I'll kill you.. | Ghost Bakugou AU

No control

Katsuki pov

After I disappeared, I went to see my mom. I found her in her house in her room looking at photos of me as she cried. "Mom..." I sat down beside her, and rubbed her back, which seemed to calm her. She was confused as she looked around, her cheeks tear stained. I hugged her and she managed to see me. She just stared at me in shock. "Katsuki..." I let go and looked at her for a moment. I quickly bit my lip, and looked away at my hands, ashamed that I had died the way I did. I had slight slime tears in my eyes. She looked at how upset I was. "Katsuki.. what's wrong..?" I sighed. "It's.. nothing..." My mom looked at me gently, while I was trying not to cry. "Katsuki..please.. tell me...I missed you..." I puffed out my cheeks. "Okay..I..I'm ashamed of how I died..I tried to kill Izuku multiple times..and..and..exorcists tried to get rid of me..it...it hurt.. pieces from my body were actually crumbling off of me.. Izuku put me back together and helped me..even though I tried to kill him..I..I couldn't control myself.. I hate it..I hate myself for what I did.." Slime dripped from my eyes, as I sniffled, wiping them. My mom's eyes widened. "Katsuki.." I looked at her, biting my lip. I had the urge to kill Izuku not knowing why. "M-mom..I have to go..deal with something...do you by chance...have.. nevermind.." "Wait! Katsuki what is it?" I looked at her standing up. Her next reaction was complete confusion. " Do...you have durable..chains..? I need to be held back..right. Now.. that's why I need to go..So I don't hurt anyone.." Mom nodded. "Follow me sweetie.." I knew that she hated the idea..but she was willing. She brought me to a room I had never even known about with chains connected to the cement floor, and a cushion. I sat down on the cushion, as my mom chained my wrists behind my back, and my ankles. "Thanks..make sure Izuku knows where I am. You should go before I start going mad. Whatever you do.. don't let me out.." Mom nodded and left going out of the steel door, and locked it with a key. A few hours later, I had somehow fallen asleep, sitting up. I was hunched over slime dripping out of my mouth. Eventually, Izuku came by, and looked through the small window on his tippy toes. He opened the door and walked in, sitting beside me, watching as I slept. Another half hour passed before I woke up lifting my head and opened my eyes. Izuku was dozed out, probably lost in thought. I scooted as far away from him as I could. He looked at me. "Why did you move away from me?" I sighed. "I don't want to hurt you. I have this... unconscious feeling..the urge to kill you..I.. can't control it..I'm trying to protect you from myself..I don't get it..you help me even though I tried to kill you.. It's torture..I'm not alive...I don't have my phisical body....but it still hurts..this burning hatred..that I shouldn't have... that's why I asked to be restrained.." I looked away in shame before shaking my head aggressively. I squeezed my hands into fists, as I suddenly started struggling to get out of the chains. I looked at Izuku with a single slime tear escaping my eye. "Izuku..stay...away..I can't..control it.. don't..listen..to.. anything I...say.." Izuku nodded backing up to the opposite wall looking at me. I floated up to my feet, and tried escaping, trying to attack Izuku. "I HATE YOU IZUKU!! YOU'RE JUST A STUPID, USELESS DEKU! I WISH I HAD NEVER MET YOU!! I WANT TO KILL YOU!! YOU LET ME DIE!! ALL YOU DID WAS WATCH!! YOU NEVER GAVE A SHIT DID YOU!? YOU LIED! YOU SAID YOU WOULD PROTECT ME!! I NEEDED YOU AND YOU LEFT ME!! I DIED BECAUSE OF YOU!! I HATE YOU! I HATE MYSELF!! I JUST WANT TO DISAPPEAR!!

After that...I passed out, crying.

I woke up with a pillow under my head. Izuku was looking at me. I opened my eyes, and had instant fear on what Izuku was going to say to me. I bit my lip and looked up at Izuku obviously feeling bad and guilty. I looked back down at my chained ankles. My voice was barely a whisper. "You probably hate me after what I said..even if I can't control it.. it's still not okay..." Mom was in the corner looking at the 10 photo albums she had beside her. I turned to my other side, away from Izuku, staring at the wall. I bit my lip, wanting to turn invisible, but I knew I couldn't. The chains restricted that from happening. I have never felt this amount of guilt before. I curled up into a ball, waiting for myself to cry. Izuku spoke up before I could cry. "Kacchan..no, no, no, no, no..I could never hate you...it was painful hearing what you said...but..it didn't really affect me because I knew that you didn't mean it..." I took a deep breath. "But I don't even know why I'm here...as..this..when I was back..the thought that filled my mind is to kill you..make you feel what I felt when I died..but...I didn't want to..I wanted to let you live..if you died by my hands...I could never deal with it..I want to disappear and not feel this anymore....it...it hurts...The glass is still there... scratching my throat..it hurts...I can't die a second time..but I wish I could..I just want to escape..what even is my purpose of being back..? I never made friends...not real friends anyway..I was bullied. I was drowned. I was choked. I attempted dying before..the quicker way. I want to delete myself from this world...but I don't know how..! I was fucking forced to bully you! They had knives and threatened me..! I had to..and I always thought that I was to be hated..! I was bullied to the point that I had seizures and choked on my own spit, almost dying each time..I wish one of them did! I couldn't breathe!!" Izuku looked at me with a shocked expression. I looked at my hands suddenly feeling sick. I leaned over and gagged. Izuku freaked out. "Are you okay Kacchan!?" I shook my head and threw up slime. Glass came out with it. It immediately disappeared, as I continued. It was the same sickly green color, with dirt, blood, and glass. When I was done, I fell over on my back. I was in pain, but couldn't react. When I was better I decided to make my final decision in this world. I looked at Izuku. "I want to be exercised."