courtney miller imagines (gxg)

addicted

TW: alcohol addiction

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(y/n's pov)
i threw the bottle on the ground. it was my fourth one tonight and i didn't plan on stopping anytime soon. the bottle smashed and the glass went all over the floor. i told myself i'd stop, and i told myself there was other ways of numbing things. but it's too good, it numbs the pain better than anything else i had tried, and i loved the burn it leaves in the back of my throat. it's intoxicating.

i reached into the cooler on the floor and grabbed another bottle of alcohol. i used a corkscrew to open it and started to chug the liquid inside. the burn immediately came back into my throat and my vision went even more blurry. i drowsily smiled, just how i liked it.

as time passed i drank more and more. i don't know how much time passed, but it felt like centuries. i know it's bad for me and i know i could possibly die, but it's just too good, i don't care about the consequences. i hadn't touched my phone in hours as it was upstairs in my bedroom, and i was downstairs on the couch. even though i had heard it ring many times, i didn't get up to answer it as i feared i'd fall over and cause even more damage to myself.

i was beyond the point of healing, there was no helping me, i'm incurable and broken beyond belief.

my eyes looked up from the floor and wandered all around the room. it looked like a bomb had gone off. there was glass shards all over the floor, empty cups everywhere, pillows were all over the place and nothing was clean. how did i let myself stoop down this low? i mean i know i was in a dark place but still, i couldn't even keep my house looking decent.

i had finished the bottle which was currently in my hand so i threw it and once again, the bottle smashed, leaving glass shards to cover the bits of the floor which weren't already covered by them. just as if it was a routine, i turned back down to grab yet another bottle. this had to be at least my seventh...no, eighth? i don't even know anymore, i lost count at four.

just as i was about to use the corkscrew to open it, my front door flew open and courtney stood there, not aware what was going on.

"i'm sorry for barging in but everyone's been trying to ring you and haven't been able to get ahold of you and we were all worried sick so i came here and your door was open so i just opened it and-" she finally realised what was happening before her and her hand shot up to cover her mouth, "y/n, oh my god."

she rushed over to me, carefully stepping over the glass shards, and sat next to me on the couch. she gently took the bottle out of my hand and put it on the table. well, the only space she could find on the table. she then held my slightly trembling hands and looked up at me.

"you told me you'd stopped for good...why would you...?" she looked so hurt and disappointed and i could only blame myself for that. i started to tear up a little and looked down.

"i'm sorry i-", i hiccuped, "i don't know, i-i missed it, i missed the feeling of being numb and not having to worry about anything, i missed-" i heard a quiet sniffle so i looked up and saw her silently crying. my face softened and my heart broke. is this the impact my drinking had on other people?

she noticed me looking at her so she quickly let go of my hands and wiped away her tears and tried to put on a brave face.

"come here." her arms were outstretched, offering me her warm embrace. i moved over towards her and crawled into her arms. my head was in the crook of her neck and her arms were around my back, rubbing gentle circles on it. this was enough to set me off and i burst into tears and clung onto her body tighter.

"shh, it's okay, you're okay, i'm here." she carried on rubbing circles on my back and gently rocked our bodies slowly back and forth, as if i was a baby and she was trying to get me to sleep.

her body then fell backwards onto the couch so i was laying on top of her, with her arms staying around me the whole time. she quietly sighed then spoke up calmly.

"i know you probably won't remember this tomorrow, but i'll help you clean everything up and we can have a talk about this, okay? and i'm not disappointed with you, don't worry." she whispered in my ear and i just nodded. at this point my tears were slowing down and i was calming down. one of her hands trailed up my back and started to play with the baby hairs on the back of my neck.

after what seemed like forever, my eyes seemed to get droopy and i was falling unconscious, just like an intoxicated person would. soon enough, my eyes completely shut and that was the last thing i could remember doing before falling asleep.

(courtney's pov)
"y/n, are you awake?"

no response. she was still breathing, so i'm hoping she's just asleep.

i looked around the room as best i could and from what i could see, it was a mess. everything was all over the place and almost nothing was clean. i promised myself that i would help her clean this tomorrow, so that's what i'll do.

i need to ask her if she'll go and get a therapist or go to rehab. i won't force her, but it's for the best. her breath smelt like pure alcohol and so did everything else, it isn't healthy.

instead of possibly waking her up by picking her up and taking her upstairs to her bedroom, i stayed where i was instead and let y/n rest, she needed it. i'd probably smell like alcohol tomorrow but it didn't matter, i was just thankful that she's okay.

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sorry about the slow updates, i'll try to upload quicker. i was just kinda busy with school work.
-katie🖤
word count: 1081 words.