In The Shadows: Part I

The O2

The final notes of Treat People with kindness reverberate in the arena sounding at once heavenly and overwhelming. Blue lights, slowly dimming made the crowd less and less visible as the platform lowered. Mitch Rowland, a seasoned guitarist flexed his fingers to relieve the cramped muscles after a night of playing and strumming. He offered a little smile to the crowd as Harry Styles, exuberant and charged, did silly dances as he waved goodbye to the mass of screaming fans. The bells on his sleeves making sharp jingles ring in the air. On anyone else, such histrionics would fall flat and seem forced. But Harry had a charm and sparkle that made everything he did endearing.  His golden boy persona only tugged at your heartstrings, after all, that was the same charm that had convinced Mitch to drop everything and follow this curly haired rockstar around the world. And what a ride!

It was the final show on the European leg of Harry's 2020 Love on Tour. As soon as the lights went off, he and the rest of the band started to pack up as the roadies helped to move everything back to the trucks. No one expected the band to stick around and help but Mitch couldn't go backstages just yet knowing Sarah Jones would be there. Sarah who had once made him laugh and smile with her other worldly beauty and who now only offered him tense smiles. He couldn't stand to watch Charlotte, Nyoh and Adam play the balancing game and not choose sides. Not that there was any bad blood. Mitch and Sarah had just slowly gotten together officially after their last round of tours had come to an end in 2018. Still they had stayed together. In fact when Harry released Fine Line and the promo performances had started they had only seemed stronger. However, the past few weeks had felt strained and they drifted slowly apart. It got so awkward and difficult to ignore the widening gap in their relationship that Sarah suggested they go their separate ways once tour started up for the sake of professionalism. Now 2 months later and they barely interacted apart from a small smile here and there.

"Hey Mitchell, man! You were fucking great!"

Mitch was pulled out of his moping by that loud voice with its unmistakable unidentifiable accent, the product of near constant travel.

"You almost fell of the stage twice so someone had to save the show", he replied in his deep quiet voice.

Harry threw him a mock frown and clasped his arms around him.

"Come out with us then, Jeff is taking a couple of us to his friend's new pub and it's fairly new so it's all very lowkey."

"Haz, I-"

"She's going home with Charlotte, if that's the excuse you're about to throw mate"

Mitch turned and looked at Harry to find a polite way to decline. Unlike his bandmates, his energy run out at the end of  a show, none of the euphoric glee the rest were full off. But as he looked at him, he could tell that Harry needed the night out almost as much as Mitch needed the night off. He nodded in approval and moved to his bag so they could leave, Harry skipping almost manicly off the stage.

1 hour later, after a quick stop for food and a detour to avoid being papped, they pulled up to the The Sharks Arm. He shared an amused glance with Adam, the other guitarist, at the ridiculous name as they headed in.

The warmth of bodies and haze of smoke enveloped them as they filed in. The noise levels were high but they couldn't compare the din of hundreds of screaming fans so Mitch felt comfortable. He wandered off on his own to the bar to grab a drink, if he was going to get through this night he was going to need a little liquid courage.

"Can I get a vodka cran?"

Two voices merged and trailed off as the realized they were speaking in unison. The bodies from which the voices emerged froze and turned to each other. Brown and eyes and wild curls knocked the wind out of Mitch and he was unable to utter a single word. She offered him a small confused smile, grabbed the first drink the bartender offered and disappeared. The glitter on her body and the sheen of her silky dress caught the light unnaturally and made her seem to Mitch like an already forgotten dream.

He was about to follow her when he saw Harry being ushered out the back. He had garnered some attention and was trying to prevent it from turning into an uncontrollable mob. Mitch was torn but ultimately the downcast look on Harry's face won. He already knew he would choose his curly boy of a best friend first.

Still, he threw a glance to the dance floor as he pushed through the crowd surrounding Harry's exit and saw her. She was in the far corner, swinging and swaying slowly with her head thrown back in total abandon. And for the first of three times that night, Mitch's heart broke. A small fissure at the corner for the overwhelming sense that he was walking away from his destiny. And also for the questions he would never get to ask her, like "how do you merge so easily into the shadows and look content?"