Secretly

Chapter 1

So this is like prolougue kind of thing. But I will be counting it as a chapter. There is no 1D members in this chapter but there will be on the next one. :) Hope you like
it!

Beeeeep. Beeeep. I wake up to the sound of my alarm. Still half asleep, I jump in the shower hoping that it will awaken me. Wearing my white strapless top (with a cute unbuttoned H&M blazer) and the black skinny jeans I bought yesterday (which btw outline my curves perfectly), I come out of the shower. That's when I realize my parents aren't home. As usual. Honestly, I don't really know where they are most of time.

I eat a bowl of lucky charms for breakfast and head out the door leaving for school. Then realize I was forgetting my backpack. I could already tell this was going to be a bad day.

"Hey babe," Zach, my boyfriend, greets me as I get in his yellow mustang. Zach's eyes are dark blue, similar to deep ocean waters. His hair is a blonde that compliments his skin tone perfectly.

Zach usually gives me a ride to school, even though I don't need one. I've got my own car and could drive myself to school. Yet, Zach insist on driving me because "that's what a good boyfriend does."

When we get to school, our friends are waiting for us at the stairs in front of the building, as usual. I walk up to Jennifer my best friend. She's a junior (11th grade) just like me.

"Annie Bannie! you won't believe what happened to me yesterday!"Annie Bannie isn't really my name, that's just what Jennifer calls me when she's exited, which is often. My actual name is Analuana. Analuana Amore.

"Good morning to you too," I answer smiling at her.

"Jake texted me last night!" she replies ignoring my comment, her black hair flowing perfectly with the wind. "He wanted to know if I was going to the football game on Friday."

"OhMyGod!" I answer, now sharing the excitement. This was actually a big deal considering we had tried to get Jake to notice Jennifer for over a year now. As a middle schooly as it sounds; Jennifer has a major crush on Jake, a junior whos the quarterback of the football team.

Just then, the bell rings and we both leave to our class. First period, I have English. Great. Ms. Paul is possibly the worst English teacher ever. When I walk in the classroom I hear something I wasn't ready for. "Test Day," Ms. Paul announces with her old voice.

I take a seat next to David, Zach's best friend. "You look down today," he says.

"Not the best day," I mutter more to myself than him.

I spend the rest of the period thinking about anything but the test in front of me. Since I'm cheerleading captain and my boyfriend is the captain of the football team, I couldn't exactly get a good grade on the test anyways. I'm the typical high school girl with the so called "perfect life." And since I was that girl I couldn't get good grades or my reputation would be ruined. I always get grades good enough to pass, but never too good.

The bell rings indicating the end of the period. I immediately walk out, not even bothering to hand the my blank test to Ms. Paul. Outside of the classroom I spot Zach waiting for me. He puts his arm around my waist and walks me to my next class. David catches up to us after a few seconds.

"She's having a bad day," he reports to Zach. Uhhh what was that? Did he not notice I was right here? Ugh.

"Look at it on the bright side," Zach tells me. "Those jeans fit you perfectly," he says with a wink. Immediately I feel his hand pinching my bum. OK Zach was such an asshole at times. I'm having a bad day and thats all he cares about?

I never admitted to anyone that I thought Zach was an asshole. Sometime Jennifer tries to get me to because she seemed to be the only other person who notices, but I never admitted it.

I just can't afford to get my reputation ruined. Dating a senior(12 grade) gives me "popularity". (Not that my intentions are to use him, I truly did have feelings for him when we began dating. He has just made it difficult to keep those feelings.)  I'm known as the "hottest cheerleader," "Zach's girlfriend," and basically the "it" girl. My "perfect life" at high school is all I have. At home my life isn't so great.

-

During fourth period, right before lunch, I started feeling sick. So I left early and went home. I had to walk home since Zach had driven me to school. I don't really mind though since my house isn't far. As I walk home I call my mom remembering her and dad aren't home. My parents usually go on LOTS of trips so they aren't usually home.

"I'm currently busy right now, please leave a message after the tone.. Beep." I'm sent directly to voicemail.I try my dad's cell and get the same results.

When I'm finally home I go straight to my room hoping to take a mid-day nap.

I just can't fall asleep. I think about where my parents could be. I should be used to their absence by now, but I'm not. What I cant get my head around each time is why they never take me on their trips. When I ask them they tell me it's because I have school. But still. There's summer vacations and we get lots of breaks during the school year.

I think the reason why they don't really love me is because of May.

May was my big sister. I don't really remember her much. The only thing I recall of her is all the beautiful songs she would play on the piano. She'd even sing me to sleep sometimes. I was five when the accident happened. She was only fifteen.

We lived in NewYork back then. That's where May and I were born.

One sunny day, ironically in the month of May, she went missing. She just never came home from school. There had been an amber alert, and everyone was looking for her. Those hours were full of worry and some hope. Hope that would soon shatter into pieces and leave us a mess.

The next day a search crew found her at the city dump. She had been abused and was now dead. Whoever had done that to her just threw her away in the dump. It was such a sad and terrible phase for my family. I was too young to completely understand what had happened, but I knew I was never to see May again. My parents and I were devastated so the next week my parent decided we were moving to California, where we live today. This was the begining of a series of running away from problems. 

I'm now seventeen meaning twelve years have passed. But my parents don't seem to get over the accident. I understand it's hard for them though. Specially with me around. I'm almost an exact replica of May. Same hazel eyes, same light brown hair. My parents cant even look at me for too long, I guess because of the reminder of her.

May is also the reason I think every month of May my parents, my parents go on vacations. They leave the country for the whole month trying to run away from the reality that she's gone.

It kind of bothers me that they don't seem to get the fact that she's dead. They seem to forget they still have me. I try to be as understanding as possible. They travel to run away from the present.

But seriously why don't they realize that I miss her too. What kind of parents leave their child alone the month of the accident. The month when i need the most emotional support. 

I think that they do realize they aren't such great parents. That's why they buy me so many things. I have two cars already and LOTS of clothes. And I mean lots! More than I could possibly wear in a year. I get new phones all the time. I get to go to any concerts I want. I have it all, and don't get me wrong I am so thankful for that. But honesty, I'd rather have the love of my parents than all the stuff they get for me to try and make up of their absence.

I snap out of my day dream when I hear my cell phone ringing. I get up to answer it hoping it'll be my parents but instead its Zach. "Heyy," I answer.

"What happened babe. Where are you?" he asks concerned.

"I started feeling sick. So I left," I say.

"You should have told me. I could have took you home," he says.

"Nah, it's no big deal," I say.

As soon as we hang up, I finally fall asleep forgetting about all my worries.

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