Just Friends

Chapter One - The End

I can’t describe the feeling of dread, excitement, and impure thrill that comes with starting anew. It would be impossible for me to use the English language to imbue sheer anticipation into words - yet I feel like this new beginning is something that I have to convey. Okay, yes, I’m just being melodramatic at this point. It is the first day of being alone; living on my own without parents to guide me (or restrict me) and being just far enough away to prevent even my best friends to venture out and visit me. I am starting college today. It’s a weird feeling, but I’m excited to see what the day holds. I suppose I won’t be staying at school alone, though. I’ll make new friends and I’ll hopefully enjoy my time with my roommate, though him I have yet to meet.

I sat on the blank mattress and looked at my large, blue suitcases in contempt. I had yet to unpack and it was not the most exciting thing to look forward to. I did, however, quickly assemble my computer on the incredibly small work area and attempt to connect to the wifi network. The password was so cleverly named “cardinal,” for the Stanford Cardinals. I’m sure that the tech company which set up the wifi for the school was incredibly concerned about data protection. I pulled up my favorite websites and began to update my Facebook status when I heard a knock at the door.

“Just a moment,” I called to the unknown visitor who I can only assume to be my roommate. I finished punching out the last few words of my status: “James Ryan: Missing home already - moved into Stanford, California!”, walked over to the door, and opened it, the hinges giving a squeak. Actually, I very well may have been the source of the squeal as I saw the face of my roommate revealed. His black hair was just long enough on the side to caress the bottom of his ears and his bangs were ever so perfectly tossed to the right with a hint of messiness. His blue eyes and perfectly defined chin and cheekbones only helped to exaggerate his muscular neck and perfect, toned body. I did not think I would make it through the entire semester, let alone a week when being distracted by this deity on earth in my bedroom.

“Hey there, uh, James?” he said - voice smooth as silk.

My vocal chords failed me as I stood agape for several seconds before responding, “uh, right, uh, yeah. You’re Gavin, then? Come on in.”

We stood in silence as he entered the doorway, brushing his shoulders by me as I shuddered from desire. “I guess we should start getting to know each other, then,” he gave me a grin over his shoulder as he started to unpack his bags, “these suitcases are yours?”

“Yeah, they're mine, I only got here 30 minutes ago - just shove them to the side for now” I muttered. I was completely distracted by him. I simply sat down at my computer and continued browsing Facebook while he started humming and unpacking his belongings. One comment read: “Tell us once you’ve met the guy of your dreams okay?” I laughed to myself before I could think about the consequences of doing so.

He peered over my shoulder before I could change the page and he asked, ever so innocently, “What are you laughing at?”

“Just Facebook,” I responded timidly. Inside I was screaming. If he was homophobic he surely already read the comment and realized I was gay. I worried that he was holding back his concerns already.

“Oh, good, add me. Gavin Hall? Stanford University, I think?” he laughed at his own joke as I also gave a quiet laugh.

“Sure thing.” I rushed and deleted all statuses that might pertain to me being homosexual - at least, as many as I could find in the 10 minutes it took him to unload his computer. We continued chatting for the next few hours, about silly things such as the Wifi password or serious things such as our majors. I was there for Computer Science, but he was there for Music - he is a spectacular pianist, apparently.

“You know, I played the saxophone in high-school. I wasn’t very good, at least, I don’t think so. I sang too, but again, I didn’t really dedicate that much time into it.” I continued the conversation.

“My ex played the saxophone. Really good at it,” he went on, “are you dating anyone?”

I froze at the question unable to process an acceptable response - “uh...” was the only thing I ended up muttering.

“You’re gay though, so I bet you’ll find someone in college. High school isn’t great for dating,” he paused, “I’d imagine.”

He knew. I was done. This was game over. The end.