Six of One, Half a Dozen of the Other

(12) What is my heart doing?

The gunk oozed down him, covering Andy. The vulnerability was overwhelming, he felt cornered. The laughing screeched through the treeline, razor-sharp and ripping at him. It tore through his ears. It was crippling, but he was not going to cry. He had his pride. He was NOT going to cry. Scrunching up his face and clasping his hands over his ears he felt his body tremor in fear- he was a mouse amongst lions. He was so absorbed in his head and in his fear that he didn't feel the old hand of the caretaker rest on his shoulder and feel himself getting lowered down onto the ground.

His teammates- all of whom were shaking the hands of the football guys in respect. Irritated but laughing as they tried to smear them in the foul gunk. Nobody noticed that Andy was missing. Curled up on the floor reminding himself that is was okay and he was not back with the fourth house. That he was not back with Mr. Davies and that the feeling of fear was all in his head.

The world continues without him, and nobody saw how the turning was crushing him. Andy began to scrape at his arm- attempting to pull himself out of his trauma, he felt the skin break but kept going. He had to feel something other than the terror, the feeling of aloneness that had consumed him. But he couldn't stop the influx of memories.

Flashback...

Mr Davies loomed over him. "You were late on delivery- lost me some money, how am I going to get that back-this client was a huge part of the company. You're not even sorry are you!?"

"No sir! I am so sorry" Andy whimpered on the floor. He knew the thing coming was going to be horrific. The biggest secret he kept was the tally marks drawn on his back by his fourth home, a permanent impact on him, each line for a mess-up. Each line dangerously deep and forming a nasty and prominent scar. Mr Davies drew out his knife and turned the pale body over before carving his line. Andy tensed and felt his breathing becoming short and th-

"Hey..are you okay..?" a bronzed face with chocolate eyes laced with concern looked down at him. It took Andy a minute to realize that not only had this person brought him out of one of his flashbacks but that person was his fiend Rye Beaumont. He was not wholly sure what was the thing that surprised him most out of these two things.

Uncurling himself from his foetal position And opened his eyes and was hit by the pain of the scratching that had occurred to his arm, but himself apparently. Making sure he was back he scanned his surroundings for Davies and when he did not find him he put his hand on his back to see if there was a fresh cut. He was never sure if he was completely back from one of his episodes, dissociations stopped and ANdy felt like he was able to breathe again. The fact remained that Rye had managed to get him out of his moment, which was surprising.

He finally made eye contact with the brunette, the worry etched all over his face- and for a moment the world stood still and allowed them to have their moment- serene and quiet. Before this was broken by his team coming over- probably to tell Andy how badly they wanted the other team to suffer in response to their prank. Andy did not want to do anymore. He felt the strange comfort of being in the arms of the enemy. How cliche.

Sam immediately noticed that Andy was not okay, and he swallowed his pride and turned to the football team- shaking hands with Ben, and congratulated them on winning- there was no way that they could pull of something quite so evilly good. a wave of confusion swept the two teams before the rest of the hockey team realised how badly their captain had been affected and shook hands with their respective competitors. The football boys moved away and began to give each other high fives and celebrate another victory. Andy was not mad that it had been cancelled, he had no taste for revenge after that experience, and seeing the football boys walk away was not an issue.

But they had not all walked away.

Rye was still holding And's head

and Andy did not want him to let go.

Awkwardly Rye shifted Andy's head off his lap and rubbed the back of his own head, "I hope you're okay man, I put my number in your pocket because I'll tell you what was in the gunk so you can try to get out the smell" And he scurried, yes, scurried away. Like a terrier with his tail between his legs.

Andy stood up and reached into his pocket noticing the note was a number, but it was accompanied by two kisses. They gave him butterflies, Andy had never felt so emotionally vulnerable as he had felt sound Rye just them. And he did not mind it. He liked the feeling of closeness.

Looking up he saw a mixture of concern and winks from his team, he smiled at the goofy idiots on his team- these people were his family, they did not hesitate to have his back when he was weak and vulnerable- so much so that they cancelled their own turn at the prank for him, and being the intuitive idiots they are, they saw the looks and awkwardness between him and Rye and did not mind. He was grateful for his team and family.

But now he wanted Sue to arrive so he could be cradled for a bit and told he was safe and assured Davies was in prison. Fatigue swept across him- even though it was morning- feeling trapped takes it out of him, and feeling... things for someone he shouldn't was draining. He needed time for his feelings and to re-charge.

After phoning Sue and telling her about the events and what they had triggered Sue hung up and arrived at his school in 15 mins, after telling her boss she had to leave. Everyone needs someone like Sue. ANdy was just grateful he had finally found someone like her. Curled up in the passenger seat with a rug over him, head against the window and the occasional pat from Sue in the comfort he was safe. Not safe from the thoughts of Rye that swarmed his thoughts.

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HIIIIIIII long time no see- I've been struggling with my mental health tbh- reached a milestone I'll not go deeply into today because it may trigger some of you! But the comments and pride in myself made me want to do a nice chapter for all of you amazing people who have got this story up to 1.2K reads. apologies for the sad nature of this- most of my books have a sad undertone because it is how I like to express myself and my emotions- good advice I got from my councillor overtime. It's important for me to channel these somewhere productive because negative channelling was the reason I even have a milestone today! Message me whenever you need it- on here or on my Instagram- @roadierandywattpad

<3

please look after yourselves

till next time

B x