Dagger in the Heart

Chaptet 2

After six months of commotion, I come to this world. It is like I am bad luck to my own family. My mother had to suffer half a day before she gave birth to me. Not only that, during pregnancy, her health also wasn't that much good. She couldn't sleep well, nor eat well. Part of the reason may be because my parents were worried that the child would be a son.

Even though they agreed to the Emperor, they are still parents. They still don't want their child to be suffered. So, they had been praying for their child to be a girl during the whole six months of pregnancy. My parents said this was the punishment that Heaven gave them because they used their child for their gain.

Together with this unfulfilled wish, my mother's delayed delivery and scream make my father anxious, and my brother is trying hard not to cry outside the room. Like this, I am giving them enough pain even before I am born. I wished I knew these pains earlier. Maybe if I realised them before everything was too late, I could have changed the destiny of our family. I understood them only after I gave birth to my baby.

That's why there is a saying that we can never understand someone else's pain unless we feel them by ourselves. We may think we know their pain, but it is just an illustration we create to make us feel better. After all, we would rather play pretend as a hero who sympathise with others than an unsympathetic villain.

The royal family has their fair share of the nightmare too. The Emperor also worried about the gender of the child even though he was the one who started this whole engagement thing. Because he certainly doesn't want to give the Crown Princess title to a male. The ones who felt extremely distress would be the Empress and the Crown Prince, Wang Chen.

How could a mother want their son to marry another male especially her son is picture-perfect in her eye? And as for arrogant Crown Prince, he doesn't want to be a laughing stock for the public. I am glad that I was born a male. Since they made my life a living hell, they should be miserable at least one-third of my sufferings.

After 12 hours, I came into this world with bloody crying. As soon as my mother ensured I was born, she passed out. When the midwife saw my gender, they also realised the incoming storm. But it is not their problem, so they just cleaned me and took me to my waiting father. The midwife said

"General, the child is born. But the Mistress is sleeping due to exhaustion."

My father asked, " Is this child a daughter?"

Although the midwife clearly knows the answer, she doesn't know how to word them. She doesn't want to be the end recipient of the anger of the child not being a daughter.

But my father knows after seeing the expression of the midwife. My father responded, "Put the child on the bed. You can go now."

The general, who fought thousands of enemies, cannot muster enough courage to face his minutes-old son due to his guilt. He stared into the dark thinking everything, at the same time, nothing. Only after I cried because of hunger, my father remembered me. My father picked me up and said

"This father is sorry for everything. It's okay if you don't forgive us. I understand. We deserve all of your hatred for forcing you marry to the Crown Prince while knowing your life will not be easy. But as a family member of the Wei clan, sometimes we have to choose decisions that benefit the clan as a whole. Especially if we are the head of the clan, we are more responsible for making the clan more influential than the other three families.

And remember nothing in this world is free. To gain something, we have to lose something which has the same value. So, we have to pay for the price of obtaining more authority. And you unluckily become the price. But to compensate for being the incapable father, I promise the Wang clan will always give strength only to you, and we, your mother, and I will make sure your days in Wang Mansion never suffer."

After saying this, my father took me to my wet nurse. If I could speak at that time, I would have said

"I understand your situation and responsibility in the clan. And thank you for being loving parents. But it doesn't mean I forgive you completely. There is still a part of me blaming you for deciding my fate like this. That part expected you to love me more than the clan and chose me instead. And that part also wanted you to see me simply as your child than the tool you can use in achieving power. After all, children are born to be loved by their parents, not to be used."

The palace also received the news as soon as I was born. The news made their nightmare come true. After the Crown Prince had received the news, he smashed everything he saw. So, everywhere in the Crown Prince courtyard is a disaster. Now, his life is already sealed to marry a male. On top of that, he cannot give the one he loves the Empress title. This further makes him hate me more. Only after the next day, the Empress came to the Crown Prince's courtyard and said

"Crown Prince, this mother knows how you are feeling. This mother feels the same amount of pain, maybe more as I am your mother. That's why I didn't come to you yesterday. But bear in mind that you're the Crown Prince of this Wang country. Everyone is watching you at every second. They are always trying to find mistakes of you. Once they find your fault even if it is small, they will use it to overthrow you. This mother believes that you still want to become the next Emperor. So, this mother thinks you should stop showing this kind of behaviours. Do you think this impulsive behaviour lessens the disgrace?"

The Crown Prince answered, "No, mother Empress."

The Empress responded, "This mother is happy that the Crown Prince understands this fact. And this mother wants to give the Crown Prince two pieces of advice; first is if you want to be a strong Emperor, be calm and collected. Only if your mind is at peace, you can find answers to your questions which are not clouded by the anger. 

And the second is to put all your pains and humiliation in your heart instead of showing them. You will forget them if you act out. Because by expressing them physically, you already get the relief from them. So, put them in your heart and then always remember and suffer them. It may seem cruel to you, but only the strong people knows the true pains. So, if you determines to be powerful, do not forget these two advice.

Now, this mother wants the Crown Prince to take out the most valuable thing in the courtyard of the Crown Prince."

The Crown Prince asked, "Can I know the reason Mother Empress?"

The Empress said "To give it to your future Crown Princess. Since he has already come to this world, naturally, as the future husband, you have to go see him and give him an invaluable gift. You have to display your sincerity to your future-in-laws, the great general of the country. Remember the general is desired to be a 'father'."

The Crown Prince replied, "Yes, this son understands."

A/N: Thank you for reading. And it would be really appreciated if you comment  how do you feel about this story.