because of him. //short story//.

because of him.

    because of him.       

         As soon as the words slip out of my mouth, I turned on my heel and ran. I didn’t know where yet, but I was so sure that it was a good idea. He screamed my name saying it was okay to feel that way, but I know it wasn’t.

 He was too good for me, for anyone. His eyes gleamed with happiness every second of the day, and he would always make the best out of every situation no matter what. It only hurt me to know that we could never be in love with each other. It was wrong in so many ways. My legs carried me as far as it could and when I looked around, I realized that my subconscious led me to the park where we first met. That’s where we became best friends.

 It was when I was a mere twelve years old while he was already tiptoeing up to fifteen years old. I was crying on a swing after my parents recent divorce was brought upon me. I tried to wipe as many tears away as I could when I heard the leaves being crushed in front of me. My innocent eyes looked up to see the most angelic man I’d ever seen. He approached me with concerned eyes and talked to me about my feelings. He’s a wonderful man. Everyone thought he was a fool for becoming friends with a child, but he didn’t care. He was three years older than me, and I’ve been in love with him since the day we met. We’ve been friends for eight years now; me, twenty, and him, twenty three. This human being, this glorious being was by my side no matter what whether it was when my heart was broken for the first time to when I lost my last chance of innocence to a wasteful boyfriend. Nobody knew that I love him until now I guess. It was all over and gone. I knew he didn’t love me back because he saw me as his younger sister. I love him, but I cannot be near him for longer if it meant that I would be swallowed with pity from not only him but myself. My crush was pathetic and unreasonable.

I could hear him yelling my name, looking for me, my phone was buzzing with calls and texts from him. I knew then that I had to leave. We made eye contact right before I entered the cab I called to take me to my apartment to get my things. The drive there was slow and painful, and whenever the driver looked up at me through the rear view mirror with pity as he saw me crying, I choked on my tears knowing how idiotic I looked. I paid him the toll and entered my home to get everything I needed. I booked a plane ticket, and talked to my landlord. I know that he gave up on trying to contact me when my phone stopped buzzing, and that pained me more than before. I boarded my plane without looking back on my mistakes.

-one year later-

            After moving to London, I got into a wonderful university while I study for becoming an author. I’ve gotten a job writing for a popular magazine. My parents have kept in contact with me and they always ask me if he has every talked to me. His name is Elliot and I was still in love with him no matter how hard I tried to not be. My parents told me that he misses me and he got a new job as a business partner. I was proud of him, but he would never be able to know that. I didn’t want him to know anything. My parents nor Elliot know where I left off to and I’d like to keep it that way. They could easily type my name, Aurora Young, into Google, but I will always hope that they wouldn’t. I will always hope that he will find me in the busy crowds of London and profound his love to me, but I know that there’s a very small chance that he would.

At the moment, I was typing up a new short story for the magazine when there was a knock on the door. I already knew who it was when I heard that gentle pound against my door, so I got up and opened it. My boyfriend, Scott, was here with a pizza and a smile on his face which brought one to mine. We have been dating for about five months, and I’m happy. I don’t love him as much as I do Elliot, but I am growing to. He treats me right, brings adventure into my life, and loves me. Something that I was never given before. He greets me with a kiss and a compliment and says that I should take a break from work and cuddle. It was said with his thick English accent that I loved. I agreed and we laid together watching a movie while eating pizza. I have told my mom and dad about Scott, and they want to meet him, but I’m not ready to see anyone from my past yet. Scott was all I needed for now, and I was okay with that. I was okay with falling asleep and feeling safe in his arms.