a/n-
yes its me
t h e a u t h o r
damn i havent made a new part in fuckign
forever?????
anyways, sorry about that i made an insta and ive been more active on that whoops
while we're on that subject, hmu uwu @cosmogg_
o k now im gonna start the story, pls enjoy
reigen and mob made their way down to bikini bottom in jotaro kujo's submarine, in which they stole so yeah thats a thing
"master, where's dimbpleasdfjaskdfj or whatever the fuck his name is i don't even know anymore at?"
"he's busy child, now hush." reigen said as he drove into bikini bottom. we all know reigen is a fucking idiot, so he doesnt know how to properly drive a submarine. he ended up crashing into the krusty krab in mr krabs' office, where he and mob had the unfortunate sighting of seeing mr krabs, plankton amd mrs puff having a threesome
"yo wtf? why are you doing this in the middle of a restaraunt or however the fuck you spell it. man i love having dyslexia" reigen questioned the three
"moneh moneh moneh moneh" mr krabs said as he softly caressed plankons body in a $100 bill
"understandable, have a nice day" reigen said as he backed the submarine out of the krusty krab. unfortunatly for mr krabs, plankton and mrs puff, there was a large fucking hole now, which revealed their sex tape to the customers.
reigen drove to squidwards house. once again, he's a dumbass who doesnt know how to properly drive a submarine, so he crashed into spongebob's house and killed gary. spongebob was alive and well because he was busy fucking patrick at his rock while this all went down
"well mob, time to go exorcise some spirits" he said as he and mob got out of the submarine. however, the unspeakable happened. the moment reigen laid eyes on the house, he felt his cock grow 69 extra inches long. this mf was getting erect by a god damn house, but how come? why a house of all things. reigen felt his legs weaken as he fell to the ground, clenching his boner
"f u c k,,,, mob uh,,, i think this job is for you. its a really easy spirit to exorcise, so im going to leave this one to you while i go take care of something,,, important" mob nods and makes his way to squidward and bill cosby's house. meanwhile, reigen quickly ran into spongebobs slightly destroyed home and masturbated
"what the fuck, reigen. why a fucking house of all things. god damn, your standards are low" he heard the voice of jesus.
"j-jesus-kun?? is that you??" reigen said, looking around. he then looked at garys dead corpse to find jesus, feasting on it
"sorry, i had cravings" he said as he wiped his mouth. "now i see what your problem is. my dad, god, had the same problem when he was your age. thats actually how he met my mother, who is now the empire state building. but that's not our problem here. our problem is you confessing your feelings to that house. this isn't the first time youve been horny for inanimate objects, is it? dont lie, reigen. i know everything"
reigen was going to say no at first, but then, he decided to use his last braincell and look all the way back to his childhood. yes, there it is. his first love- a peanut. he loved and cherished that peanut. but one day, he shoved it up his ass. little did he know that would be the last ass it would ever be shoved up. this memory put a tear in his eye as he looked at jesus
"mr peanut... i will never forget you"
jesus nods as he places a hand on reigens shoulder
"now, reigen my child, i want you to go over to that house and show him what that cock of yours can do. my dad didnt give you it for no reason, you know?"
reigen smiles as he was filled with determination
"thank you, jesus! i wont let you down" he ran off to squidwards house.
"i did it again..." jesus said as a single tear ran down his face
"jesus, what the fuck are you doing??" dio said in his lingerie. "this was supposed to be OUR NIGHT, jesus. OUR. NIGHT. fucking dammit. this was the only night i could get my pathetic son, giorno, to fuck off so we could be alone, and this is how you want to spend it??? unfuckingbelievable."
"wait, dio! but he needed-"
"i dont care what you say anymore, jesus. we're done. im tired with your christian advice bullshit. im calling my ex, pucci, to come pick me up."
"dio!! NOOOOOO!!"
pucci came out of the sky in his magic pink barbie convertable.
"baby, im so glad you came back" dio said as he hopped in. "oh yeah, jesus. if you didnt catch the hint, we're done. take me away from that skank, babe"
pucci then drove off with dio, abandoning jesus
"welp. i guess theres always more... fish in the sea!"
HAHAHAHA GEDDIT???? BECAUSE THEY'RE UNDERWATER???? AHAHAHAH LAUGH IT WAS FUCKING FUNNY
...
anyways, stay tuned for the final part because its gonna messy like nick avocados shit
YOU ARE READING
squidwards house x reigen arataka- love at first exorcism
Romanceone fateful day, reigen arataka was called down to the tentacles-cosby residence to deal with an exorcism- the exorcism of squidwards house. however, reigen and squidwards house fell in love as soon as their eyes met. will squidwards house and reige...
