The Woman My Grandmother Loved.

Chapter Twelve

"If he loved you with all the power of his soul in a lifetime, he couldn't love you as much as I do in a single day."

Emily Brontë.

The ominous knock sounded late at night. Bhuwan and Jha hadn't returned in time for dinner and Usha was busy with the visitors she was used to having. By now, Anita was used to her sister-in-law's infidelity and knew that her brother was up to the same in London.

But it was time to go to bed and Anita was tired. The lack of conversation with Jha all day had drained her more than she had expected it to. She was only glad for Becky whose sunny disposal made her feel like all was well with the world. She's more my sun than I am hers, Anita mused and wondered if she ought to tell Becky that the next time around when she met her. The reaction it would elicit from Becky made Anita smile, her heart soaring a little.

And then the knock resounded against the door; and even without opening it, she knew it was him.

Jha remembered the little walk he had taken to clear his head. Bhuwan had been acting as though he were his parent and the concern- though well meaning-made Jha feels really suffocated. When either one of them was going through an awful break-up, they usually resorted to drinking and bitching until Anita walked in and scolded them. But now none of it was possible because Bhuwan wouldn't ever talk foul about Anita and she wouldn't scold him for the hurt she was responsible for.

So, he told Bhuwan he needed some fresh air and set out for a walk. He had been walking a little further from the house when he had seen both Anita and her friend Becky stop in the middle of the road. They hadn't seen him for he was well covered by the honeysuckle bushes that grew at the turning where he was standing. He couldn't see Anita for her back was facing her and he was just about to turn away; for she was the last person he wanted to run into.

But then she had done something unexpected. She stood on her tiptoes just like she had the previous night in front of him.

Becky was slightly taller than her just the way he had been slightly taller than her the previous night.

And then, she had kissed the girl.

For a second, Jha couldn't even understand what was going on for it seemed bizarre and out of the world; something he knew existed but hadn't believed it existed so close to him. And the girl had kissed her back as they held each other and the only thing Jha could think was this is wrong, over and over again.

He didn't care that it was a woman Anita was kissing as much as he cared that it wasn't him. It was wrong because he was supposed to be there. But he wasn't and Becky was.

How on earth was he supposed to compete with that? The thought made him laugh and he realised how close he was to hysteria for now it seemed funny that his competition wasn't some twenty-two-year-old overconfident man like he had suspected it to be.

And with what had remained of his sanity, he had turned around before they had spotted him and later when he was sipping on his beer at some pub in the town, he realised what had actually made him laugh. Becky wasn't a competition; she would never be competition because he, Jha had never been running the race. He had only believed he was and thus had run in circles, loving a woman who didn't want a man.

And thus, with both anger and bitterness of a jilted lover and a fair bit of self-pity which led him to believe himself to be a victim, he knocked on Anita's door to let her know that he knew more so than to get an explanation.

"Jha. Come in." She said softly, as she smiled at him and he could feel his anger rising. Smiling as though there was nothing wrong in her world. As though he were playing the role he was destined to play; as though she had never, never even for a second dreamed of a future with him.