Bullied bye the Nj boys

Depression depression

I woke up at 2 in the morning and was just staring at the wall thinking about everything.

☁️he doesn't really love me☁️

(☁️ means thoughts)

☁️he is acting☁️

I just started crying and couldn't stop I wanted to be done with life I wanted to be gone and make everyone happy...so I got up and put on my shoes and opened my door and saw that mattia and the boys where up in his room so I sneaked out of the window and started walking to the bridge.

Once I got there I thought for a little and was just looking at the dark sky,then I remembered why I'm here so I pulled out my phone and took a insta pic

Caption:Dear depression:you won,ok you won.i gave my all.im tired,so bye now
Comments:
Mattiapolibio:where tf are you come home
User:is she gonna kill herself
Kairi:plz don't
Alvaro:come home
Alejandro:HA
User6:plz don't do nothing

I looked at the sky then looking down and just kept looking down then I leaned forward and......I felt my arm get pulled I looked at mattia pulled me into a hug and I started bursting into tears

Tia:DONT EVER FUCKING DO THIS AGAIN

Ari:I *cries*cant *cries* do this anymore

Tia:do what

Ari:mattia I'm not happy I'm not skinny like the others I'm not like everyone's dream girl mattia I'm ugly ans worthless and.........

Tia:and what

Ari:......

Tia:AND WHAT ARIANNA

Ari:depression is getting the best of me ok I'm really tired I just want to Rest In Peace and feel free not trapped in my mind with all these stupid thoughts

Tia:and killing yourself if gonna help!!!!

Ari:YES YES IT IS IM TIRED I BEEN TORED FOR FUCKING THREE YEARS NOW I WANT TO REST

Tia:let's go I'm not letting you kill your self

Ari:no leave unless you wanna see me die infront of your face

He walked away and I took a deep breath and leaned forward again. Till mattia took me over his shoulder and ran

Ari:Let me go now!!

Tia:no

He pushed me in the car and started driving I was silent the hole time and once we got to the house I got out of the car and went inside and rang to my room and locked the door and went to the bathroom and took out my makeup and did a makeup look and posted on insta

Caption:no one knows
Comments:
Mattiapolibio:know what
User:what happened
User0:what can't you tell us
Kairi:tell us now come downstairs
Hater:seeking for attention
Alvaro:come downstairs

One thing no one knows is that I got rapped a year ago and I been traumatized and I hate when anyone touches me or I'm scared to get friends because what if they do the same thing.

*flashback a year ago*
I was walking down the street to go to the corner store to get mattia a bag of chips and as I was walked back a van pulled up next to me so I started walking bye faster and faster then I felt someone pull me back so I was about to scream till they put there hands over my mouth and put me in the car

????:listen you little bitch your gonna do what I say or get killed

I looked at him in fear and nodded my head,we was driving for about 5 minutes till we stopped at a house and he picked me up and walked inside I tried to get out of his grip but he was two strong then he slapped my butt and put me on the bed

???:take all your clothes off and if they aren't then I'll kill you

I started taking them off and I was scared then he started kissing me and I tried to push him off then he started going down to my (yk) and kissed it then took his pants off and slammed himself into me I was screaming and my body was numb and once he was done he layed down next to me and fell asleep so I got the opportunity to get up but it hurt so I pushed through it and put my clothes on and walked out and I saw I was on my way next to my house so I then I had to stop at the store again and pick up another bag of chips because I really didn't feel like getting beat today once I got back I gave him the chips and he slapped me and I walked up to my room and cried for the rest of the night.

*end of flashback*

I was looking at myself in the mirror and started crying till someone burst into the doors and it was mattia and the boys

Kai:wow that makeup look is good

Tia:what can't you tell us what don't we know

Rosh:you could tell us anything

Alv:come on

Ari:uh-guys I cant cane you plz leave I'm gonna hop in the shower

Tia:no tell us now

Ari:no

Tia:yes tell us now Arianna

Ari:I SAID NO...now leave

They walked out and I went into the shower and washed off and took the makeup off.

Then I walked downstairs and got water and I turned around and saw mattia

Tia:Arianna

Ari:yes?

Tia:I love you

Ari:I love you too

Tia:plz tell me what's wrong

Ari:ok but you need to keep it a secret

Tia:ok  he pulled me to the other room

Ari:ok so remember a year ago when you told me to go get you chips

Tia:yeah why

Ari:well *tears up* I-I-

Tia:you what

Ari:I got rapped

He looked at me in shock then came up to me and hugged me I started crying so so much and he kissed my forehead

Tia:why didn't you tell me

Ari:I wasn't ready

Tia:well I'm here now and I won't let no one touch you ok

Ari:ok I said and hugged him again