Rubin (pic is of him)
I wake up around eight every Saturday morning just to go outside and draw, or smoke. Today I stood outside our house smoking my second cigarette, waiting for Alana to wake up. I blow a puff of smoke towards a bird that had made itself at home on the porch next to me. The bird chirps and flies away. I smile, and throw my cigarette down to go inside.
I walk into the kitchen, and pull out two cups for coffee. I hear Alana coming down the stairs as I pour us our drinks.Alana sits down at the counter, and I hold out a coffee cup to her. She takes the coffee and whispers a thank you. My eyes cast down at my own cup when her raspy voice sends shivers down my spine.
"How did you sleep?" I ask, even though I know the answer. I try to act normal even though the thought of Laney having nightmares pisses me off to no end.
Laney and I may be twins, but I still know how I feel about her. I am in love with my sister. I know, it's illegal, and gross; but I can't help it. I have tried the past three years to tell myself I am just confused, and I just love her as a sister. But I can't get myself to believe that, I really do love her no matter what. It's awful.
I know that when Laney sleeps in my room she doesn't have nightmares, because she can actually sleep peacefully when someone is holding her. I always offer for her to sleep with me when she needs it, but she tends to be so stubborn. When I wrap my arms around her as she sits in her chair I can feel her body slacken due to the lack of sleep. She needs to sleep, and I am going to make her.
When she gets down from the chair I can see the dark circles under her eyes. I ask her when the last time she had a good night's sleep was.
"The last time I slept in your room, so a few weeks ago." she says. My heart drops. Laney!!!
"Go up to my room and get in bed, I will be up in a minute. You are going to sleep until you wake up. And then we will go from there." I tell her. She rolls her eyes, but turns to go upstairs.
I shake my head, and turn to clean the dirty coffee mugs. I put the clean mugs on the counter to dry, and lean my hands against the cool granite. I sigh deeply as I stare out the window in front of me.
I roll my shoulders, and turn to head upstairs after Laney. When I reach the third floor I close the door that cuts off this floor from the one beneath it. I walk slowly into my room, closing the door behind me.
I walk over to my bed, and lay down beside Laney.
"Get some sleep, Laney." I whisper, and then I slowly fall asleep with Alana in my arms.
****
I am standing in the kitchen of our house, Laney is standing in front of me; tears threatening to fall from her eyes.
"Why did you lie to me?" she whispers in a hoarse voice. I shake my head.
"I didn't lie! He was no good for you, he was just a pig!" I shout. Alana looks down at her feet.
