High》ziall

High.15

Niall's POV

After school was over I called my dad to tell him I would be hanging out at Josh's house today .

I felt bad because most of the time at his house I was crying. It hurts a lot that Zayn broke up with me because I thought he loved me . People who love each other don't hit or harm one another , it's not good .

Right now Josh and I are cuddled up in his bed as I cried louder and louder with each sob . He played with the strands of my hair and shh'd me .

" You're going to be alright Ni , everything will be okay ." He told me and I nodded sniffling a bit .

" Kiss me Joshie ." I told him reaching up desperately .

" No .."

My lip started to quiver and he sighed pulling me closer .
" Ni don't cry ."

" I-i thought you liked me .. Why won't you kiss me ."

" Because Im not going to take advantage of you ; you're just lonely you don't really want me to kiss you ."

My eyebrows scrunched and I leaned toward him even more .
" Yes , I do .. I want to kiss you."

" No . Niall stop ." He said and I pouted .

" Later ? Please .."

" Maybe ." He told me and I smiled cuddling my head to his chest .
" Can you teach me things ? So people won't think Im dumb anymore ?"

" Niall i told you , you aren't dumb you're smart and amazing ." He said but I know he's lying to me . Every other boy in my grade knows things I don't know that I should know.

" Please teach me things ."

He sighed and when he agreed i smiled clapping my hands together shortly .
" What do you wanna know ?" He asked as we let go of each other and sat across from one another on the bed criss crossed legs .

" Okay first .. Is kissing the same thing as f-fucking ?" I tried my best to repeat the word Zayn said to me earlier.

" Who taught you that word?"

" Zayn said it to me earlier .." I told him and he rolled his eyes.
" No , it's not the same thing kissing is what I did to to you fucking is sex ."
He told me but I still looked at him blank spaced .

" Sex is when either of the two main categories male and female , like .. Make each other feel good ." He said and I laughed .

" Zaynie and I did that ." Shortly after I said this my lip quivered once again , we broke up after we did sex .

" Zaynie broke up with me and we did sex ."

" Niall you don't do sex , you have sex .

I went to Josh's bathroom in his room and threw up again for the third time today .

I washed my mouth with the Listerine he had on the counter and we've back into his room.
" Ni you should really go to the hospital to get checked out."

" I'm fine , I don't need to go to the doctor ." I smiled even though I felt my tummy rumble a bit .

" Okay tell me if you change your mind , alright ?"

" Alright ." I agreed climbing back into the bed .

" Do you want to kiss me now?" I asked and he nodded, grabbing the side of my face and connecting his lips to mine it feels different kissing him , He's so careful and soft .. I know he's trying hard not to hurt me and with Zayn he's rough and rugged .

I did to him what Zaynie does to me sometimes and I think he didn't like it because he told me to stop . All I did was crawl into his lap , is it really that bad?

" No , no , no Niall get out ."

" W-what ? And go where ?"

" Nowhere just get out my room for a minute , alright ?" He said , as he was tugging onto his hair .

I crawled off his lap and left his room , tears stinging my eyes because I don't know what I did wrong .

Zayn's POV

Louis and I sat in my room lot cigarette in between my fingers.

I mentally rolled my eyes when my dad came into my room.
" Isn't this why you don't have a door now ? Put it out !"

" No , if you don't want to smell it or see it get out my room." I told him simply shrugging blowing the smoke of my mouth.

" Disgusting ! We raised you better than this Zayn .."

" Who's we ? You mean my grandma ? You and mum didn't do shit to help raise me. You two hardly even see me so save the bullshit , Alright ? Both of you are shitty parents."

" We tried with you Zayn ."

" Whatever .. Look , I'm leaving don't wait up ." I said signalling for Louis to get up and I pushed past my dad Louis following me out the house .

I always try to avoid talking about my parents . They are the main reason I turned to drugs in the first place . They were never home , they always dumped me on my grandma before she died and I never truly felt like they cared about me enough .

I lost respect for my dad every since I was around 14 years old . I just remember my mum screaming and screaming for him to get off of her and to stop hitting her ...he never did . I'll forever think of her as an idiot for still staying with him .
They always go on vacations just to avoid talking about that night and I think them avoiding their problems has somehow been generated to me .

I always avoid my problems and when people keep adding on to it , I explode . My temper is something I need to work on and I have to learn how to deal with my emotions and problems in another way other than smoking , using my fist , or yelling .

" Zayn , you alright mate ?" Louis snapped me out my thoughts as we drove down the street .

" Y-yeah , Im fine ."

I'm not fine at all .

I miss my boyfriend . Well my ex boyfriend and I just want to apologize and cuddle him and beg on my knees for his forgiveness because I fucked up . I always take forever to realize what I have right in front of me .

I shouldn't have hit him .. The only thing I should be doing is loving him and I'm a bad boyfriend. I let my mood swings affect his smile in so many negative ways . I wasn't happy and I drug him down with me .

I have to get him back , anyway I can .. I have to try.

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Yay or nay ?

So this is short but I'm double updating so it doesn't matter

Once again pls vote for me in the holiday bromance awards undiscovered ziall stories !

Who's your least favorite and favorite character ?

Bye baes x