Falling into Pieces

Chapter 17

Voices!  I can hear them but my eyes don’t open.  I will my body to move but it doesn’t.  Mom! Please. Mom, help me. Did I say that out loud?  I don’t think I did, nobody answered me.  I drift off closing the world out.   

     Crying! Who is crying?  Why won’t my eyes open?  Why won’t my arms move?  I hear my mom talking to someone.  A nurse I think.  Mom!  I’m here mom. Mom! Why won’t anyone answer me? 

     “Stella, I know you can hear me.”  Carter.  He’s here I want to see him.  I command myself, open eyes...  Damn it! Why won’t my eyes open?  Aw, Carter I’m here.  I can hear you. Did he leave?  I feel his hand on top of mine.  I try to grab his but I can’t.   “Stella, wake up.  Please just wake up.”  My heart is breaking as his soft sobs come out of his mouth.  I feel his lips lightly brush my head and then all feeling of him is gone.

     Wait! No! Carter, please don’t leave me.  I. Love. You!  My eyes won’t open, no one can hear me.  I just want to go back to sleep where I can be by myself.  If I can’t have Carter then I don’t want anything.    

                                                                   

***

     My eyes flutter open.  The lights are off except for one in the corner.  That little bit of light is still too bright. I move my head slowly to look around the room.  A pain shoots up both sides of my head.  I’m in a hospital room.  It’s dark outside, so it must be night.  

     My body feels like it has been hit by a freight train.  My arm is in a cast.  I have bandages around my ribs and the rest of my body feels sore.  I really need to go pee.  No one is in my room and I can’t find a call light.  I decide to try to get up.  I refuse to wet the bed.

     It takes all of my strength to try to shove the blanket off of me.  I’m trying to be careful to not put weight on my arm when I sit up.  As I’m sitting up my back is throbbing in pain. I scoot towards the edge, swinging my legs off of the bed. 

     I get dizzy so I sit there for a minute before I attempt to stand. Finally, I feel like maybe I could try.  I slide my butt to the edge of the bed.  I hope I can just slide off into a standing position. I get my feet on the ground.  It feels okay until I put all my weight down to walk.   

     Before I can even question what I’m doing I take a step forward.  This causes pain up my legs. I lose my balance hitting the tray table next to my bed.  It tips over spilling everything onto the floor. I fall face first to the ground.  My head bangs against the floor.  Everything is going black again.   

      I hear a commotion going on.  I hear people screaming.  It must be a nurse.  I feel myself being lifted and people are touching me. Wait, what is happening? I’m okay let go of me.  I try to open my eyes but nothing happens. Why? I feel tears in my eyes.  Are they falling?  Can they see them? Please help me. After a few minutes the darkness settles in taking over again.

                                                              

***

     Crying!  I hear it again.  There are two people crying this time not just one.  I hear a voice it sounds like Dakota.  “Stella, please open your eyes.”  I can’t take the sadness and pain in her voice. I miss her.   I need to open my eyes.  They won’t.  I don’t hear anything.  Wait, I think she left.

     I feel someone Else coming towards me.  Carter.  I know it’s him before he says anything.  Everything changes around me.  I feel better when he’s here.  His hand brushes my hair away from my face.  I hear him sniffling, he must be crying.  His voice is breaking as he tries to talk, “Stella.” Why can’t I open my eyes?  Please?  No, here comes the darkness.