The Broken Dancer

At First Sight

That night ended with Jimin performing as he was told and then slipping quietly out of the filthy bedroom in the early hours of the following morning. He was shivering and tears were pouring down his reddened cheeks, but Jimin was numb to the pain, focusing all his attention on walking in a straight line through the empty brothel and trying to make his way back to his room before his shaking legs collapsed from under him. After everything that had happened there was only one thing on Jimin's mind. One set of dark brown eyes and head of tousled black hair. Even after Jimin was forced to spend the night serving some other man, he could not get his mind off of the dark haired boy that had stared after him so intently the night before. And for the life of him, Jimin couldn't understand why. 

Jimin remembers the very first time his darling mother had spoken to him about true love. It had been years ago, a little before Jimin's seventh birthday but he still remembered every word she said clearly, as if they were just spoken to him yesterday. At the time Jimin just nodded along to her words, a little too young to understand the message clearly, let alone experience it for himself. But he remembers her kind smile as she ran her fingers through his thick locks of black hair, explaining to him what it's like to fall in love at first sight. She spoke with a warmth, as if speaking from experience but when Jimin had questioned if that was how she felt about his father she had gone quiet and had just smiled solemnly. Jimin could at least understand her reaction now. Her silence and sad smile clearly gave away that she had felt like that with somebody else, but Jimin knew - could see it clear as day back then - that she was in love with his father. Anyone would have to be blind not to see it. And Jimin could understand that too, because at a time, he too had loved his father. Loved his parents both equally. 

The minute he had arrived back into the safety of his bedroom, Jimin had made his way over to his joining bathroom and turned on the shower. No matter how tired or sore Jimin was after a night of work, he would never go straight to bed without cleaning off the filthiness and revolting memories that he had just experienced. Every night after his shower and change of fresh clothes he would then have to fight off his thoughts and force himself to get some sleep in order to prepare himself to do it all again the next day. But this night the thoughts came easy to him. Of course his mind still replayed his actions and flashes of images of what he had just done, but it was as if he was numb to it all having had to do it so many times before. So instead the nameless boy overtook his thoughts, and Jimin was scared.

Curling himself up in his white linen sheets, hair still dripping wet from his cold and quick shower, Jimin furrowed his eyebrows and bit his lip in worry. His mind went back to that night his mother had first told him about true love, causing Jimin to curl in on himself smaller. She had made it sound so wonderful. That the moment you were to lay eyes on someone you would just know, and would be unable to clear them from your mind. They would take up your every thought and always leave you with a burning passion to see them once more, but Jimin refused to believe that that's what he was feeling. It couldn't be. He had only made brief eye contact with the stranger and it was not enough to gain feelings or emotions of love, Jimin didn't even have enough time to take in his features and look at the man properly. There was no way he was experiencing passion, it was impossible. 

No, Jimin was only thinking about the handsome stranger because he was unlike anyone he had ever seen enter into the brothel before. Most of the customers he served were regulars and whenever there was a newcomer they would all be similar in looks. Usually sleazy old men or rich women looking for a quick escape from their disloyal husbands, covering their pain with a night of revenge with a pretty harlot. And considering most brothels had to be kept secret and underground this was one of the few places people knew that offered services for both men and women no matter their sexuality or interests.