First Steps [ON HOLD]

The Road Ahead

Recap

"One day you will become a fearless leader, but until that day comes be a fearful friend."

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Seven boys shuffled into the apartment a little after three in the afternoon. Shoes were kicked off and thrown in a pile as they dug around for their own pairs of slippers in the mess by the entryway.

The house was quiet and all the lights were off, in stark contrast to the usual hustle and bustle of the eight young men who lived here. Hongjoong called out for Seonghwa but heard no response. Tiptoeing down the hall into the main living area he saw nothing but a few items scattered about. The boy continued his search right down the next hallway until he reached the only bedroom with the door closed. The door creaked as he stepped inside. He threw his coat on a pile of laundry and turned on the lamp in corner of the dark room. A low groan could be heard from within a mess of blankets on Joong's bottom bunk.

Hongjoong padded over to the bed and sat down by Seonghwa's feet. The boy eyed the little girl sleeping peacefully on the mattress, held by one arm peaking out of the blanket. She was curled into it with one hand balled into the blanket, the other wrapped around one long figure.

He reached down the bed and touched the hand that surrounded Haebitna. As it retracted into the blanket, Joong gently picked the baby up and settled her into his arms. They blinked at each other and she yawned closing her eyes fully again. Giving Seonghwa one last glance, he stepped outside the room and called for Yunho.

The tall, puppy-like boy came barreling down the hallway. "Yes, hyung?" He whispered when he saw the sleeping child. Hongjoong held out his arms, baby snug within, to the man standing in front of him. Yunho reached for her and scooped her into his own. With one arm wrapped around her, he brought the other up to her soft head and caressed the fuzzy hairs. "Hyung, she's so innocent. How could anybody give her up?"

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Hongjoong walked quietly down the hallway, away from two boys — one that held his heart of gold, another that held the most precious treasure in the world. His mind ran left and right, Yunho's words bouncing around, making him dizzy.

He turned sharply into the bathroom and closed the door. Running cold water, Hongjoong splashed his face. How could anybody give her up? Another splash. The water ran down his face and pooled on his chin before dripping into the basin.

Joong wiped his chin with his hand and slid down the door. His stomach bubbled and swirled until he felt like he would explode. His head pounded in a deep pulsing motion, each time feeling like he was hit with a 10 pound weight. Pictures of his members, of the little girl flashed through his memory as he broke.

But all of that was interrupted by one knock. "Joong, I know you're in there." Seonghwa leaned against the other side of the door, pressing his hand to the cool, glossy wood. "Come out when you're ready. Or do you want me to come in?"

Seonghwa sat down, not expecting a response. Hongjoong did best when he handled this alone. He would come out when he's ready.

Hongjoong was the strongest person he knew. Ambitious and wise, he spoke his mind. They complemented each other well. Seonghwa was soft spoken and kind when Hongjoong was firm, Hongjoong was strong-willed and driven where Seonghwa saw uncertainty.  They were true cara anama.

And still to this day, Seonghwa remained the only person to this day to have witnessed one of Hongjoong's panic attacks. The poor young man that gave everything, his whole life for this work that may or may not go anywhere, was even too afraid to break in front of others. The world would come crumbling down around him, his brain told him. Suggestions of medication and therapy were tossed aside, not given a second glance or passing mention. Seonghwa would remain the only person, the only thing he trusted.

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After minutes or hours, neither boy was sure, the door clicked open and Seonghwa moved before he fell flat on his back. The leader peaked from behind the door before taking a full step out. He reached down for the taller boy and flung his arms around his waist.

Hwa dragged his friend back to their bedroom and they sat down by the window. Seonghwa rested his head against the polished glass as Hongjoong settled himself on the floor between his legs. They sat like this together on several occasions sometimes working, listening, recording and other times relaxing in each other's soothing presence. 

The smaller boy took a deep breath and settled against the older boy. "How was your day, Hwa?"

Seonghwa closed his eyes and recalled the slow events of the morning. For being his first time taking care of a baby, Seonghwa thought he was kind of a pro already. He had successfully fed himself and the girl, burped her and changed her diaper. Besides the casualties of his sweater that got spit up on and his blanket that he spilled half a bottle on, nothing had gone seriously wrong yet.

"I think I know why I got sick. I found the container from the food I ate as a midnight snack." Hongjoong glanced at him. "Food poisoning, it expired a month ago," the younger chuckled into his wrists held in front of his face.
"Hey don't laugh at me," he jokingly nudged his friend with his head and pouted, "You go throw up and be nauseous. See how that feels."

Hongjoong sighed, "I'll have Wooyoung and Mingi go through the fridge after dinner."

The two boys chatted about their day until Hongjoong's breathing finally slowed and his heart stopped playing jump rope. A peaceful silence fell between them once again. Hongjoong turned his head towards the window and smiled. After days of rain, the sky finally cleared and the sun shone with relaxing warmth.

"How was Haebitna today?" The younger boy tilted his head to look at his friend. "Hongjoong, she's the smallest most innocent thing. All she did was sleep and eat but still, I think I love her." Seonghwa felt tears welling in his eyes. "I don't think I could give her up if you made me."

The words settled between them. "What if I didn't make you?"

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this didn't exactly turn out how I intended
oh well (._.)

I hope you enjoyed!
xx babybaby

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this story is by no means done but I would
like to start prepping my next story

let me know which of these interest you :)