How did this happen?

Chapter Two

The first session included us just sitting there, in silence. Dr Nighy or Beth, as she wants me to call her, was quiet and I didn't say anything either, I didn't want to. But she did advice my mother to encourage me to get outside.

My mother had her book club over, so my living room was occupied with a group of chatty, half-drunk, middle-aged women. I was happy that my mother had friends again because, after the thing with my father, we were avoided.

"Oh, there she is, Delilah!" My mother's high-pitched voice ringed in my ear. "Can you get us some snacks from the store honey? We don't have any here, because your brother eats so much." She was referring to my brother, who is two years older than me.

"Can't Logan go?" My mother rolled her eyes at me. "No, the doc said you should get out in the world sometime. It's just a store, come on, you can do it."

Thirty minutes of discussion and I dressed in jeans and a big, oversized shirt to get to the store. It was getting cold, so I put on my favourite boots and a scarf. What I couldn't make myself do, is go to a store in town. Everyone here seemed to know my face and I could not stand it.

The store I drove to was in a neighbouring suburban town, just the first one I saw and deemed far enough away. It was a little run down here, but fine enough for getting some snacks.

The light over the snack aisle was flickering in a way, that made me feel like getting an epileptic seizure, even though I didn't have epilepsy. I heard the doors open and people talking and laughing. They were loud and I wanted nothing more than the silence back.

The snacks in front of me looked all equally unhealthy, so I picked some, that I knew my mother liked and hurried to get out of this store. When I turned around the corner, a group of boys around my age was standing at the checkout, while joking and holding six-packs of beer. I stood with a good distance of them, to wait until it was my turn.

They were tall and looked rich, even though their style was trying to tell otherwise. One of them seemed to have noticed me standing there because he turned to look at me and grinned.

"You can go ahead if you want to. We're still discussing who will pay our stuff." His voice was deep and baritone and whatever people use to describe those really deep, but not too deep voices, that just ripple through your whole body.

I just nodded and moved to the cashier who smiled at me. I looked back again, to notice the guy behind me still looking and smiling.

"That'll be 25,45, please. Cash or credit card?" I tried to smile politely "Cash"

When she handed me my change, I almost ran out of the store.

"Hey, you forgot this!" The guy jogged to me and handed me a bag of potato chips.

"Oh, Uhm, thanks." I put the bag to the other stuff in my trunk.

"Would you want to come with us to a party? Or you know, get back to my place?" He looked at me so cocky, that I wanted to punch him.

"I would rather try to swim over the north Pacific Ocean to Europe than do that and that is not a good way to hit on someone." It was my turn to grin now. I walked around the car and drove off as fast as I could.

"Hey, mom! Here are your snacks." I threw the bags onto the kitchen counter and walked up to my room. I loved the quiet. I could not enjoy the quiet the outside had, so I enjoyed the one inside my room. My own little space. The place I did not have to do anything.

"I feel like everyone is just getting along with this. Like every body just got over it, without looking back and I am still standing at the point I was when it happened. At the point of shock and sadness and overwhelm when they told us that my father had a tumour, that changed his personality and that he killed four people, including him, because of that. My mother has friends coming over and she is working, my brother is working too and he goes out with friends and I am here. In therapy, because I can't leave the house without being overwhelmed by all those feelings. I have no friends, I haunted everyone away from me. How do I make this stop?" I was crying. It was the first time since it happened that I cried. I finally told someone how I felt because I didn't need to feel bad for dragging Beth down.

"Delilah, you have to move on. I want you to go outside because that was your thing, but now it cannot be like that anymore. Go outside, lay down on the grass and breathe. Go on walks. Spend time with people other than your mother. Do it and then breathe the pain away. Let it in and breathe it out."

The house was a mess when I came back. There were a dozen huge looking men's shoes in the hallway and jackets laying around. The loud noises could be heard outside, there were laughter and yelling and the noises of video games.

"Logan? Logan, damn it, where are you?" I yelled as loud as I could, because I knew exactly, that this was not agreed on.

"Hey little one, I thought it would take longer, sorry for the mess. I invited some friends over, I know you don't like that, but I thought this once was gonna be okay and you know-" Logan was rambling and smiling sheepishly at me, so I cut him off

"It's alright Logan, you live here too. I know this will sound weird, but is there any chance I can sit with you for a couple of minutes?" I saw the surprise on Logan's face "It's a therapy thing, you know, progress."

Logan smiled at me in a way I hadn't seen him smile since a while. "Sure, little one, that's good to hear."

The living room looked different than I thought, there were male bodies scattered in many different, funny looking positions. I had to blurt out a laugh at the view that presented itself to me.

"Everyone, this is my little sister Delilah. Y'all know the drill, you touch her, I'll kill one of you assholes." My brother grinned and led me to sit on one of the chairs, after kicking one friend of his away from it.

"Hey, I know you. You are the girl from the store, we saw you Tuesday." I recognized him as one of the guys who was in that store and then I looked around, just to see mystery-guy grin at me from the other side of the room.

"Yeah, yeah I am. I didn't know you and Logan were friends."

Against everything I expected, it was refreshing to spend time with them and I laughed a lot. At least until I wound up in the kitchen, because we were all hungry. I was rummaging through the fridge, when I heard his voice, one that I would recognize everywhere.

"Can you actually cook or will we just end up starving?" He stood in the middle of the room, grinning at me again.

"Yeah, actually I am really good at it, but the problem is we just don't have any food here I could make." He was really starting to annoy me. "So how about you just order some pizza?" I turned back around and closed the fridge.

"I didn't know you were my best friend's sister, I would have never said that to you. He talked about you, but I didn't know who you were. And by the way, the name is Chris." 

Hello to everybody who is reading this. I know the chapter isn't very long, but bear with me, I am still learning. 
Have a nice day!