Bella in the Deep End

Chapter 18

My dad was my favourite person when I was younger. I loved my Mum, of course, but I had a stronger connection with my dad.

He was funny and smart and the greatest father to ever live. He was a former almost-pro surfer, a black belt in both Judo and Taekwondo, an amateur photographer, a nurse in a psychiatric ward, and a volunteer for almost every charity in existence.

When I was 7, he took his grandmother, his mother, and his sister on a road trip to the Grand Canyon.

They were on their way back when a truck ran through a red light and crashed into the right side of the car. Great Gamma Penelope, my Nanna Sandy, and Aunt Leona died on impact.

My dad was rushed to the hospital and survived long enough for Mum, Jayden and I to meet him after surgery. He told us he loved us and reminded Jayden that it was up to him to look after the family.

I started crying when he said that. I might've been young but I knew exactly what he was saying. He knew in that moment, that he was going to die.

I ran to him, wrapped my arms around his neck, and wailed that Jayden was mean and I cant be left alone with him. Dad reminded me that I still had Mum and then I started crying even harder.

I knew that Jayden felt guilty when I'd complained about him, and I knew he felt a responsibility to be a father-figure despite being only a few years older than me.

It was a button I refused to push until now. Until my emotions were so overwhelming I lost all common sense.

I was suddenly torn between protecting my brother from feeling like he's failed at the only thing Dad asked of him and wanting to be a teenager. Jayden got to do that. Why cant I?