Raven with a Cravat and Key

Rejection or assumption?

         dedicated to magpiequeen444
     

    As he gathered his possessions, the Raven flung his black, duffel bag over his limp shoulder as his posture slumped against the white, textured wall.
  Glancing around the room stripped of his preferences, or in other words, his whole nature,
sighing sadly, he ran nimble, pale fingers through his onyx hair, as he impatiently chewed on his already-short nails. 
   It was unbelievable for the raven, his senior year had come to an end after jumping through those hurdles and obstacles, he even got accepted to a exceptional university in New York that offered the subjects he was interested in for a career, and yet, he still felt incomplete, as if something or someone was missing.
   He thought long and hard, this feeling has washed over him as he stood on the podium of the stage as he was handed his diploma, being met with the smiling faces of his companions,
mindlessly searching the crowd of people in swarms of embraces, some shedding tears and some reminiscing on the moments they shared.
  Besides the raven, a frown was plastered on his face with furrowed brows, whether he smiled or frowned, it was always followed with a question, ''are you alright?'',
  the raven was a bland and shallow individual without a passion in the world.
    This was what he wanted, right? the raven wasn't sure of it himself, before he had met the brunette, he was dead set on finishing this chapter of his life.
  He was going to escape the firm grasp of this reality, pursing his dream, he was given a shorter life then others because of his life choices, but did he mind?, not one bit, these were the consequences one would have to face.
 
 A brief knock at the door caused the raven to shift from his spot on the mattress,stripped from bedding,
  the raven was met with the glacial orbs of the man with the brown, cattleman's hat,
a curt nod from the man signaled that it was time,
it had only been his graduation a few hours prior, but the raven had decided to situate to his new home before university started in a few months,
  he knew it would most likely be the last time he would spend any moments with the group of people who out of a miracle had the ability to befriend,
  Erwin and Miche had decided to register in the navy, while Hanji had been accepted to a university for the elite to in the near future publish their research, 
Petra, Oluo, and Gunther had all decided to apply to a university that was nearby where they had lived. 
  The raven had decided to store all his 'greatest companions' in a small drawstring backpack that was tucked away in the bottom of his duffel bag, 
 as many times as he had tried to rid of the habit, one offer from another individual no matter the stranger, had caused the addiction to come back stronger, like an incurable illness. 
  He strode downstairs to be greeted with his uncle who held out the keys to his black Honda,
along with his passport and plane ticket,
without much word he placed a rough hand on his nephews shoulder as he tipped his hat,
nodding the raven strode out the doorway with a curt wave.
 Placing his belongings into the backseat, adjusting the rear view mirror, he glanced at the worn-down house where he spent half his childhood,
  Starting the ignition of the car, he was on the road to his future,
streets and familiar buildings passed his view, along with a certain brunette's house.
 
'to hell with it'

