Dagger in the Heart

Prologue

I always knew that the world was unfair but never thought that it would be that much unfair. I did everything I could, maybe more than I could and gave everything to him more than I had.

I, who never knew of lowering pride, begged him until I had nothing left of my pride. I loved him to the point that I lost myself. I used every means to protect our family but was seen as a villain by him.

Because of my protective ways, I received more hatred from him and he took away my baby and gave him to her, the one who tore my life into pieces. And he expected me to be okay with his decision.

He blamed me for everything as if I had freedom to choose in my life. My life had been planned by everyone except me since I came to this world just because I was born from the Wei household.

I was engaged to him even before I learnt how to speak and walk because the Emperor wanted to tie relationship with the Wei. To be worthy of his bride, I had to learn how to play Qin, how to recite poems, how to dance, how to sing, and everything young mistress from the noble household had to learn. And I also learned military strategies even though I didn't have much time because I wanted to help him in his way of ascending the throne.

It did not matter how tiring these things were, as long as I got praises from him, I tried even harder to be more perfect. Back then, I did not realise they were  half-hearted and he was forced to say them by the Emperor.  

I wished I knew the praises did not come from his heart earlier. I wished I accepted that he would never love me earlier. I wished I knew that I was just an abandoned Empress earlier.

I wished I accepted the fact that no matter how much I tried my best I was nothing compared to her earlier. I wished I knew that no matter how much I did everything for him, I could be easily replaceable.

If I realised them earlier, maybe my life would be different from the current life. Maybe I, the empress, would not be drinking this poison bestowed by him because I hurt his beloved. I would have there for my baby at every stage of his life teaching him everything I knew.

But it is too late now. Nothing can be changed. Now that this is final moment of my life, I find it hilarious that I don't feel anything except emptiness.

Maybe it was a wishful thinking but I wish I had a second chance at life. If ever I had a chance to rebirth, I promised myself that I would live a completely different life, love myself and my baby more, and find someone who would love me, spend time with me, and most of all who believe in me.