A Summer To Remember

Again

The water was warm and dark. I couldn't see my torso in the water. I kicked my legs and let the water pull me onto my back. The sun was hidden behind clouds but it was still nice and warm.

The water moved slowly under me, taking away all the tension in my shoulders. I couldn't have been more content.

Suddenly, something started pulling on my right hand. Then my legs. My body was being pulled under the water and I couldn't fight hard enough to stay above.

The water was consuming. I couldn't breathe or see. My limbs were rock hard and no matter how hard I fought, I couldn't move them. And the force that was pulling me under the water, just kept pulling harder and harder until the darkness consumed me.

I sat up in bed, gasping for air. The clock beside the bed read 2:19 am. I had to be up around 7 for my doctor's appointment. I was finally getting prosthetics and needed to learn how to use them. Physical therapy was annoying but I couldn't get out of it if I wanted to walk again.

I wiped the sweat from my face then tossed the blanket off. My legs were still gone. My hand was still gone. I was still just a piece of what I used to be. Of who I used to be.

I pulled myself into my chair and managed to get to the bathroom. Staring at the tub, I realized I couldn't bear the thought of getting in any body of water. My mouth went dry just at the sight of the off-white tub.

I ignored it and wet a towel. I rubbed the back of my neck, trying to take away the sweat that came with my nightmare. I pulled my t-shirt off and tossed it in the hamper, almost missing. I never had been good at using my left hand but I was getting better with each day that passed.

I went back to my room and climbed into bed. I wanted to call Jade but I knew she was asleep. Most of the time she fell asleep during our video calls and left me to watch her as she snored. It was cute but I didn't want to bother her so early in the morning.

I opened up my text app and saw all the missed messages from old friends, numbers I didn't recognize, and people who never gave me a chance when my life was normal. Everyone was so apologetic, as if they caused me to lose my limbs.

There was a reason I didn't look at them. I wanted to believe they cared but I knew that wasn't the case. They wanted to make themselves look good, better. They wanted to show that they weren't bad people so they sent me some fake ass apology about how sorry they am that this happened to me. No one really care because it didn't happen to them.

I couldn't blame them. If the same thing had happened to a kid I didn't know, I wouldn't have batted an eye. I wouldn't have sent some text or stopped him in the hallway. I would have been glad it wasn't me and continued my life as normal.

Maybe I truly needed a reality check. Maybe I was in the wrong crowd and with people who didn't have true feelings. Who didn't care what bad things happened as long as it wasn't affecting them. Maybe my accident was something I was meant to go through to change me and make me a better person.

Which got me thinking... If I hadn't been in my accident but still met Jade, would I have been attracted to her? Would I have talked to her so freely? She was perfect in every way yet I knew I was a dick and wouldn't have seen anything but her missing arm. It made me sick to think I used to act and think that way.

I put my phone under my pillow and rolled onto my back. My legs didn't hurt and I didn't feel any sensation of what I used to have below my knees. I could feel it in my hand, though. The scars itched and gave me an empty feeling whenever I pulled my sleeve back and saw my hand gone. It was an odd feeling, that was for sure.

I was starting to realize I wasn't angry about the accident. My football season was over and any chance I had of playing was running slim. If I truly wanted to get back out there, I had to work hard and practice all the time. It would be a lot of work but I knew I'd be able to handle it.

My eyes slowly drooped and I let myself fall asleep, just waiting to get my prosthetics and begin my life again.