Mortality

The Lion and the Lamb

It takes less time than I'd really hoped for. But I give the man my debit card and leave the cab, rushing into the airport. The minutes are ticking by to the beat of my heart. Boom. I have a ticket. Boom. It'll be taking off for Phoenix in a half-hour. Boom. I go to the gift shop and buy cheap perfume and a hoodie, keeping them in the bag until I reach the bathroom. Boom. I spray the hoodie down with the perfume and then strip off my shirt, tossing it in the trashcan before dousing myself in the scent-hiding poison. Boom. I'm dressed in an unfamiliar shirt and smell like a 40-year-old.

I wonder if Alice and Jasper have realized what I've done yet. Are they following my scent? I pull my hood up and sit as close to the terminal entrance as possible. Will my measures really hide my escape? Should I have kept my cellphone with me just in case? I could have told Julie, she deserves to know.

They all deserve to know.

So much for no regrets

I pull out my notebook and start writing to Charlie. Apologizing. Begging for forgiveness. Asking him to bury me with red roses instead of yellow or pink. For him not to take his pain out on the Cullens, and to let them go wherever they want. For him to propose to Billy and be happy. And to tell Mom that I died in an accident. That I want to be cremated, so she doesn't have to see how broken I will be.

I barely hear them announce the flight to San Francisco.

A slight delay in my travel. The attendant says we'll have thirty minutes before taking back off once we land, so I won't even bother getting off the plane. Less of a scent trail to leave. I wonder if vampires can smell through steel.

I bury myself in the window seat, pressing my forehead against the walls of the plane and closing the blind to keep the light from hurting me. Two people sit beside me — warmth, human — and start their own conversations about the landmarks and restaurants they visit when they land.

As the hours go by, they stop, one even going to sleep. But the one next to me, who I now can tell is a girl around my age, looks over at me and smiles.

"So, what are your plans in San Francisco?"

"I uh ... I'm actually going to Phoenix to visit my dad."

"Divorced parents?" The sympathy in her voice makes my heart pang with guilt. I nod slowly, looking away. "I get that, my mom left mama a couple years ago. I see her on the weekends, but she's busy with her job, and I don't wanna be a bother. Things will get better, you'll see." She wrinkles her nose when she smiles, and her flawless umber skin makes Esme's beautiful, caring face flash before my eyes.

I hope she and Carlisle will be able to help my dad after this.

She goes back to her mother after offering me an affirmation, becoming background music to my writing in the notebook. Even the turbulence can't make my stomach anymore twisted than it already is. It's been over an hour since I left. If Alice and Jasper aren't aware of my absence by now, then my chances of survival have just decreased to near zero.

Though I don't really think I'll live to see tomorrow, anyway.

I pull out the book I got from Mr. Byrne and start reading the chapter of mental shields one more time. Anything to extend my lifespan will also give Charlie the chance to escape, maybe even get his gun back from James. Being able to hold my shield up, like when he attacked me in the woods, would be an awesome tool to use against him. Though ... with one hand still out of commission, it will be a lot more difficult. But I'll try. For Charlie's sake.

Nine hours later, I'm on familiar ground. Phoenix, Arizona — where I'm suddenly in deep suffering in this hoodie — is just as dry, hot, and bright as my memory made it out to be. I hail a cab and give the person my mother's address.