Dear Dylan

26 (Last)

The hideous sound of my alarm fills my ears, today is the day. I start the shower and crawl in letting the scolding hot water burn my skin, I didn't mind the pain. I'm too weak to stand, I scoop my knees up to my chest and let out a deep exhale allowing the tears to spill out of my eyes, soon the shower water is no comparison for the hot tears springing from my eyes. I have finally gained enough strength to pull myself up and shampoo my long brunette hair, I remember when I first time I dyed my hair brunette, the first thing Dylan said was "Why?" Then we fought over something stupid like we used to all the time, we used to fight over the stupidest things, which don't seem that stupid anymore.

I quickly condition my hair. Not bothering to check if I got all the conditioner out I step out of the shower and the cold air imminently hits my skin, sending chills down my spin, I wrap a single towel around my cold body. I wipe a clear line across the fogged mirror and look at myself, my beet red skin matches the tone of my puffy teared stained cheeks. I slip on my black tights along with my black skirt following with my blouse, black. I apply a small amount of waterproof mascara.

I meet both my parents down in my living room, we don't ask each other if we are ready, we all look at each other with sad eyes and nod. I climb into the backseat of my dads truck and look at the window. The ride there is silent, nobody talks. I can hear my mothers sniffles as we get closer. I can almost hear my dads silent sobs for help, I can see it in his eyes.

We pull into a small parking space right outside the graveyard, and then I see it. Dylan's grave. I turn around to see Tyler has come up in front of me, I don't hug him, I don't even make eye contact with him. There is a hearse coming slowly down the gravel road, everyone stops talking and just stares, I can hear sobs in the distance and all I can do is stare.

We all walk towards the grave and the coffin gets set on the lowering machine, everyone around me is in deep sobs and I just stare, this isn't happening. This can't be happening. I look around and my vision blurs, my eyes sting with tears, my quiet sobs soon turn into loud ones, I'm torn, my body aches, every part of me is weak and I fall to my knees.

"Dylan can't be dead!" I mutter through my tears, I look up at my parents staring down at me, tearing falling from their eyes hitting me, I hadn't seen my dad cry before, and I wish I would never have to after today. My mom falls down into deep sobs with me and we are hugging each other getting each others outfits wet with our tears of mourning. The casket lowers into the grave as peoples sobs get louder, I now realize that Dylan is gone, forever. He never got to graduate. He will never have a wedding, or a family, I will never be the aunt who gives the kids cookies when they're told not to. My kids will never have cousins, they will never know their uncle.

Soon people fade out and my mom lets me go, she walks away with my dads hand in hers. It reminds me that Dylan will never have that. I can feel Tyler's presence behind. He bends down and takes my hand and pulls me into his chest. My wet checks, stain his white dress shirt.

"Tyler, I have something to do." I open my small purse and take out a ratty notebook, It's labeled

'Dear Dylan'

I turn to Dylan's grave and set right on top.

"I love you, Dylan."

--

I spring up and rip my covers off my sweaty body, sobbing and gasping for air in fright.

"Lacey, are you okay?" My mom burst through the doors, running to my bedside.

"What was it? A bad dream?"

It wasn't a bad dream, it was a nightmare.