't the truth, however. Faith knew him. It hadn't only been a week, but a lifetime of her putting her life on hold for a man who'd only spoke four words to her in her dreams, without realizing he was the reason she couldn't move forward until she returned to this town; to him.

Memories of the two of them had been returning like a tidal wave when she laid in bed at night, or when he played with her hair while they watched the home movies. Faith would never remember it all, being too young for many of them, but enough to know and feel like he hadn't just been in her life for a single week. Noah had always been there, even in the years that separated them.

All the intimacy had done was build that remaining bridge between them, allowing them to both accept it was love.

Faith licked her lips and prepared to say her goodbyes for now. "I came here to let the two of you know that I'm happy. You had to watch me struggle just to get through each day for so long, but you don't have to do that anymore. I know that struggles don't just disappear after you find love, but I know that with Noah, I'll get through them. I'm where I'm meant to be with the person I'm meant to be with, and I don't feel nearly as lost. I have him and the two of you, and I'll be just fine."

Her eyes sought Noah, who pushed himself off of the tree and walked over to her when she gave him a small nod. When he lifted her from the ground, Faith placed a soft kiss against his lips, the warmth of his body radiating through her as he held her close.

She took his hand in hers and entwined their fingers as they walked out the cemetery. "I had a dream last night that I was in an antique store and woke up with this memory in the middle of the night. I was with you and my dad and you had to carry me to stop me from touching everything. I saw a ring in a case and told you that when you proposed, I wanted that ring and that I hoped it would still be there when I grew up."

Noah's eyes landed on hers and he tightened his grip on her hand, just a little. "It was about a month before the accident, and two months after your parents separated. Your dad was looking for some things to decorate his new place with. After almost breaking a crystal bowl, I had to carry you the rest of the time. You saw an old sapphire and diamond ring and fell in love with it and you said, "when you propose, can I have a ring just like that?" I told you that by the time you were old enough to get married, you would have probably found a man your own age and wouldn't love me anymore."

A small laugh escaped her lips, a trace of sadness beneath the surface. Although sixteen years was a sizeable difference, she hadn't found a man her own age and her heart had always belonged to him. "Something tells me it isn't there anymore."

"You asking me to marry you?" Noah said with a teasing voice, his body bumping against her own.

"No, I'm not proposing. I may love you, but I'm not crazy." Although Faith's life was on hold for years, too obsessed with the past to create a future, she also wasn't in a rush now that she was finally moving forward and decided to enjoy each moment as it came.

"Well, it isn't there anymore," Noah told her. "It's in the basement in a box under a bunch of photos."

Faith stopped walking and turned to face him, her lips parted but unsure of what to say.

When the words didn't come to her, Noah continued. "At the time, I was just trying to surround myself with things that reminded me of the family I lost. All I had were photos and videos and wanted something that belonged to you. Your mom took everything, so that was as close as I could get.

"I hadn't intended to propose with it, but when we crossed paths again, I would give it to you as a promise to always be there for you, even when I was old and you fell out of love, and always keep you safe."

Faith kissed him again, more passionately this time, and felt his free hand on the back of her neck, pulling her deeper. When their lips parted, she looked up at him with all the love in the world flowing into her eyes. "Can I have it?"

"When it's time for you to wear it in the way you wanted, you can have it for the rest of your life. But it's not that time, little snowflake. Not yet."