Falling

Imagine

Picture this-burning all around you, behind, to your left and right but not in front of you, as yet. Orange and red flames blaze slowly around. Time itself seems to have paused. How can this be real? Are you dreaming? The smoke is smothering you, chocking you. You scream until your throats raw because burning is the worst fate. Out of nowhere a man appears and help to pull you out of the rubble. He looks just as scared as you. But at least you're not alone. We can be together in our fear. The red around me turns black as my mind wonders again.

Then I'm 16 years old, in a prom shop with mom. She's laughing at me pointing out all the ugly dresses in the shop.

"Oh stop being so fussy", she says with a half grin "Choose a dress you like, stop pointing out all the dreadful ones!"

"But mom look at this one! Its a washed out peach with sequins and a ruffled bottom- if someone wears this they will look like a ill flamingo." I say as I jokingly hold the dress against myself and swirl. Before gracefully knocking down a stand of more awful dresses. Mom, being the hero she is immediately jumps into action, gathering the dresses together, whilst my 16 year old self stands awkwardly watching.

"Ooops...at least now we have an excuse to leave this shop and go somewhere else!" I say as we slowly walk out, desperately trying not to meet the eye of any shop worker.

"Only you would look at the positive of that embarrassment!"

"What can I say, I'm the glass is always half full kinda girl"

"And I'm the glass is half empty kind of girl- I think we will never find you a dress!"

"Good! Means I can stay at home with my one true love!"

"True love?"

"Popcorn whilst watching Pride and Prejudice-again!"

Mom laughs at me, as she laughs small lines crease next to her blue eyes. She has always looked younger than she is, but the recent stress of our lives is slowly but surely taking its toll , bags have grown under her eyes. Grey strands of hair have snuck into her strawberry blonde bob and her eyes seems dimmer than when I was a child. When she thinks no one is looking her smile fades to sorrow, mom would never let her pain show of course; she is the glue of our large, complicated family.

"We shall find you a dress- if it takes me a lifetime to get one you like you shall go to prom!"

And what mom commands happens. Sure enough in the next store I find a dress.
It's navy blue with sequins patterned across the chest, the neckline is almost heart shaped. The dress drags a little on the floor, but mom promises to take it up for me, no problem at all. When I try it on I know this is the dress, I feel like a princess ready to conquer the world. Plus it only costs $65.

The night of prom was amazing, my hair was done up a messy bun with loose curls that soften my face, makeup covers all faults in my skin and makes my eyes look bold and daring. When my dad saw me his green eyes brimmed up with tears.

"My girl! How have you grown up!? I remember when you did not reach my knee and giggled every minute of the day!" he sighs.
When I was younger everyone said I looked exactly like my mom, now I'm older I realise the way I stand, my hair colour and face shape are all because of my dad.

James, my lazy brother stayed on the sofa, not even looking up at me. Far too distracted by the T.V, plus his blonde hair has grown across his face into his eyes, so I doubt he could see me if he tried.

That night I danced my worries away, held my high school friends for the last time, as we all knew we had out grown each other. I try not to laugh out loud when a girl walks in wearing a washed out peach dress with sequins and a ruffled bottom. As a last goodbye we all pretended we would live in that moment forever- no thoughts about the future, no worries about if we would get through college or fall in love. Just friendship and dancing. When we said goodbye none of us cried- we were all ready for the adventures of the world before us, but we knew in our hearts that at least some of us would always stay connected.

As I wake from my dream I realise I'm still alive. This is not a dream either. My rescuers sits next to me, one look at him and I can tell he has no answers to the horrors around us. I can hear screams and sirens mixed together.

Of course I thank my rescuer, who is in an extremely smart suite. Without words we begin to carefully move about, scanning the area for a way out. Our desperation makes us move fast, but my mind is still slow and muddled.

I can't help wondering that we make it out alive, will my dad look at me in my wedding dress that makes me feel like a Queen with the same pride as he did when I went to prom? Will he again wonder how I have grown up? Will James be late to my wedding- even though he is best man?

This is stupid. I can't think like this. For once I may have to be the glass is half empty kinda girl.