Nighttime Blues

"Marni? Are you alright?" Mag treaded hesitantly down the stairs, peeking over the banister into the kitchen where a single light remained on. Marni was sitting at the table, motionless, head in her hands. The moment she heard Mag, however, she looked up immediately.

"Maggie! What are you doing up?" she gasped, sounding embarrassed at being caught looking like this.

"I woke up to use the bathroom only to realize that you weren't there and I got worried," Mag replied, the concern on her face deepening as she continued to walk down the stairs, getting a closer look at Marni's face. It was full of distress and despair. Mag's stomach jolted in worry at once.

"Marni? What's wrong?" even though her voice remained as soft as ever, there was a new note of urgency and fear in it now.

"Nothing, nothing. Nothing's wrong," Marni shook her head, trying to clear her face of its previous expression, but it was too late.

"Marni. I have Cornea Plus eyes now," Mag reminded her friend gently.

"Ah. Right," Marni's shoulders slumped. So, there was no use trying to hide it then, was there?

"Please, tell me what's wrong," Mag begged gently, finally taking a seat across the table from her best friend. There was another moment of silence between the pair as Marni continued to hold her tongue, but after long enough, she decided that just a little explanation wouldn't hurt...

But as it seemed to always go with Mag, a little explanation suddenly became a huge confession. Without even meaning to, Marni wound up pouring her heart and soul out to the other woman.

"And I confess, it's been getting worse. Almost every single night now, it seems, I wind up thinking about all this crap and I don't know what to do about it," Marni finally admitted, unable to look at Mag any longer. She turned her gaze down to the table as she wrung her hands embarrassedly.

"It's not depression, it's not anxiety, but it's not normal either. What is it, Maggie? What the heck is wrong with me?"

And there it was. Mag was no psychiatrist, but she couldn't help but think that Marni's "condition" was almost like seasonal depression, but on a nightly scale rather than a seasonal one. From all that she had said, Marni basically suffered from little bouts of depression and anxiety each night, no matter how good or bad the preceding day. Seemingly out of nowhere, every night, she would just be struck by so much pain and misery that sleep sometimes became impossible because all she could do was dwell on every problem in the universe. And the harder she tried to distract herself to break out of this mindset, the more persistent the pain became. Her typical solution was just to wait it out because she always felt better once the sun started coming up, and it didn't matter how painful the night became, the sunlight always made it better.

So that was why Marni was sitting in the kitchen alone. She was waiting for sunrise.

"Oh, Marni," Maggie got up and walked around the table to embrace Marni from behind. She had no words of comfort, but she still wanted to show her best friend that she was there to help and support. She was able to convey all that through the hug and she felt Marni sighing into her.

"I just hate being like this, Maggie, and I'm sorry you had to see me in one of these down times," she whispered as she held Mag's arms close. "I do thank you for letting me vent, though. I'm still really... distressed... but I feel just a tad bit better just knowing that you're here with me..."

"No, don't apologize for being vulnerable," Mag whispered back. "It's very strong and brave of you to be. And this is what friends are for. So any time these nighttime blues start giving you trouble, do you think you could come to me and let me just wait it out with you?"