cityboy and farmgirl~bughead

chapter 8

betty was sitting infront of me, leaning against a tree. I was sitting infront of her, my eyes busy on the painting I'm making and her face at the same time.

I look at her compelling greene eyes and try to replicate the brightness in them. I stare at the small freckles that fill her lighr pink cheeks and smile a little, thinking it was one of the cutest things. I make the small hairs that won't stuck in her two ponytails and look back at her, trying to put every small detail in my drawing.

it's been 4 months since the last time I painted and it's very weird but also very nice to do again. I was always afraid that when I paint that I would miss my mom even more then I already do. but it's kind of the oppisite of that, I feel even closer to her then I've ever did after she left home for the last time.

"So grumpy, why are you always wearing black?" She asked me breaking the peacefull silence.

I look at her and think for a moment before awnsering, "Everyone is always pretending who they are. i'm not, so when you see me you know exactly who I am. Without all the fake smiling and laughing and everything. When people see me they think I'm a stupid emo teenager, and hey! That's what I am" I explained to her.

She smiled sadly at me, "well I smile, and i'm not fake" she said her voice soft, and she reached out carefully grabbing my hand.

I look down at out linked hands and smile a little at her, "that's treu, you're just a rambler and a stupid goat lover" I tease her, earning a scoff.

"I do not ramble. I'm not even a talker" she said while looking at me sternly. I chuckle a little at her awnser, "oh yeah sure, you never talk!" I say sarcastically.

She scoffed again but stayed quiet this time. I carefully unwrap my hand from hers and start to keep going with the painting again, enjoying the peacefull silence that once again fall over us like a warm and trustworthy blanket, wrapping me tightly in it.

But of course, Betty needs to talk again.
"It would do you good if you start wearing something else then black" she said to me with a smile.

I admidietly shake my head no and look at her, "no. My life is still the same darkness as it was 3 weeks ago" I said to her making her pout.

"It's not, I made you laugh, smile and I made you take that beannie off when we went swimming" she said with a smirk, looking like she just won the lottery.

"I hated taking my beannie off" I said cringing at the idea to do it again, I never want to take this off again.

"Why?" She asked me curiously, and I notice that every time she is curious and wants to ask something that her eyebrows go together, and her head tilts a bit to the right. It's very cute.

"Because my mom knitted it for me" I said to her, and looked at her eith a face that said, 'end of conversation'. A face that normally always works on people.

Well it didn't work work for her.

Of course it doesn't, I mean when does she ever really shut up...never!

"Where is your mom?" She asked me quietly, knowing this is a very sensetive qeustion for me.

I freeze and look at her in sadness, I need to say it now. I know I do, I need to say the words I never say. I've never said them, I was always scared that if I was actually said into words that she died, That she might never come back to me.

"She...she is dead" I said to her, my voice coming out hoarse and full of emotion. The words got stuck in the back of my mind and now I brought them back in the front. That is what she is, dead. She isn't coming back, and the tought is still very unreal and painfull for me. Just knowing that she will never hug me again, or paint with me. i will never hear her loud voice yeling at me and JB again, or her and my dad kissing in the kitchen I hated it back then but now I even miss that.

I see her whole face change and look at me, her eyes loose the joy for a second and pitty and sadness replaces it. I was ready for the pitty words, for the sorrys and the I know how you feel because my hamster died when I was 4 speech. She didn't do any of those things.

She stood up, removed the paint stuff I had on my lap and placed herself on my lap, she wrapped her arms tightly around my neck and gave me a warm and big embrace.

I froze in her arms, and my whole body was stiff, I didn't know ehat to do right now. But she didn't stop hugging, she just held onto me even tighter and gave my cheek a kiss.

Soon I wrapped my own arms around her and hugged her back, maybe even tighter then she was. This is one of those things that you don't know you need, until you have it.

After what felt like second but were actually minutes she pulled away a little and looked deep in my eyes.

"I wish I could say that I know what your pain feels like, but I don't. And I'm not even going to pretend I do. I do know that you're hurting, a lot. And I know that you act like you do because you're scared, scared for everything. But I tell you now that you don't have too be" she said while placing her small warm hand on my cheek.

I look at her and love fills my eyes, I never truly realised how beautiful she actually was. How inspiring she always has been. How much she already changed my life in this short of a time periodt.

"You can't say that. 5 months ago everything was fine, we were still with the four of us and it was all perfect. 4 months ago my mom went to her friend to help her. And she never came back! Betty she never came back...and I...all I feel is fear because if she could just leave me like that, who say you can't"

I say to her and I'm interupted by my own sobbing, betty's hand stays on my cheek and she wiped the tears away. She places her forhead on mine and closes her eyes, I do the same and it was very weird but I felt calm.

Calm in her warm embrace, peace with finally saying the words that were stuck in my troath for a way to long of a time. And relief, relief that Betty actually helps me and not over trow me with selfpitty.

"Thank you" I say to her after I open my eyes again. She smiled at me, and he eyes are filled with the same love I have in mine.

"Don't worry jug" she said, and I smile at her. Not grumpy annymore, I've upgrated to Jug. And I think it's the cutest when she says it. I never noticed it before but she very cute, and pretty.

A few hours later I'm in my room, staring at all the closed boxes that are still in my room. I grab the first one I see and go sit on the hard wooden floor infront of it.

I was busy opening it when my the floor creaked beside me. I look up and see my sister standing there with a grin on her face, "do you need some help?" She asked me.

I smile at her and pat the space next to me on the floor, "yes I do" I said returning the smile.

So that's how I spent the evening, me and my sister on the floor unpacking stupid stuff I packed. And her laughing at me because I also still had a box with all my dungeons and dragons stuff, I mean what can I say? I might relaly need it some day. I don't know when but that's not important.

It's been a pretty long time ago since me and JB actually talked and not yelled at each other. And this was a very nice change,

I liked all these changes so far.

1444 words.