Just Friends

Chapter 5 - The Damage

Chapter 5 - The Damage

Gavin doesn’t want anyone to know about his sexuality issues, so I am strictly prohibited to talk about it with anyone. Though, I don’t think anybody knows about my diary so this is okay. He still is talking to me about homosexuality every so often, asking me random questions as his mind continues to struggle with questions it never before bothered to ask. Or wanted to.

I haven’t seen Clarissa, Jamie, or Sarah since I saw Jamie outside of the lab over the weekend. I don’t know how fast the social ladder in college transmits information, but if it’s anything like an STD, everyone will know in the entire school by tomorrow. Okay, that was a lame joke, but it’s a diary. It still amuses me.

I walked into Chemistry lab on Tuesday with no clue of what to expect from the students. Mrs. Loch would never allow any type of physical abuse in the classroom, but I’m not sure if she ever truly cared about verbal abuse. I walked past the first row of black lab desks as a light snicker from two guys in the front row became audible.

The second row yielded me the word “faggot.”

The third row had only two lab stations in it. The first one was already occupied by Clarissa staring down at the sink, doing absolutely nothing of importance, but merely looking busy to avoid eye contact. Across from her at the first table stood Sarah. She was looking at me with a confused, almost pitiful glance, but once I made eye contact she started to “help” Clarissa with the sink. I finally reached the far corner of the room, placed my things down on the table and sat across from Jamie, my new lab partner, apparently.

I could feel eyes on the side of my head, detectable with my peripheral vision. It seemed that nobody was happy with me for some reason. I suppose this is what I was rewarded with for being in an Advanced Chemistry class - a room full of self-righteous assholes who believe their way is the only way. Unfortunately for me, their way was straight. Mine isn’t.

Jamie was the first one to speak directly to me, “don’t listen to them. Especially to Clarissa, she’ll get over it.”

I pointed out the obvious, “so, everyone knows then?”

“Yeah, Clarissa made sure of that.”

It was just then that I realized that Nathan was also in my Chemistry class. I looked around frantically for him but he wasn’t sitting at a table. I sighed: half in disappointment and half in relief. “I guess you are my lab partner now, then?”

“Yeah, Clarissa took a fit when she realized that she would be working with you. Sarah agreed to take her instead, but I don’t think she really has an opinion about the whole thing.”

“I guess things could have gone worse. Let’s get to work before the Loch Ness Monster has a conniption, eh?”

She laughed, “Let’s hurry up and beat Clarissa!”

I guess I felt bad about talking behind Clarissa’s back like she was a new enemy. She was really just a friend who was on hold, but at the time I couldn’t see the good in her heart.

Throughout class there was the occasional snicker that sounded precisely like gossip. Everyone was always gossiping in high school, and I was under the impression that it lessened in college, but it didn’t really seem to. I suppose it’s human nature for everyone to gossip and reveal some new social fact to someone else. Gives an amount of satisfaction, I suppose. Heck, I gossip constantly, and I see why people would be in a buzz about a homosexual rumor.

Clarissa and Sarah were, ironically, the first ones done with lab. Clarissa didn’t say anything as she walked out, but Sarah again gave me and Jamie a look that conveyed her message: sorry.