Delinquent For Christmas

Chapter Ten

          Molly and I plugged in our phones to charge and headed out. We went next door to the spare house which is like a giant place for storage. That is where Molly does her make-up and keeps most of her clothes and accessories. It's heated, has eletricity, and they've placed televisions, furniture, and made two spare bedrooms throughout the place. It's really nice. There's a mini fridge, but no kitchen. You'd have to go into the actual house for that.

        The spare house is also where we store extra things of mine, for when I'm here and want to stay. So we retrieved everything we needed, dropped the load off in Molly's room, and went back downstairs. We had cleaning to do.

        I somehow ended up in a room alone with Max.

        "Do you want to talk about---"

        I cut him off with a stern look. "Did he hurt you?"

        "No, but---"

        "Then I don't care and I don't want to hear it."

        "He didn't hurt me physically. He didn't hit me, Hope. He just started it. He baited me, talking shit about you and my sister! Oh, but he can say whatever he wants, he just can't take it. Tackled me, knocked me into the storage units. We wrestled a bit. Likes causing trouble, but no good in a fight."

        He kept rambling on. A lot of what he said was making no sense, but I was caught up in my own thoughts. "Seriously, stop talking already. I get it." I didn't believe Max's story, but I did believe the things Zachary-supposedly-said. He'd said similar things to me, after all. Molly's hot. Girls are hopeless.

        And he's helpless. He can be great, if he tried. But that's the thing, he doesn't want to try.

        And there's no need to anymore.

        I've already seen the kind of person he is.

         "So you believe me?"

        "I believe he said the things you say he did. He's said similar things to me before." He opened his mouth to seak. I held up a hand to silence him. "We're leaving it at that. I don't want to hear another word about him."

        "Hope! It's feeding time, why don't you come help me feed the animals?"

        I shove past Max, going outside and calling out to her. "Coming, Moll!"

        "As always, I'll feed the big and gentle furry things, and you feed the mean dogs and gross little animals."

       Molly won't step foot in the reptile room or go near the mice or birds. And they say I have "a way" with dogs, because the moody and atisocial ones always seem to attach themselves to me. Like with Chance, I'm the only one who can feed them or even go near them.

        Besides Zachary...

       Unconsiously, I go to my pockets to grab my phone, which wasn't there. It was dead and charging.

       What were you going to do, anyway? Call your mommy? Check on the poor disruptive boy?

       I scoff at myself. You really need some help.

       And I do. Help forgetting about him.

        Help closing my eyes, without seeing his face there.

        Help unseeing how broken he was when he left.

        The betrayal I saw in his eyes when he looked at me.

        What did I do?

        What are you going to do?

        Probably something stupid.....

         Nope, just doing my duty, as always.....

         I feed the little animals, then lock up their sections of the shelter. Move to the dogs, open their pens one key at a time, feed them, lock up, move on. I saved the best for last.

       Chance picked his little head up, but somehow knew it was me. Maybe he already figured out I'm the only one not afraid of him. But you know what they say, he's more scared of us than we are of them. Why do you think he is the way he is? Fearful, because of what humans had done to him, and thankful for what I'd done for him.

        Still, there was something off about him tonight. Granted, I'd only known him a day, but there was just a sadness to him, in the way he kept glancing at the door, watching like he was waiting for someone to waltz right through it.

        Zachary.

                "He's not coming," I whisper to the poor pup, patting his head sympathetically. He whines, as if in understanding, and lays down, body pushed against my thigh, head on his paws. He seemed so upset over the whole thing. Much like me, worried, confused, conflicted...seemingly stuck in the middle of some war I didn't even know was happening. Much like the war inside myself, beween my sanity and my insane heart, swirling with unknown emotions. I felt so ready to burst, just wanted to stay locked up tight. I didn't notice the tears trailing down my face and my chin found a place to rest between my knees, arms hugging myself against my legs.

        I felt hopeless. I felt worthless. I felt all those things. But not because I was a girl. Because I've finaly been forced to face the truth. That I'm only human. I'm not perfect. Nobody's perfect. Even I make mistekes. I can't fix everything. Some things just can't be fixed. I can't change the world. I can't even make my own life good. If anything, I've been making everything worse. For everyone around me.

        With a little knock on the door, it squeals slowly open to reveal a sympathetic looking Molly. Chance stays quiet, but watches her every move, weary of her. Hackles raised, he presses flat against me. He's protecting me. I pet him reassuringly.

        "Hey," Molly smiles, watching the dog as she crept closer into the room, but showing no hint of fear. With my added assurance and sence of calm, he seemed to settle down a bit. She sits down pretzel style a few feet away, facing me. "Lot on your mind?"

        I laugh sarcastcally, "How could you tell?"

        "Hope, that dog needs you, I get it. But not all the time. You need to clear your mind, or grab some alone time, you shut everone out." She pushes to her feet, holding her hand out for me, despite our distance. "Come on, what you need is to go for a walk with your best friend to go get some cocoa."

        I roll my eyes, "Cocoa to you and your brother is the answer for everything." But I stand and take her hand, waking goodbye to the puppy on the way out..