❀ CROSSDRESSER, vmin

16

sixteen.

ꨄ︎

heartbroken, an adjective; suffering from overwhelming distress.

that's what taehyung was, he was heartbroken.

he swallowed harshly, blinking repeatedly to make sure that he was actually seeing correctly. his eyes were playing tricks on him, right?

the boy who he had lost his virginity to, a wonderful experience it was at the time, was not letting his hands roam all over someone else's body.

he frowned, feeling his throat close up at the mere sight of it. the other boy leaned down and kissed the younger-looking boy's lips, breaking taehyung even more.

his eyes started watering, glistening with distressed tears. he stormed over to the two boys, coughing and choking on his own tears. he wiped his eyes and ran up to the two boys, lightly nudging the one who was in the process of breaking his heart.

"j-jihyun, what the fuck?" taehyung whispered, his voice already breaking. "who's this? is this the fling you were telling me about?" the other boy asked, a frown upon his face. fling?

"w-what?" taehyung looked over at jihyun, whose face was expressionless and cold. "taehyung," jihyun spat. taehyung winced at the bitterness in his voice. normally it was tae, not taehyung. "did i not mean anything to you?" taehyung asked, his voice laced in hurt.

jihyun only laughed nastily, making taehyung's eyes water even more. "i couldn't care less about you, taehyung," jihyun admitted harshly. and there was the sound of taehyung's heart crumbling mercilessly. "b-but, i gave you my virginity," taehyung said, voice cracking.

jihyun scoffed and shrugged, "do you want it back? you shouldn't have gotten so attached, taehyung, that's your problem." but jihyun didn't lie, taehyung did get attached. for a month, jihyun had led taehyung on, and then, when he felt that the time was right, he took his virginity and left him there to crumble.

taehyung was very much speechless. "what, did you like me or something?" jihyun laughed obnoxiously. yes, taehyung thought, i liked you a lot. fucking stupid of me to ever think i had a chance.

taehyung didn't respond, but he watched as jihyun grabbed the other boy's hand, who had a very smug look on his face, and walked away into his house, leaving an emotionally wrecked taehyung on his doorstep.

taehyung let the tears cascade freely down his red cheeks as he, desolated, walked away from jihyun's house. the blondie felt so empty as he dragged his feet across the pavement, head down, trying his hardest not to take a second glance back.

taehyung felt so stupid, so embarrassed; he was so naïve and that was what led him to his first and last, he swore, heartbreak. he swore to himself that he was never going to let himself get hurt like that; he swore that he would never let himself get attached to anyone; he swore that he was never going to engage in any serious relationship that wasn't sexual.

he swore that he would never touch a virgin, he didn't want to put someone through that, and he didn't want to be reminded of his own foolishness.

☼︎

"um," taehyung mummered, visibly looking very uncomfortable all of a sudden. jimin frowned, "is it because of a bad experience with one?"

taehyung shook his head, mentally and emotionally preparing himself to tell jimin the truth.

"i was a virgin a long time ago," taehyung sighed. "and there was this boy, let's call him dickhead for now," taehyung said, making jimin chuckle quietly.

"dickhead wasn't a virgin, but i was," taehyung carried on, "and i grew very attached to dickhead, because dickhead led me on. he made it seem like he had some interest in me." taehyung had to. take a deep breath before carrying on.

"one day, dickhead invited me to his house. he gave me a bit to drink, things progressed and you can guess what happened next. but the next day, i go to his house, as you normally would, because he took my virginity and all, and i see him and this other boy touching and kissing each other," taehyung explained in a monotone.

jimin frowned, crossing his arms and putting them on his knees. from the way taehyung retold it, it sounded like taehyung couldn't give two shits, but obviously it was a very important event to him.

"and i guess that's what motivated me to just not care about proper relationships," taehyung shrugged.

jiminn exhaled lightly, "that's horrible, taehyung. dickhead is such a... dickhead."

taehyung chuckled and shook his head. "it's fine, i guess. virgin taehyung was such an idiot," taehyung shrugged.

"you're still an idiot, tae, but that wasn't your fault. that was dickhead's fault," jimin told him sternly.

taehyung nodded his head, "i don't sleep with virgins because i don't want to be... that guy." jimin sighed heavily, not realising how sensitive taehyung was in the subject.

"you didn't have to tell me that, you know," jimin told him quietly, suddenly feeling very bad. taehyung shook his head. "it's okay."

he does has emotions, jimin thought, other than horny and happy. "do you want to go to sleep? it's pretty late and we have school tomorrow," jimin asked, breaking the silence.

"can i spoon you?" taehyung asked back with unexpected confidence. "i'll just sleep on the sofa, then," jimin mummered, crawling out of the bed.

quickly, taehyung sat up and grabbed jimin's wrist with enough force to push them both back, as jimin landed on taehyung's lap.

"like this," taehyung smirked, giving jimin an intense, almost lustful gaze.

and the only way jimin could reply was by leaning down and taking taehyung's lips between his own.

☼︎