WANGXIAN|| Back To The Past Lan Zhan~

Wei Ying...Why?

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"Lan Zhan... I love you..." Wei Wuxian spoke with tears flowing down his face as he let go of  his friends hand.

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"Wei Ying!!! NO!!"
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Lan Zhan woke up panting heavily with sweat coming of his forehead, he was crying as he woke up again without his loved one. 'whats the point of waking up if I'm not with Wei Ying..' he thought 'if only he dragged me down with him or let me save him maybe then I can-'

He was disturbed from his thoughts when his door knocked "Wangi, are you in there?" Lan Xichen spoke in a kind calming voice. Lan wangi knew that if he doesn't answer his brother will enter anyways so he changed as fast as he could, brushed his teath, wore his ribbon and opened the door. He put his arms that were still trembling from the nightmare he had behind his back.
"Brother." He spoke coldly with a stone face on, but his brother can see otherwise. "Wangi, nightmares again?" He spoke smiling. Lan Zhan nodded quietly and said "I'm fine, why did you-" "I just came to tell you we need you for an urgent meeting, it's an arm sent from Mo village." He interrupted his brother a bit urgent.

Lan Zhan was a bit shocked to see his brother breaking a rule for the first time without noticing it, but dismissed it.

||Rule 101: don't interrupt others when speaking. (I made this up)||

Before Lan Xichen was about to walk away he stopped and smiled and spoke softly "Wangi? Why are you wearing Young Master Wei's ribbon?" And walked away without giving Lan Zhan a chance to talk. Lan Zhan was shook and quickly changed his ribbon but carefully tucking away the red ribbon in his white clothing.
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After the meeting, Lan Zhan went back on the jingshi and started to meditate but he felt his hands were trembling again as yet another memory of Wei Wuxian popped up, 'Hanguangjun, Second Master Lan, Lan Wangi, Lan Zhan!'

That voice.... Lan Zhan misses... He misses it so much he's been having trouble trying to remember it and when he feels like he's forgotten it, he punishes himself for being so careless and cries in the dark. Lan Zhan even once thought of killing himself but thought 'wei Ying would come back for me, so I have to be ready' he thinks getting his hopes up not ready for facing the truth.

In the past, Lan Zhan would always act distant and try his best looking like how others want him to. To look cool as ice. To live up to their expectations, but to become an emotionless robot? He would act like he doesn't like Wei Ying and act annoyed even when he means the most to him. He had to go and leave his emotions in the dark, even when he was the ONE who gave him that spark.

And before he met him when he was even younger, every time someone wanted something from him and he messed up he would end up getting punished/hit very hard and the more often it happened the less he cried. Many thought it was cruel but most said it has to be done, but what did he say? He obeyed every rule, but was there even a rule to be loved? Is there a day where you don't have to follow the rules and be free? That was when he met Wei Ying...

Yes, it was all Wei Ying, from the moment he came into his life he knew.. this is the one he's been looking for all along....

"Come back Wei Ying...... Come back, for me?"