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"be careful when you pray for help. because when you pray to God, the Devil hears you too."
— Ajinkya Bhasme —
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[ 3RD PERSONS VIEW。]
2015.
The Choi's once-happy family had turned upside down. With the rumors going around like wildfire, they knew they had to deal with it differently now, and both agreed to it.
For the good of Haruka and Haruki, they decided to separate both of them apart, but what they didn't know was they really needed each other.
They were each other's half, yet their parents didn't quite understand stand that.
Eventually, Hyosun had developed a mental illness. Haruki made sure to check in her mother always, knowing how bad her mother's condition could get.
Hyosun would always stumble back, heart rate increasing the more it flashed into her mind. The thought of losing Haruki frightened her — Haruka's words frightened her.
She did everything, even going far as being able to forget Haruka's existence. It was like Haruka to her was a delusion, a warning of some sort and that made her worse.
The more it flickered into her mind, the more she grew anxious about Haruki's life. She began to take away little bits of her freedom, wanting her as safe as possible and away from any sort of trouble.
Haruki had tried opening about Haruka, only for the conversation to lead nowhere. To Hyosun, Haruka was no longer seen as her daughter, she was nothing, she didn't exist. Due to Hyosun overthinking about the situation — it had to lead her to this.
All she did was create dolls like she used to, but it was different. This Hyosun was different. She treated her dolls with care as if they were her daughters as if they were to die the following day.
"Mom–" snapping out of her trance, she gazed at Haruki who had been calling her for at least twenty times now. "Are you okay?" her daughter questioned, concern lacing all over her tone.
Hyosun sent her an assuring smile despite the thoughts that surged in her mind. "Don't leave me, Haruki."
Haruki frowned deeply, "I won't leave you... you know that."
Hyosun gleamed down, a bitter smile now replacing the one before, "I love you so much. I don't want you to go away."
Haruki reached out to hold her mother's hand, "I love you, too. I won't be going anywhere."
August 30, 2017.
Paranoia.
The more irrationally anxious she got over Haruki, the more she suffocated her daughter.
It was getting to her—Haruka's words. It was eating her up until nothing was left of her.
Just a month ago, there had been reporting about a killer out to hunt kids and teenagers, it scared Hyosun so much that she had set Haruki curfews, reminding her to be careful with the people she mingled and talked with.
She was even losing trust in Haruki's friends, believing that they could possibly a nuisance and would only bring trouble to Haruki.
Hyosun forbids Haruki from hanging out with them – although the girl found ways around her mother's order. Hyosun's reason was simple, what if they took you away from me? What if they hurt you? What if they manipulated you into leaving me?
It was always the same thing.
What if she leaves me. That was what she was afraid of and Haruki noticed that.
The thirtieth of August, that was the day, the day she had decided that she would end everything.
No more being paranoid over Haruki's life. No more locking herself up in her room. No more of getting scared at Haruka's constant words. And absolutely no more of Choi Hyosun.
The next day, Haruki screamed, bawling her eyes out, waking up, and finding her mother dead after poisoning herself was painful.
She didn't saw it coming and she hated herself for not being able to help her mother.
— • • • —
Hyosun reopens her eyes, seeing herself in a large area with the ground nothing but sand and water that pooled just by her ankles.
Looking around, it was like a paradise, an empty paradise to resort herself in. It was weird, she didn't feel pain. No weight on her shoulders, no anxious feeling growing up on her, no thoughts pounding in her mind nonstop.
"You've finally let go, mom."
Flinching, Hyosun turned around after hearing Haruki's voice, but there was no one there.
"Haruki...?" she croaked out, unsure.
"You've finally let go..."
Hyosun looks back to what she saw awhile ago, a summary of what happened with her life, right, she wished to restart it. To make things okay with Haruka, but she failed to do so, again.
"Haruka hates me... I'm such a horrible mother!" she bitterly chuckled, shaking her head.
"No, mom. That's what you thought, but Haruka knows. She loves you, the real you."
"I want to hug her... to say sorry to her... to tell her I love her so much– I never got to do that because of how selfish I was." Hyosun sniffed, looking up to see the beautiful purple skies.
"I acted differently... I thought it was the only way."
"How foolish of me to think that it was the only way." she chuckled bitterly, "I hope Haruka's doing well now."
"She is, mom. She will." Haruki's voice slowly faded away and Hyosun was brought back to a black world.
The wind was never-ending. Strongly gushing her whole body, a refreshing feeling running in her as she looked up at the dark skies.
"Goodbye, Haruka... I love you and I'm sorry," she whispered into thin air. Hearing the sorrowful piano replaying in her mind, her lips curved up into a little smile. "You play so beautifully, please don't stop playing the piano."
Slowly, her eyes dipped close, "I hate myself for treating you horribly." as the wind blew, it took her with the breeze, leaving nothing but the memories.
— • • • — damn I would be lying if I said I didn't shed a tear 😪
