A Lonely Path

Chapter 3 - Let Me In

A/N

I hope you have been liking my book so far! Please keep reading, I promise there are more exciting things coming up. You would never expect it. Please comment and tell me what you think. I would love to get your criticism and any help I can get.

Oh btw sorry I haven't updated in a while I've been very busy but I will try and update more often. I'm very excited to see where this book takes me.

Lots of love your one direction loving freak xx

Chapter 3

I stood in the same position staring at his retreating back for a few minutes. I was still in shock from what had just happened. I was still trying to determine if it was real or just a dream.

I stood in the harsh cold wind for a few more minutes trying to gather my thoughts. After I made sense of my situation, well as much as I could, I wiped my tears and went back into the school building with all the courage I could muster. I refused to let Dahlia and her friends see me weak.

The rest of the day went in a blur. I don't remember anything that happened. I just went through the motions not acknowledging what I was doing. Putting no emotion into anything. I went to my classes, sat through the lesson, and at the end of the day I felt...empty.

This is not how I had expected my day to go. I expected this to be the day everything changed for me. I would make friends and would fit in, for once I wouldn't be 'that girl that was violently abused'.

I sat on the brick wall outside school waiting for Aubrey to come out so we could walk home together.

I was not usually one to get jealous, but in that moment when Aubrey walked out of school, I was green with envy. It was almost like it was a scene from a Hollywood movie.

She walked out of school with a huge smile on her face, from ear to ear. The kind of smile that could melt any heart. She was surrounded by a group of girls and they were all talking and laughing. People in the courtyard actually stopped and did a double take.

I yearned for what she had. For everything to be so simple. To not have to make people like me because they liked who I was anyway. I couldn't hate her for it because it wasn't her fault she had that effect on people, I just wished I could be a little bit like her.

When she saw me sitting on the wall she said her goodbyes to her friends and then walked over to me. I put a smile on my face because I knew she would immediately sense if something was wrong. She knew me so well, and I knew if she asked I would tell her what was wrong, and I did not want her to think that what I was feeling was her fault. Because it wasn't. I just looked up to her so much and I knew she cared for me very much.

We walked back home in silence. The walk home was very quiet. I could not only feel the cold air slapping me, but I could also hear it. I guess the silence eventually became too much for Aubrey because she turned to face me sharply with a perplexed look on her face.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing. Why would anything be going on. I'm fine!" I said trying my best not to let my real emotions to come out.

"Bull shit! Don't lie to me. Something is obviously up. Stop shutting me out! -"Her voice broke and it broke my heart. At the time I thought I was protecting her, I was not going to hurt her with my insecurities.

She regained her composure. By this time we had stopped walking. We were in the middle of the side walk. We were in our own little bubble filled with anxiety, anger and a whole load of a mix of emotions, yet all around us the world went on. People walked around our little scene, going on with their individual lives. Doing grocery shopping. Worrying about what they would do about their jobs. What they are making for dinner. I always found this amazing. How someone could be experiencing an important, intense moment in their life when all around them it might just be another normal day.

Aubrey looked down at the ground then back at me, the hurt I her eyes was evident.

"I just don't understand. I want to help you. I want to be there for you, the way...the way...the way I never could."

The look she gave me in that moment stabbed my heart a thousand times. I wanted to reach out for her and hug her and whisper everything was going to be okay the way I did when we were younger. I would make the pain go away. I didn't want to be the reason for that pain. I would tell her she was always there for me. I just. I couldn't. Because I would be lying. It may not have been her fault and I didn't blame her for anything but the truth was she wasn't always there. Not just on that night but also when I needed her but she was too busy with Nick.

So instead of doing all those things I put on my best blank face and said as expressionlessly as I could, "I'm fine seriously. It's just been a long day. I want to go home."

She nodded and we continued on our way home but all I could think all the way there, as I walked into the empty house, past the doors to my room was that I have never felt pain like this. Not when my dad left. Not when those men hurt me. Not when my mum stopped being a mum. That moment was all I could think about. When she looked at me with her chocolate brown eyes filled with sadness. Being the cause of that sadness was enough to fill me with immense hurt. And the crack in my metaphorical heart got deeper. For the first time in my life I thought death was the answer. I didn't go through with it though. I just thought about how much more it would hurt Aubrey so I did what I thought any normal person would do in that situation.

I went to my speakers, connected my phone to it and put Let me in by grouplove on repeat, and proceeded to put the volume as loud as it could go.

The sound filled my room, it was hard for me to even think. I liked it this way. Immediately my mum came home I knew she would be on my case about the music being too oud and how it will permanently damage my ears but while I had the chance I decided I would enjoy it.

Crawling to my bed in the darkness of my room -because my curtains were shut with the lights off- I laid down on my bed and let the music wash over me.

I didn't know when I fell asleep but when I opened my eyes I was met by the eyes of a very troubled Aubrey. She was standing in my doorway.

This was meant to be my quiet time. To wallow in my sadness. I know stupid right, but I didn't want her to comfort me. I wanted to be alone. So when she approached me and started talking, I walked out.

I walked right past her, not even looking her in the eye. I didn't think about my actions I just did it.

And I didn't stop walking when I got out of the house. I kept walking until I stopped in front of this park. I don't even know how I got there.

It was dark. Very dark and for a second I was so freaked out I thought about going home but I talked myself out of it and ventured on into the park. I was met by a cold breeze and I immediately wished I had grabbed a jacket, rather than just the novel and phone I had managed to grab before storming out.

I spotted an oak tree in the distance and walked towards it. I sat underneath it and pulled out my earphones from my pocket and started to listen to music. I also took out my book, To all the boys I've loved before by Jenny Han. I was so into the book, she's amazing just btw.

I started to sense someone watching me. It was a really weird feeling. I looked around but I couldn't see anybody. I eventually just thought I was being paranoid and went back to reading. I eventually got comfortable, too comfortable. I was sitting with my back against the tree and the music from my phone lulled me to sleep.

I woke with a start. I looked around me frantically. I had the sensation of someone watching me again. And then it happened so quickly. I caught a glimpse of the boy. The boy I saw earlier in school. I just couldn't believe it. I had convinced myself I was just seeing things because I just woke up. And the explanation for earlier, I was hallucinating. I just couldn't believe it.

It all became too creepy for me, so I got up and started walking home. It was already nine pm. How long had I slept for? I knew when I got home my mum would be furious. After what happened two years ago she became very protective. Now she became protective. Anyway at least she's taking responsibility now. I would just have to deal with it and she would have to get over it.

And so with that thought I walked home, all the way feeling a strange presence behind me.