𝙳𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝙻𝚎𝚝 𝙼𝚎 𝙱𝚎 𝙶𝚘𝚗𝚎 - 𝙶𝚎𝚘𝚛𝚐𝚎 𝚡 𝚏𝚎𝚖! 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

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Trigger warnings: negative thoughts, mentions of self harm, su!c!dë

(1216 words)
~~~~~
Y/n pov

Today was the day. I've had enough, I can't do this anymore. I've tried and I've tried but nothing works. I always relapse, I never move forward.

I live alone in this apartment, just me and my golden retriever, Sunshine. I need someone, but no one needs me. My only friend is George, I've known him since we were kids. Yeah I like him, but I doubt he likes me. And I'm never one to make the first move.

I roll out of bed with a heavy heart, knowing what I'm about to do. I check my phone and it's noon. I go into twitter and type a tweet to my fans; I do YouTube with George.

Hey everyone, I hope your day is better than mine! Okay I love you all, goodbye. 💕💞💖💘✨🏹

It didn't sound like the goodbye that it was. The bow and arrow emoji was my thing, since I had a quiver on the back of my Minecraft character. I've been shooting since I was twelve, that's why it's my thing.

I draw a warm bath, and find my razor blades. I call George, and it goes to voicemail. Which is what I was hoping for. I listen to his voice one last time through the voicemail he had set before leaving a message.

"Hey George, I know we've been friends since forever. And I'm so glad for that. But I'm going to have to cut that short. I know I promised you that I would never cut myself again, and that I would call you when I needed help. Well, don't worry because I'm just fine. I know you'll probably hear this when I'm gone, and I just want to thank you for the memories. I love you, Georgiepoo." I sounded really emotional at the end, my voice wavering.

I shut my phone off and gave Sunshine fresh food and water and kiss the top of her head, and I hugged her tight. "I love you Sunshine, you've been the goodest of all the girls." I say, and then go into the bathroom, closing the door. I don't bother to lock it, someone has to find me.

If someone finds me I don't want to be naked, so I just slip in the water with shorts and a sports bra on. I haven't eaten in days, and my rips are starting to show. I take a ton of whatever pills I have in my medicine cabinet and then I take a razor blade and cut my wrist, grunting because it was deep. I cut the other wrist too, both on the main vessel.

The bath water turns red, and everything goes dark.

George's pov

I wake up and realize I missed a call from Y/n. I get out of bed and decide to listen to it.



"...thank you for the memories. I love you Georgiepoo." My heart sank and I panicked. Not bothering to fix my hair or anything, I rush out the door. I was wearing black shorts and a grey shirt, I slipped my grey crocks on and grabbed my keys, heading straight for my car. I rush to turn it on, anxiety flowing through my veins as tears stream down my face. I've liked her for so long, I was planning on confessing soon, we're both still so young.

I lived five minutes away from Y/n, and I sped the whole way there. I call the police once I'm at the apartment door. I finish the call once I'm at the top steps. I hear her dog howling and barking tremendously. I try the door handle and it's unlocked. "Y/n!" I call as a sob escaped my lips. I see the dog scratching at the bathroom door, so I rush over.

I open it, not caring for privacy. What I see brings me to my knees. "Y/N!! Y/N WAKE UP!!" I yell through the sobs. Her face emotionless and pale. The bath water was red, I checked for a pulse in her neck.

She was gone. I'm on my hands and knees next to her body, sobbing my eyes out and pleading for her to come back to me. Sunshine comes to my side and consoles me, she is an esa dog. (ESA means emotional support animal btw)

I hug the dog and sob, and the tears don't stop. Everything was blurry and I was light headed. I couldn't breathe I was sobbing so hard. "Y/n.." I whisper.

Moments later the cops enter, pulling me aside. I curl up in a ball on the floor and sob my heart out, heart breaking sounds coming from my own being.

ಠ_ಠ

It was raining outside, everyone had a black umbrella. I had Clay by my side, our hands gripped together tightly; In an act of comfort. I lowered my head, saying my final goodbye to the peaceful girl.

Clay and I get back to my apartment. I go to the bathroom, but after I wash my hands I look at the tub and see the traumatizing images from when I found her. I yelp and the tears start rolling down my face again.

I run out of the bathroom in a panic and Clay quickly comes to comfort me. He hugs me tight and I bury my face into his shoulder, sobbing my eyes out. I feel a hand on the back of my head as he ran his fingers through my hair. "George, hey, I'm right here. You're okay." His voice always calms me. I ball you his hoodie in my fists and cry harder.

"She's gone Clay," I try to inhale but my breaths are too quick. "I know. I'm so sorry." He says. My knees become weak and I can't stand anymore. Clay notices and he lowers us to the floor.

Thunder hums outside, and the darkness outside matches my mood as we hear the hard rain falling on the rooftop.

"George, I know she's gone. And I'm going to be here for you through every high and every low you have. I'm not going back to Florida until I know you're okay." He says calmly, and continues to play with my hair. "What about Patches?" I ask, trying to distract myself. "Patches is with my mom." Clay says.

"And you have Sunshine, George. And Y/n is always in your heart." He says. It's true, she earned a special place in my heart. Sunshine is now my ESA dog. But right now she's sleeping in the living room, on the fluffy carpet.

"Thank you Clay." Is all I managed to mutter before crying again. "It's all going to be okay, George." He says as he hold me close, I weakly hug him back and I close my eyes as I rest my head on my best friends shoulder. "You can rest, George, I've got you." He says, not letting go of me. I manage another weak "thank you" before drifting off, feeling secure, and feeling loved.

(❍ᴥ❍ʋ)

I'm sorry I killed you. Please don't kill yourself, if you are struggling in life and you need someone to vent to, my pm's are always open to all, and I'm more than willing to talk with y'all. <<333

I love you and thanks for reading!

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