    The raven hesitated until something very narrow clicked into his mind, almost as if it was a missing piece from a puzzle that had magically ended up underneath the sofa,
  as he parked his Honda on the curb side of the modern home, 
was he willing to face the rejection?, probably not, what was the point?, the raven was leaving to New York in less than two hours and he did not plan on staying even if the brunette was willing to accept the raven,
   running his fingers through his damp hair for the hundredth time today, he built enough courage to simple knock on the furnished, oak door.
 Not enough seconds were given to the raven to gather his thoughts, he should have done so sooner before even getting the ideal to face the brunette.
  Clenching his fists, his gaze cast downwards as the familiar creak of the door caught his attention as a middle aged man had answered the door,
he wore his round spectacles on the bridge of his nose, his eyes were the same vast green as Erens, 
 ''Is Eren Jaeger here?'', i asked while i bit my lip in anticipation, his father studied my expression before breaking out into a smile,
  ''Yes, he is, i'll call him right down'', as he lead me inside the complex, i glanced around the unfamiliar room, as he trudged up the wooden stairs,
  as soon as i sat down, anxiety spiked my system, bouncing my leg subconsciously,
i was beginning to regret my decision of coming here,
was it to mend bridges?, no, it was to rid of this certain feeling of incompetent.
 Without much notice he felt an intense gaze, as he gazed up at the familiar brunette, 
 he still wore his polished onyx suit that hugged his frame perfectly, as his untamed hair was slicked back with a few loose strands.
  The tension was thick enough to slice with a knife as the brunette scratched the back of his head, 
  ''um, so do you want something to drink'', gunmetal irises met with vast, green, as the raven registered what the brunette asked,
  ''Ah, no it's fine.'', the silence was back as the brunette sighed and took a seat besides the raven,
''why are you here, Levi?'' curiously the brunette tilted his head in wait for a response from the unsure raven who was situated besides him,
  taking a deep breathe the raven gazed at the brunette,
''I, don't know.'', the brunette held an expression with disinterest from the raven's response,
resting his tan, hands on his legs he shook his head as his mind wandered,
  i want him to leave the brunette thought, the brunette had since spent his time convincing himself that he would leave the raven be, after that one fateful day he decided they just couldn't change one another, from the beginning any form of contact between the two had ended in devastation and anger, it was dangerous.
  ''Look, Eren, in all honesty i have no idea what i'm doing here sitting in you're living room besides you, i was suppose to head straight to the airport to board a flight to New York.'' the raven spoke nonchalantly, as he hesitantly peered at the oceanic-eyed beauty,
 the brunette currently gazed intently at his hands that grasp the fabric of his pant legs,
 ''You're leaving that far out huh?'', chuckling bitterly he glanced at the raven in spite of the differences he still felt adoration towards the raven no matter if he was harshly used and rejection by the beautiful raven that had brought so much realization to his life, strength in the matter. 
 ''We both knew this friendship couldn't have lasted long, so why hurt yourself more Eren?'', he spoke in a matter that caused a chill to run down his spine,
  the raven knew it was time to give a responsibly explanation as the words came rushing towards him at once,
  ''I have issues Eren, i'm a broken man, i carry scars to remind me of that, i pushed you away for a reason and i don't regret it, i didn't want to hurt you anymore than i had.'', those words sparked a deep rage in the depths of the brunette's soul, without much thought he spoke out what he really thought,
 ''Broken how Levi?, why couldn't you have pushed me away before i got too attached?, what could you possibly use as an excuse towards you're actions?, you have friends who care for you, you get grades above an honor student, you probably have two very loving parents who paid you a full ride to a fucking university across the damn world?!'', the raven watched intently as the brunette spoke his mind, he felt no anger directed towards the brunette but towards himself,
  half of the yelling had faded towards the back of his mind as he intently wondered about what difference could have been made if they had both grown up in different ways,
  while the raven seemed stoic and expressionless, he cared for others, 
he grew cold and distant and tended to push others away if they came too close only to be transported back to square one, intently as if it was a difficult boss in a game where you would have to restart over again if you made even one mindless mistake. 
   
   A certain scoff broke the raven from his thoughts as he glanced at the disproving glare from the brunette,
  ''if You're not even going to listen to me, then just g-'', before the brunette could finish his ranting, thin but soft lips were placed on his as the brunette melted into the contact, lips molded together as if they were mean't to create a masterpiece, it felt so right in other words,
   before they broke apart,
   ''Eren, it's not that i wasn't listening, l..was just taking you're words into account of how much of an ass I've been to you, the reason i say broken is because of the choices I've made which prevents me from accomplishing certain ideals i have.'', before the brunette could respond he lifted his sleeve to reveal the many little scars that resembled needle pricks that adorned the pale, fair skin of the raven,
 ''I'm addicted to heroin and a number of stuff i couldn't dare to list, Eren, i'm not right for you, you have much more potential without me by you're side, you deserve better then the scum like me, and i'm not just saying that out of a way to gain pity or sentiment, i genuinely care about you, which is why i'm asking you to forget about me entirely, as much as it will hurt, i'm willing to do it, i don't know how to..Care about someone Eren, if i can't even care for my own wellbeing.''
the brunette stood dumbfound as tears pricked his eyes,
  "So then this is it for us?", the brunette's lip quivered slightly,
  As the raven nodded solemnly
that was enough for the brunette to break out into wrenched sobs, that caused the raven's heart to squeeze painfully, 
  wrapping his arms around the brunette he slid the necklace that his mother had given him years ago into the pockets of the brunette's suit,
before he detached himself from the sobbing mess of the ocean-eyed beauty,
  Placing a delicate hand, gently on the cheek of the brunette haired boy,
 ''goodbye Eren'', the raven bid a farewell as tears strewn down in waterworks. 
      The brunette gazed at the raven's blurry retrieving form, as much as he wanted to sprint and gather the raven into an embrace, his body was too paralyzed in shock,
 the words 'i love you' felt bitter on his tongue, soon regretting not being able to embrace the raven one last time, 
rubbing his eyes with clenched fists as soon as he opened them, the black Honda was out of sight.

 Smiling to himself the raven gazed at the road ahead of him, 

 
  finally he had done something right in his life, that he wouldn't regret.

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