Rage With Benefits

Extras #1: The Secret Crush

Cameron.

Cameron. Cameron, Cameron, Cameron.

Fucking Cameron.

Emery gulped as he backspaced what was probably the 65th draft of the article he was working on for the school paper. He can't focus. The name is like a damn curse. A beautiful parasite that he just can't seem to get out of his mind.

"This is ridiculous," he grumbled as he kicked the air beneath his desk, groaning at how unproductive today has been.

It's all that guy's fault. Buying him burgers and shit. Now he can't get the memory out of his head. Every time he thinks about it, his heart does little freaky flip-flops and it does that multiple times until he can't focus on anything but stupid Cameron and his stupid curls and stupid smiles.

Fucking hell.

"It's cheeseburger," he remembers him saying, tone a little annoyed as Cameron handed him the wrapper. "The lunch lady got my order wrong. Ian tells me you like cheese."

He knows I like cheese. He knows I like cheese. He knows I like cheese. OHMYGOD, OHMYGOD, OHMYGOD he knows I like cheese.

"Oh um," Emery hesitated. Mentally kicking his brain to say something sensible. "Thank you, man."

"It's whatever."

The burger wasn't even supposed to be for him. It was a platonic gesture that Emery was lucky to even witness given Cameron's antics. But he took it, and there he stood, looking like a complete idiot, thinking if there's the tiniest chance that things will work out between them the way he wants them to.

He doesn't even want to get into the reality of that. Instead, he just focused on the burger. He took a bite, savoring it. Hoping to God Cameron didn't hear him squeak when their hands touched as he took the wrapper.

He's pathetic. It's beyond help, really.

It was back in seventh grade when Emery realized he likes boys and finds the thought of women absolutely repelling. Literally the day after that, was when he realized he had a massive crush on Cameron Brooks.

As the years passed, those feelings evolved. What started as an innocent puppy attraction turned into something deeper. Emery grew up witnessing his crush date multiple girls throughout the course of junior to senior year of high school while he stood on the side line, waiting for the day Cameron magically comes out of the metaphorical closet. Or the day he kisses him drunkenly at a sophomore party where he realizes his feelings for him, like in the movies. But no such things happened. It has always been the same. They're just friends. Bros. Pals. Buddies. Hell, they don't even talk that much and he's clearly the last person Cameron would give a shit to in an apocalypse so why the hell is he tiring himself chasing him?

It was the little things. The details that he knew only he had the courtesy to notice. How Cameron hates cheese. The way Emery finds himself smiling like a fool every time he sees a Scooby-doo poster because Cameron is terrified of that show. How Cameron laughs quietly at his teammates' stupidity when he thinks no one is looking. His weird but utterly admiring love for albino lizards. It was the way he displays himself as a not-caring fella, but Emery knows damn well there's so much more than that.

Cameron is just... Cameron. And damn it if that isn't so damn attractive.

"Honey? Dinner's ready!" Emery heard his mother's voice blasted from downstairs, the scent of roasted chicken and pasta invading his lungs.

"Be there in a sec!" he shouted back and turned to look at the blankness that is his laptop's screen, and sighed. Dina for sure is gonna give him shit for submitting late again, but he figured he'll just deal with that later.

High school was almost over and when he goes to college, he swears he'll be fresh as new. No more Cameron, no more pathetic, unrequited infatuation.

Just eight more months and he's free.