squidwards house x reigen arataka- love at first exorcism

episode 1- beginnings

greetings everyone. today we will be reading the love story of our two main characters, reigen arataka, and squidwards house. it all started on a very sunny day. reigen was mourning the loss of his previous lover, rohan kishibe. i would tell you how it happened, but that'll spoil jojo part 4 lmao. anyways, to relieve himself, he went to taco bell to eat 30 bean burritos. as he ate, he watched paw patrol because that's secretly his favourite show pff.

but then,,,,

the burritos started to set in.

reigen ran off to the bathroom and took a massive shit, which covered the walls of the entire bathroom. he did all of this while watching paw patrol, by the way. he never put the phone down for a second. he heard the familiar cries of someone next to him. 

"oH oRLiN,,, WhY diD yOu LeAvE mEeeeeeee"

reigen quickly cleaned up all of his shit and looked over in the other stall

"ayo bruh, you good?"

he says to the other. but it was none other than,,, niKoCadO aVoCaDo!! *dun dun dunnnn*

reigen gasped and fell back into the toilet, covering him in the explosive diarrhea he called shit. nick, who was eating 300 naked chicken chalupas and was also covered in reigens shit, was masturbating to loli hentai at full blast.

"orlin said he wants to divorce me,,,, now who will i force feed and abuse for my videos???"

reigen felt sorry for the avocado man, even though he was a piece of shit. he got an idea. he was about to call dimple when he suddenly remembered he was out on a date with the mucinex germ dude. he then remembered his good friend, yoshikage kira, was single and was also into force feeding as well as hands. he called him up and arranged him and nick a date at olive garden. they eventually got hooked up and made an onlyfans account. unforntunatly, the only person who really joined was joseph joestar. kinda sad tbh.

ah shit got off topic-

A N Y WA YS- 

reigen left the taco bell when he got a call from an unknown number.

"h,,,hewwo?"

reigen answered, shyly

"hewwooo, my house is possessed. it keeps putting on loli hentai on our electronics at random hours of the night. it also keeps covering my husband in spaghetti sauce"

reigen stopped suddenly. how dare that house misuse spaghetti sauce.

"your house will be going straight to hell for that. now, who am i speaking to?"

"this is squidward tentacles-cosby"

this was going to be the biggest achievement in reigens life. nobody misuses spaghetti sauce. that's illegal. reigen chuckled to himself and dialed up mob.

"welp kid, we've got an exorcism on our hands".

he then set off for bikini bottom. little did he know, but this visit would change his life. forever.