Naruto, A Shattered Mind

Chapter 30: Frustrations

Sasuke went straight for the shower, shedding his clothing as soon as he closed the door behind him and locking the door. He caught a flash of himself in the mirror and was surprised that his nose wasn't bleeding. He could have sworn with how much he blushed, it would have been a given. Maybe it wasn't true that someone could get a bloody nose from excitement? Or maybe it had more to with the fact that his blood was rushing elsewhere at the moment...

He stood under the warm streaming water, leaning against the wall with both arms and letting his head hang. He had his eyes closed and was trying really hard to calm down, but neither the water nor the seclusion was helping him with his issue.

He had never felt more embarrassed than the moment Naruto called him out on his book. It was like having a weakness exposed and he didn't like the idea of anyone knowing his weaknesses. On top of that, he had never felt his blood flow... t-that way as fast as it did when Naruto was on his knees in front of him and looking up at him with those perfectly begging eyes glistening with mirth and mischief. Images crossed his mind of Naruto doing the stuff that damned book described to him, adding to his recent most favorite memory and forming a vision real enough to almost imagine the physical feeling of being engulved by Naruto's soft lips and hot wetness of his mouth...

Sasuke shook his head trying to shake the image. He came here to get the image out of his head, not reenact it and imagining it more real. But he couldn't help it. He was hard enough now for it to ache and he regretted walking out on Naruto, but he couldn't admit to it and go back to Naruto. His embarrassment kept him from doing so. Just the thought of Naruto either smug about this or pitying him was more than he could handle.

He took a few slow breaths to try and calm down. He was actually trembling a bit and he felt strained and labored. The image of Naruto in front of him as he sat with a hand burried in Naruto's hair bubbled up in his mind, causing another throb in his lower region and a blush on his face.

Damnit. He hit the wall with his fist in frustration, but no matter how much he tried to force his mind elsewhere, his mind kept going back. He placed a hand on his underbelly, the spot Naruto had kissed and licked at and felt a nervous excitement settle in his stomach. What would it really feel like? Would he be able to handle it?

Then a thought crossed his mind that was almost enough to get him to calm down. Even if they did want to continue, was it even possible? He had no experience, not even with women and he was pretty sure that Naruto didn't either. And even if either of them had experience, how would the same thing work with two men?

Argh, but the image of Naruto kneeled down... and his soft kisses and needy touches... Even his questions and doubts couldn't chase that image from his mind. Naruto was so free with what he did and not for the first time Sasuke wished to be a little more like that. He probably would have stayed, maybe even gone along with it, to who knows what kind of conclusion. The thought was enough to draw out a fierce blush once more and a frustrated growl. He was supposed to have more control than this! He never had issues like this before!

An almost painful throb pulled him out of his thoughts, back to the problem at hand and he made it a problem in hand. He hated this. He avoided it and only did this to himself when he felt like it was absolutely necessary and there was no denying that right now, this was a situation where it was absolutely necessary. The act was primal and usually driven without reason other then releasing tension, things he didn't want to associate with himself, but now, with thoughts of Naruto swirling in his mind, the experience didn't feel that bad. It was more intense and it felt so different just by imagining the touch was Naruto's.

He bit his thumb on his other hand to suppress making any embarrassing sounds, but the occasional grunt still escaped him. This was horrible and it felt so good. He let himself end up on his knees and grunted unrestrained. His breathing was fast with the occasional quiver every time his fingers massaged his most sensitive spot. He almost didn't want to continue. He felt a little scared cumming with Naruto so firmly on his mind, ashamed to be using him just for this selfish reason. It wasn't right, but that didn't stop him from feeling so good.