Pinky Promise

ok this is a thing i want to continue but i dont.know if its good or not ok.

Holy fuck.

She kissed me.

On the face. With her lips, her soft lips and her face and her hair and her skin and her cells, the cells building her body and her eyeliner is smudged because I- I

Kissed back. Hard. And I rubbed my hand on her cheek and now her makeup is messed up.

"Uhmm Jaqueline?"

I stared at her. "I have to go Lucy." I stammer quickly.

I need to go home and process this new information process how good it felt process everything.

Process the fact she called me Jaqueline, she hasn't called me that since the day I met her, since the day she decided my name was Jackie.

The fact I havent called her Lucy since the day we decided it was Lue.

I stuffed my books in my bagback.

Lue loomed underneath me, she looked defeated and sad, I wanted to kiss her again.

I couldn't. No.

I grabbed my yellow sweater

"bye Lue-cyy" I say

"B-bye Jackie"

She hugging her pillow, OUR pillow.

I'm standing in her doorway about to leave. Shes sitting on the carpet her lip gloss and eyeliner are rubbing on the pillow.

What do I do... uhmm

"Lue.."

She looks up

"Uhm, that was fun, ok, itll be fine ok" I nod, she nods back.

Holy fuck.

I'm racing down the stairs now, I'm in the kitchen, her older brother is playing Call Of Duty, it's loud asf and I want to kick him.

I'm at the door, I shove it open and grab my bike shoving my puny legs home.

.......

Bed, bed is nice, familiar warm smells like me. 

I'm staring at the glow and dark stickers on my wall scratching my eyebrows and rubbing a pimple on my chin.

Why would she even want me.

I'm awkward, ugly, mildly psychotic and short. I'm never as spontaneous as her. Never as excited. Shes so much more cooler and prettier and perfect.

...