In The Shadows: Part I

The Ladies' Washroom

Maggie Hill downed her vodka cran ignoring the worried stare her best friend Hal was throwing her way. She pulled away from her group of friends to the far corner and began to sway wildly to the music. On the inside, she felt silly and clumsy because she never really danced or went out but she wanted to be someone new tonight. Not lovesick Maggie with the big brown puppy eyes. Not boy crazy Maggie who had gotten her heart broken yet again by another preppy prick from her University. No, tonight she was hot mysterious Maggie who could dance on her own in the middle of a crowd pretending like she was half as confident as she looked. Pretty soon, the alcohol caught up and the confidence started to feel real.

"I'm going to the bathroom. I'll be back in a minute" Hal said into her ear.

"Do you want me to come with?" Maggie asked, aware that as confident as she felt she was still a girl and it was never really safe to be alone.

"Sure!" Hal said brightly which made Maggie realize she'd probably asked their roommates who were with them but they declined.

The pulled through the warm pulsating mass of people and find a long line at the ladies. Not wanting to wait, they made their way outside to the bathrooms at the adjoining restaurant hoping they'd be more free. It was a trick they'd learned from their numerous trips out. The Chinese takeaway was mostly empty as they made their way to the bathrooms at the back.

"The twins are such drags," Hal said through the stall as fumbled with her zipper. "Hey, help me here?"

"Sure," Maggie answered pulling it down with one swoop. Hal proceeded to pee immediately having held it in almost all night.

"What, don't look at me like that," she said laughing at Maggie's horrified face, "we're roommates remember, I've seen you cute bottom too many times to be shy now."

Maggie couldn't hold back the laughter and soon was doubled over. She felt the tension of the night slip away as she pulled her coils into an updo away from her face. She moved to the mirror to wipe off the sweat and running glitter from her face. Hal joined her and together they slowly stripped off some of the night.

"I don't know who I was trying to be tonight Hal, honestly. For a moment I forgot all about Andrew and I could breathe but now I just feel like a fraud. I mean look at me, I look like a raccoon that ate a bath-bomb. And this dress is really too tight."

Hal reached over to hug her friend tight, proud of the fact that she had opened herself up tonight but aware that it was all too much.

"I get it Mags, I feel like impostor syndrome is part of the female condition. You want to be who you are, who society dictates and who your family and friends see you as. It's too much. So, let's just give the patriarchy a big fuck you and eat greasy noodles here. The twins can find their way home."

Maggie leaned and melted into her friend, grateful for her endless love and support. It washed over her like a gentle breeze giving her the permission to be herself. They had a few more laughs and hugs and confirmed that they could afford a meal after spending £40 on a drink each.

Stepping out into the near empty restaurant they headed to the counter to see what would satisfy their cravings for salt and grease. Maggie was about to ask for the sticky pork dumplings with black bean noodles when a mess of curly locks caught her eye. She blinked several times before it registered. She discreetly nodded to Hal to confirm what her eyes were seeing. A little gasp escaped her best friend's mouth was the stamp of approval.

Seated at the booth in the corner was Harry Styles. She recalled being obsessed with him in high school when One Direction were at their peak. Slowly as they went on "hiatus" and began solo careers she had lost touch with their music having gravitated more towards the easy RnB and grime her peers were listening to.

"Let's get the table near him and see if he'll say hi," Hal whispered urgently in the crazed manner of a tried and true directioner. Unlike Maggie, Hal had stayed loyal to the boys and believed firmly one day they would reunite. Maggie could not deny her this chance and she was equally curious to see the boy wonder up close.

They picked their food which was ready in record time and headed towards their pre-selected table. As they got closer, Maggie noticed he was not alone. As they sat down across the rockstar and the stranger, the wind was knocked out of her for the second time that night. The chin length mop of black hair and rough stubble in a black ensemble sat in sharp contrast to the glitter suit sat opposite him, yet she felt like he was the most interesting person in the room. Feeling her stare, he looked up and they locked eyes. The realization hit him slowly and his face lit up. For the time first time she felt like she understood every love song written about someone making you feel like home. Because for the first time in her disastrous love life, she didn't feel like she was starting a race but that she had finally arrived home after a long journey, her heart recognizing the dark shadow eyes and warm smile immediately.

"Vodka cran?" two voices said in unison for the second time that night.