Ch 4: Lone Wolves

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You continue conditioning your hair as you remember the events of the day, grateful for the hot water and the solitude. You're stuck at the compound now, with The avengers close by and a tracker in your thigh.

How the hell are we going to get out of this one?

You throw your head back letting the hot water wash over you. Even if it is a prison it's the safest you felt in a long time. Bucky's scent still lingered in your nostrils. You remember waking up to him on the couch. The heat from his body as you ran your fingers over him. An ache grew in your belly.

You used to think about him all the time back when you were at Hydra. Every time he walked through the door your heart jumped through your chest. He was different than the other agents. He was beautiful the way wild animals were beautiful. All you  wanted to do was touch them but knew it had consequences.

He was a small reprieve from that hell

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He was a small reprieve from that hell. But you had more to kill. Others who needed to be accountable for what happened to your family. The man who carried out the threat, the man who took your family from you. And no matter how much you wanted to touch Bucky again, you had to do what you had to do. Even if you have to go through the Winter Soldier.

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Bucky sat in his room thinking about (y/n). He remembered all the times he walked into that room. He remembered watching you from downcast eyes. He remembered wanting to save you and knowing he couldn't. Knowing that he couldn't even save himself then.

Gone and back, gone and back, over and over.

He understood the pain and he understood wanting revenge. But he knew it would destroy you. He knew it was already destroying you. He knew you deserved better. But he didn't know how to help you.

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