Untitled [l.s.] - ON HOLD

five

"Harry, wake up, I'm home," I feel someone shaking my shoulder, and my eyes half open to mum standing over me, still in scrubs.

"Hi, mummy," I tell her, even though I'm 17 goddamn years old.

"Hi, love. Sorry I'm a little late, but I'll go change before your friend gets here. And get decent, straighten up the living room." she points the clock hanging above the TV, and it reads 5:57. Shit.

"Okay," I say, and she heads to her room to change.

I get up, straightening the couch pillows and turning off the TV, and centering the flower vase on the coffee table, and picking up stray trash from the floor, and reliving the kiss that just happened an hour ago.

I sit back down on the couch, smoothing out the wrinkles on my black button down that I changed into after school and straightening my belt. I shake my hair and push it to the side, sighing as I get a pinch of silence before the door bell rings. I get up, opening the door to Louis and his family.

"Hi, you must be Harry," his dad says, and I shake his hand.

"Yes, sir," I answer, glancing behind him at Louis, who's typing away on his phone.

"I'm Ronald, Louis's dad. This is my wife, Leah," he says, and I shake the mother's hand, kissing it after. She giggles, and I let them in.

"Such a gentleman, I love that," Leah says, and I smile.

"Thank you, ma'am," I say as mum emerges from the hall.

"Hello!" she chirps happily and smiles. "I'm Anne, Harry's mother," she says, shaking Ronald and Leah's hands as they introduce themselves again.

"Louis," Leah hisses and nudges him, and he looks up from his phone.

"Sorry, hi, I'm Louis," he says, shaking mum's hand as she smiles.

"Nice to meet all of you, I've heard great things!" mum says and motions for them to sit down.

"I've just come home from work, but I'll make dinner as fast possible." she says, and Leah speaks up.

"Oh, dear. I'll help you," Leah stands, and mum protests but loses as Leah follows her into the kitchen.

"I need a smoke." Ronald says and grumbles as he stands to go back outside.

Louis and I are alone.

"So, um-" I try, but Louis is firing words at me before I can finish.

"It was a mistake. I was just trying to make you feel better, okay? I'm not gay. I never will be. I didn't mean to kiss you, and I want to let you know right now that the kiss we had meant nothing to me. It was just a mistake, that's all. I would very much appreciate if we don't ever bring this up ever again. Ever. Is that clear?" he breaks my dumb little heart in one breath, so I nod.

"Crystal clear," I whisper, and he seems satisfied.

"Good." he relaxes into the couch, but I'm frozen in place where I'm standing beside him.

"I need to, um, go check on my fish," I straight forwardly lie, walking too fast down the hall to my room. (I don't have fish, who the hell has fish anymore?)

I close the door quietly to my room, but I don't allow myself to cry. I've done too much of that this past couple weeks. I roll up my sleeve, tracing over the healing scars. I can't do that again. So, I just sit on my bed, burying my face into my hands. I lay down, wrapping myself in the sheets like a burrito.

Not too much later, I hear knocking.

"Come in," I mumble, and the door opens. I keep my eyes closed, so I don't have to face whoever came in here.