Three

Chapter 1 - Oliver

SPOILER ALERT - This is basically an extended episode tag that starts where the S3 mid-season cliffhanger ended so expect spoilers!! 

DISCLAIMER - If they were mine then things would have gone differently last night! ;) 

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"Three." 

Oliver's voice was guttural, rusty but Felicity heard him and almost broke down at the welcome sound. She instinctively hugged him joyously but at his sharp inhale of pain, she quickly leaned back so that she wouldn't hurt him. Tears did well in her eyes then as she met his eyes and saw that they were clear of pain and confusion. It was the first time Oliver truly seemed aware since they had found him...since he had left her and sacrificed himself to protect Thea and to save Starling City by battling Ra's al Ghul alone.  

She had first thought that he had killed so she had rejoiced when they had found him alive. That joy had quickly become painful torture though as it seemed like she was going to be forced to watch him die before her very eyes. Looking at him now with his eyes open and aware was nothing short of a miracle. 

"Three." Oliver repeated as he stared at Felicity and tried to speak once more but the woman he loved cut him off again by lightly pressing her lips to his. 

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Three weeks earlier

Tremors wracking his body woke Oliver up and he gasped just before the bitter cold stole his breath. He tried to understand where he was and what was happening but his thoughts were jumbled, confused. The memories returned though with the same blinding speed as Ra's al Ghul's sword and they brought just as much pain.  

Malcolm...Thea...Nyssa...Maseo...Ra's al Ghul 

Images flooded his mind and his heart clenched painfully as tremors again shook his body. Felicity. Oliver remembered their kiss once again and called for her just as oblivion claimed him. 

He awoke again and it took hours before the numbing darkness slowly enveloped him. Hours of hard ice piercing his bare skin just as Ra's weapon had. Hours of feeling the blood slowly ooze from his body even as the bitter metallic taste remained in his mouth. Hours of pain - sharp pinpricks, deep aches, waves of pain that pulsed through him with every beat of his heart.  

The next time he awakened to fire as a flash of searing hot pain ripped him from the darkness. He felt that the very fires of hell had surrounded him and the flames were searing the flesh from his body. Sleep came more quickly but with it came the dreams. 

This time Oliver's personal hell was different from his past tortures. It wasn't the same as when he had first landed on Lian Yu - then an old picture and a desire to avenge his father had brought him the necessary comfort and inspiration to survive. It wasn't even the same as when he had returned to Lian Yu after Tommy had died - then it was duty and friends that pulled him back and ensured that he was able to survive. This time it was dreams of future that teased his head and heart - dreams that gave him the strength to fight the darkness and the pain.  

He saw Diggle with an arm holding Lyla close as their daughter stood next to them - all three were looking at a large, beautifully decorated Christmas tree. He saw Roy and Thea laughing as they added another ornament to the tree - the handmade decoration had both of their names engraved on it. Then he felt Felicity behind him and he turned to see her smiling and holding a baby in her arms. His baby, his wife. 

The pain returned though and the images disappeared as the fires of hell again licked, burned and then consumed him. He fought to return to the dreams but it was only oblivion that awaited him as the fire left only ashes. 

The cycle seemed endless - teasing images of a future with Felicity and their friends, their family that were then torn from him in blinding pain before the darkness overwhelmed him once more. Only once did he seem to break free of the fire and pain. He awoke up in a dark cave with a shadowy figure standing above him. He tried to keep his eyes open, he tried to fight but his body wouldn't move. A hand gently covered his eyes and he slept once more. 

When he saw Felicity next she had tears in her eyes and he was confused as his dream Felicity had shared only smiles and laughter with him. He was even more confused when the heat he felt came from her body and her tears and not the fiery pain.  

The touch of her tears on his skin brought pain of a different kind though - the pain of lost opportunities, the pain of lost love. He wanted to tell her not just that he loved her but also that he had been fallen in love with her upon first sight - he hadn't felt true love before so he hadn't recognized it then. His past experiences of love were twisted by lust, ego, loneliness, and desperation. The bright feelings of trust, humor, respect, and affection that she evoked hadn't made sense to him. He understood the lust and need that he had always felt for her but not all of the others things. Burying those confusing feelings, he had instead called her his friend, his partner. 

He wanted to tell Felicity all of those things so that she would stop crying. He would have told her anything to get her to smile or ramble, anything to get her to say that she loved him too. He knew that she cared about him but he was greedy and he wanted to hear that she loved him as much as he loved her - even if he only heard it in his dreams.  

The words didn't come though. Dream Felicity disappeared every time he tried to tell her what was in his heart. Teasingly she would come back - sometimes smiling, sometimes crying but she never stayed and he wanted her to stay. He tried to follow her and even called out and asked her to wait but it was always the pain that was waiting for him, not Felicity. 

Oliver awoke once again but he didn't open his eyes - opening his eyes would bring images of a crying Felicity. He wanted the images from his mind, the images of his heart. He wanted to see Felicity in a wedding dress, he wanted to see Felicity sharing breakfast with him, he wanted to see Felicity working on her computer. He simply wanted the pain and darkness to end so that he could finally be with the woman he loved. 

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AN - So we are going to leave Oliver's angsty POV here and backtrack just a bit to get the full picture and other POVs to bring us current. Pls feel free to comment if you plan to stick around for the journey as I would appreciate the company in this therapy session!