Poems From The Soul

i fucked up lmao.

Regret makes itself at home in my blissful mind. The walls begin to cave in right before my eyes.

All I've wanted freedom, I found that in a person, and I abandoned her.
She's still in my mind for all of my waking hours, and that's where she's always been.

I so often try to change how I feel, shouldn't I know by now that it always ends up bad?

I need to just allow myself to feel, and embrace the worry. Embrace the risk, plummet into the chances, before they get lost.

I hurt the one person who is actually in my life who always makes everything okay.

Even on the days where I question if I am even alive, she comes in like a warm blanket on a cold winter day.
Like hot cider on a crisp autumn night. Like a sweet breeze in the spring, or like a cool glass of lemonade in the hot summer.

While she brings comfort, she also brings inspiration.
She brings freedom, she sets my soul free.
She brings love, like no other love known before.
She brings a sense of everything good in this world.

She's truly where my thoughts live, no matter how much I tried to change that for someone who isn't even a luke-warm bitter glass of lemonade on a scorching hot summer day.

Am I in love with her? Yes, but in a romantic way? That's hard to say. It's almost more than that. I think that its beyond us, it's beyond this world. I know I've known her before, I know we have lived lives together. My soul is so very fond of hers.
She is, in everyway, my soulmate. Take that as you will.
I hope she stays in my life, without her there would be nothing but grey.
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Pep
July 10th 2020

Much love.

Edit/// sunshine, OOP just realized ur gonna read this. I'm sorry for every fucked up thing ive done to you. I fucking mean that more than words could say. Idk. I feel like a brick of mud tonight.